BEST OF 2025: Episode 84. Navigating a Higher Needs Nervous System with Christie Uipi

[00:00:00] Hello, hello, and welcome back to the Heal with Grace podcast.
[00:00:05] Happy end of 2025.
[00:00:06] I hope that you're doing all right.
[00:00:08] I hope you're taking care of yourself at the end of this year.
[00:00:10] There can be a lot of stress around the holidays.
[00:00:13] And I really hope this episode brings a little bit more validation for you.
[00:00:19] It's no surprise that this episode is our most played and most downloaded episode because
[00:00:25] of the subject matter and because of the guest who it's with.
[00:00:29] So our most downloaded episode is episode number 84, Navigating a Higher Needs Nervous System
[00:00:36] with Christy Webe.
[00:00:38] Now Christy is such a wonderful speaker at this topic.
[00:00:43] I mean, she is one of the creators of pain reprocessing therapy.
[00:00:47] So it makes a lot of sense, right?
[00:00:49] But furthermore, we share both personal and professional experiences in this episode
[00:00:54] about navigating what it even means to have a higher needs nervous system and how to understand
[00:01:01] yourself a little bit better while you're recovering with chronic symptoms.
[00:01:05] So without further ado, without going into the whole episode, I'm going to let the
[00:01:10] episode speak for itself.
[00:01:12] I really hope you're taking care of yourself and you're giving yourself time to rest
[00:01:17] and chill and be for the rest of this year.
[00:01:20] I know I actually am.
[00:01:21] I'm taking some time for myself.
[00:01:24] And that is very much so needed when you have a higher needs nervous system.
[00:01:28] So without further ado, settle in and get cozy and here we go.
[00:01:35] Hey there and welcome to Heal with Grace.
[00:01:37] I'm your host, Grace Secker, and I'm a holistic licensed therapist and nervous system coach
[00:01:42] who believes that the chronic and often unseen symptoms you're living with are a sign
[00:01:46] of something deeper going on.
[00:01:48] A sign that your nervous system needs attention.
[00:01:51] In each episode, I'll share the science behind the most common chronic health disorders plus
[00:01:56] holistic health tips using mental, physical, and spiritual practices.
[00:02:00] You'll hear what I've learned in my journey and the true stories from our trusted guests
[00:02:04] so you can feel less alone in your experience and give yourself grace no matter what you're
[00:02:08] going through.
[00:02:10] So without further ado, settle in and get cozy.
[00:02:12] It's time to heal with Grace.
[00:02:16] Hello, Christy.
[00:02:17] Thank you so, so, so, so much for coming on and really excited for today's conversation.
[00:02:22] Me too.
[00:02:23] Thank you for having me.
[00:02:24] It's great to see you again.
[00:02:25] Yeah, you too.
[00:02:26] I think that, yeah, I came up to you actually at the PPDA conference last year because I
[00:02:30] heard you speak and I was like, I need to have her on the podcast.
[00:02:33] So we are doing it now and why don't you just get us started with telling people
[00:02:38] who you are, what you do, how you came into this work.
[00:02:41] I would be happy to.
[00:02:42] So my name is Christy Wepe.
[00:02:44] I'm a psychotherapist and the founder of the Better Mind Center, which is just
[00:02:47] a team of clinicians who I love, who all work in the field of my body medicine.
[00:02:53] So I'm a little too new.
[00:02:54] I work all day with folks one-on-one who are experiencing chronic symptoms of some sort
[00:02:59] that are neuroplastic in nature to some degree.
[00:03:02] And I got into this work after healing from every symptom in the book myself.
[00:03:07] I feel like I'm really up there in terms of, there's a few of us who are like tallying
[00:03:11] up quite a few symptoms.
[00:03:13] I'm really up there in the dozens of having experienced quite a few from head to toe.
[00:03:17] I healed from this work coming from mainstream medicine that did absolutely nothing for me.
[00:03:22] And when I learned about the world of mind body medicine and the power of our brains,
[00:03:26] it changed the quality of my life so much that I really can't imagine specializing
[00:03:31] in anything else.
[00:03:33] So this is where I'm at.
[00:03:35] I'm parked in this lane for the foreseeable future for sure.
[00:03:39] Yeah.
[00:03:40] Okay.
[00:03:40] So we're talking about a higher needs nervous system on this episode, but I want
[00:03:44] to talk a little bit more about what you just spoke to of all the different symptoms
[00:03:47] because I feel like I'm very much so in that same game as well.
[00:03:51] And what does that mean to people?
[00:03:53] Because I have I don't know about you, but I have a lot of people that come to me.
[00:03:55] They're like, is this neuroplastic?
[00:03:56] Is that neuroplastic?
[00:03:57] Or they don't even use the term, right?
[00:03:59] They're just like, what is this?
[00:04:00] Is this nervous system based?
[00:04:02] That's usually what they say.
[00:04:03] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
[00:04:04] So what do you mean by having all different kinds of symptoms?
[00:04:06] I think what it means to the person depends on where they are in the process.
[00:04:10] So for me, just literally to describe what I mean,
[00:04:13] I had many different pain and other symptoms that occurred over the course
[00:04:18] of many years and also that stack simultaneously.
[00:04:21] So at any given time, I might have had pain in my hamstring, both my wrists,
[00:04:26] side of my neck, headache, vertigo and nausea, for example.
[00:04:31] And for me, all of those sensations were coming from the same place,
[00:04:35] which was my brain, learned neural pathways or like the language
[00:04:39] that you're using, nervous system based.
[00:04:41] What that means at any given time depends on where someone is coming
[00:04:45] from the education that they have in the lens through which they're seeing
[00:04:47] their symptoms is prior to learning about the world of nervous system healing.
[00:04:53] I had a different doctor for every one of those symptoms.
[00:04:56] So I had a doctor for my hamstring and a doctor for my vertigo
[00:05:00] and then someone managing the medication for all of these various symptoms.
[00:05:03] And none of it helps.
[00:05:04] So each appointment I went to made me feel sicker and sicker.
[00:05:08] I come to Dump Day with all of these doctors.
[00:05:10] And I went to doctors on both coasts because I live in Los Angeles from New England.
[00:05:14] And I went to every imaginable practitioner in both locations,
[00:05:18] like flying back and forward, trying to find the best care.
[00:05:20] If you have that many providers and that many symptoms and that many medications
[00:05:24] and none of them are making you feel better, it's probably a clue
[00:05:29] that we're missing a link.
[00:05:30] So there was such a transition and I'm sure maybe you've experienced this
[00:05:34] or you've seen this in the work that you do with your clients.
[00:05:35] There's such a transition to recognizing I don't have 20 distinct sensations
[00:05:41] in my body, but I don't have 20 distinct causes of sensation or 20 distinct problems.
[00:05:47] I have this one centralized issue and that for me, and again,
[00:05:50] I think it depends on where like where someone's coming from
[00:05:52] and the ones to which they're seeing their symptoms.
[00:05:55] But that was the most relieving thing in the world.
[00:05:57] Like, oh my gosh, I only need to do this one thing.
[00:06:00] It's a hard process.
[00:06:01] Don't get me wrong.
[00:06:02] But it's streamlined and that was very freeing for me.
[00:06:05] Yeah, it can be.
[00:06:06] I mean, at least in my experience with my journey, I didn't connect those dots.
[00:06:11] I dealt with like manage the pain aspect using curable, using PRT.
[00:06:16] And then I was like, oh, cool, I'm good.
[00:06:18] A few years later, other symptoms popped up
[00:06:20] and I didn't connect the dots right off the bat.
[00:06:21] Interesting.
[00:06:22] I didn't realize it until a little bit later.
[00:06:24] And I was like, okay, all right, all right.
[00:06:27] Well, because it's wild.
[00:06:28] The scope of sensations and symptoms, that would make sense to me.
[00:06:32] And I'm not sure the order in which I'm familiar with some of your story
[00:06:35] and I can think of the list of symptoms in my head.
[00:06:37] I'm not sure the order in which you experience them.
[00:06:39] But it can be a little mind boggling that something like itching
[00:06:44] or pelvic pain or dizziness is all the same.
[00:06:49] It feels too simple for someone who's really experiencing excruciating symptoms
[00:06:53] on the flip side of it being really relieving and freeing.
[00:06:56] Another thing I've heard is this pushback of that's too simple.
[00:07:00] I'm experiencing too much pain for all to be one thing.
[00:07:04] It also can be scary because it can feel in the beginning like,
[00:07:08] oh, then I have to do all this to change it.
[00:07:11] Yeah.
[00:07:12] It can also feel like, oh, cool, I can.
[00:07:14] But also there's this element of like, that's really big and scary and what?
[00:07:19] Yes.
[00:07:20] Right.
[00:07:20] And where do I start and how am I starting over this many years in?
[00:07:24] Yeah.
[00:07:25] OK, so then let's go into what we're talking about
[00:07:28] because this is a great segue.
[00:07:29] Like what does it mean to have a higher needs nervous system
[00:07:32] in regards to everything we're talking about?
[00:07:33] All the symptoms need to be talking about this with you
[00:07:37] because I can't think of this is something I want to intro personally
[00:07:40] with myself thought through and worked on or talked about with my own therapist.
[00:07:44] But I haven't gotten a chance to talk about it with another practitioner in the field.
[00:07:47] So I'm actually really excited to see what similarities we might have.
[00:07:51] But for me, having a higher needs nervous system
[00:07:55] or another way of saying this might be having a sensitive nervous system
[00:07:58] means that on the bell curve, and I'm putting myself in this category
[00:08:02] and a lot of us who experience chronic symptoms
[00:08:05] probably would put themselves in the same boat.
[00:08:07] On the bell curve, our nervous systems ask for more to recover.
[00:08:11] They need more to feel good.
[00:08:14] And they experience greater intensity from lower levels of stimulation
[00:08:21] than perhaps whatever the average is on whatever bell curve I'm referencing.
[00:08:25] And both for me and for people that I've worked with,
[00:08:28] I think this can be a point of confusion
[00:08:30] and sometimes a point of contention.
[00:08:33] I've had many clients ask me and sometimes state with a lot of frustration
[00:08:37] how do I make my nervous system less sensitive?
[00:08:41] I'm tired of it needing some.
[00:08:43] And we can make some point talk about what it might need,
[00:08:46] but things like rest or emotional expression or time out or spate.
[00:08:51] I don't want it to need all of this all the time.
[00:08:55] And so there's this funny place in the middle
[00:08:58] where I think we have some choice points to make around
[00:09:01] what we accept about the sensitivity of our nervous system,
[00:09:05] what we lean into and appreciate
[00:09:07] as this is who I am and how I am
[00:09:09] and there's some strengths to be found from it.
[00:09:13] Versus, I feel limited by the ways that my nervous system is sensitive
[00:09:17] and there are some changes that I want to make
[00:09:19] to increase my threshold of stress or stimulation.
[00:09:24] I just thought it would be a fun conversation to have
[00:09:25] in terms of what does it mean to have a sensitive nervous system
[00:09:29] or a higher needs nervous system
[00:09:30] and then how much of that do we embrace
[00:09:32] versus how much of that is worth shifting?
[00:09:35] It definitely is a conversation that I've had with myself
[00:09:38] and reflected on many times
[00:09:40] because I very much so resonate with that.
[00:09:42] Like I've always been a sensitive person, sensitive nervous system
[00:09:48] and I really do think there's a point where we can say,
[00:09:52] yes, that's 100% something you can work on.
[00:09:54] You don't have to live in a bubble, essentially.
[00:09:55] You don't have to be doing these things all the time
[00:09:59] to just live, to just daily live, right?
[00:10:02] And at the same time, yeah, what do we acknowledge
[00:10:06] is actually sometimes what I like to call super power
[00:10:09] and what we can really grab on to and be appreciative of.
[00:10:13] That take a little bit to get to, but I also think it's person-specific
[00:10:17] but I think, yeah, let's talk about, okay,
[00:10:19] what do you see as that choice point to where we look at it
[00:10:22] and we're like, this is something we can work with for sure.
[00:10:24] We don't have to be so tied in, tuned in all the time.
[00:10:28] Yes, the words that come to mind
[00:10:31] when I think of these two different camps
[00:10:33] of what do we want to embrace
[00:10:34] versus what do we potentially want to shift or change
[00:10:36] are container versus limitation.
[00:10:42] If I have a positive relationship to the word container,
[00:10:44] like the idea of being contained feels really good to me.
[00:10:47] So if there are ways that I am taking care of my nervous system
[00:10:50] that feel like it's helping me stay contained,
[00:10:53] that's something that I've developed a positive relationship with.
[00:10:56] On the flip side, if there are things about my nervous system
[00:10:58] that make me feel like I'm limited
[00:11:00] or feel like limitations on ways I want to interact
[00:11:03] with myself, with people around me, with the world around me,
[00:11:06] then that feels like it's worth challenging.
[00:11:09] And I feel like we probably both have specifics
[00:11:12] in both sides of things,
[00:11:14] which might make it feel clearer to listeners
[00:11:16] but that's my general framework
[00:11:19] is if it's feeling containing and grounding and helpful,
[00:11:22] then my sensitivity is not something that I am trying to shift.
[00:11:25] Yeah. Okay. So what are some of those things
[00:11:27] that might be helpful for you that you wouldn't shift?
[00:11:29] Just to take a step back and to own it for myself.
[00:11:32] My baseline level of sensitivity is kind of high.
[00:11:35] Like I can't listen to music
[00:11:37] and have someone talk to me at the same time.
[00:11:40] Or if I'm driving,
[00:11:41] it's like I need to turn down the music
[00:11:43] to see where I'm going.
[00:11:44] I can't have that much input as one example.
[00:11:47] I can't stack quite as many sessions
[00:11:51] for doing one-on-one work with clients.
[00:11:53] I have compared to other practitioners that I've talked to,
[00:11:57] I need to take more breaks to decompress my body
[00:12:01] so that I can be present for the next client.
[00:12:03] Like I've talked to people who have seen six people in a row
[00:12:06] and it doesn't have much of an impact on their body.
[00:12:08] If I did that, I would implode.
[00:12:11] Not have enough time to bring my nervous system back down.
[00:12:16] Like it's like a sponge.
[00:12:17] My nervous system feels like a sponge
[00:12:18] and it can soak things up.
[00:12:20] So that's another example of it.
[00:12:22] When I wake up in the morning,
[00:12:23] I can't immediately dive into whatever the task is.
[00:12:27] So if I have to wake up and get ready for work
[00:12:30] or I have to wake up and rally my kids for school,
[00:12:33] I need some time by myself with lower stimulation.
[00:12:37] While my brain is in that sensitive morning place,
[00:12:40] prior to doing any of those tasks.
[00:12:43] So I could probably think of 100 things that are specific to me
[00:12:47] that are indications of having a sensitive nervous system
[00:12:50] and that don't feel like limits to me.
[00:12:54] Those things feel like ways of taking care of myself
[00:12:59] that I'm not willing to part with.
[00:13:02] I just came back from a family trip.
[00:13:03] I had a bunch of them from a family trip.
[00:13:04] It comes up a lot when I'm traveling.
[00:13:07] I need a space of my own.
[00:13:09] It doesn't need to be a whole room.
[00:13:10] It doesn't need to be a dedicated anti-stimulation room for me.
[00:13:15] It doesn't mean I need to like live in a palace
[00:13:17] when I'm on vacation,
[00:13:18] but I need somewhere I know I can go each day
[00:13:22] where I can close the door and not interact with someone
[00:13:26] when I am out of routine when I'm on vacation.
[00:13:29] That's not negotiable for me.
[00:13:30] I also need movement when I'm on vacation.
[00:13:33] It's not my regular routine.
[00:13:34] I'm not going to my regular gym,
[00:13:35] but I know I need to move my body.
[00:13:38] So there really are.
[00:13:39] If I just sat here, I could talk your ear off
[00:13:41] on a bunch of things that come to mind
[00:13:43] when I think of these are ways that I take care of myself.
[00:13:46] But they feel like that.
[00:13:48] They feel like taking care of myself.
[00:13:51] Does that make sense?
[00:13:52] And do you have a bunch of those?
[00:13:53] I mean, I could probably say everything you said.
[00:13:56] Yeah.
[00:13:57] Pretty much.
[00:13:58] And they've become like taking care of supportive to me.
[00:14:01] Helpful.
[00:14:02] I love that.
[00:14:03] Like in the mornings, I have very much so pride in myself
[00:14:06] because it feels good and helps me.
[00:14:08] There's no way I could wake up and even an hour later
[00:14:11] go straight into seeing a client or work or something.
[00:14:13] That just isn't going to feel great to me.
[00:14:16] And I feel my best when I do things for myself
[00:14:18] and set myself up for the day.
[00:14:20] So yes, definitely.
[00:14:21] And I think that's come over time
[00:14:23] of really understanding, practicing
[00:14:26] and being aware of, okay, what is too much
[00:14:28] and what is supportive.
[00:14:30] That takes time to figure out,
[00:14:31] but the more you have experience of like,
[00:14:34] I've played with the amount of sessions a day.
[00:14:35] Yeah.
[00:14:36] Many times, right?
[00:14:37] Like that was too much.
[00:14:39] Okay, I'm going to scale back to this.
[00:14:41] It also changes depending on what's going on in my life
[00:14:44] and what's happening, right?
[00:14:46] So how full is my life?
[00:14:48] How active am I?
[00:14:49] How many people am I around?
[00:14:51] You know, if I'm having a very chill week
[00:14:53] and I don't have much else going on,
[00:14:55] yeah, maybe I wouldn't feel as bad
[00:14:57] seeing more sessions in a day or something like that.
[00:14:59] So it is dependent,
[00:15:00] but there's definitely some parameters
[00:15:02] of this feels good to my nervous system
[00:15:05] because, yeah, I am more in tune with the world.
[00:15:08] I'm more in tune with people.
[00:15:09] I pick up on things.
[00:15:10] I am that sponge more.
[00:15:11] Yes, yeah.
[00:15:12] Right?
[00:15:13] So then how can I support that instead of be like,
[00:15:17] oh my gosh, I hate that I have to do this
[00:15:19] and don't get me wrong.
[00:15:20] There's been those times for sure
[00:15:21] where I'm like, I'm over this work.
[00:15:23] I don't want to do it anymore.
[00:15:25] Yeah, it's hard work.
[00:15:27] Yeah.
[00:15:28] But over time, understanding those nuances,
[00:15:33] I mean, helps me be in my life so much more
[00:15:37] and it's enjoyable.
[00:15:38] Yes, it's enjoyable.
[00:15:40] And I think that I love that you are using that word,
[00:15:43] that these ways of taking care of ourselves,
[00:15:45] they can feel enjoyable in and of themselves
[00:15:47] and they can help us access joy throughout the day.
[00:15:50] That's where I get into some back and forth
[00:15:52] with my clients when they,
[00:15:53] and I had this process for myself.
[00:15:56] It's not like I arrived thrilled at all the things
[00:15:59] I needed to do to take care of my life.
[00:16:01] I had that same like, why do I need to do all these things?
[00:16:04] But all the clients who say like, that's a lot.
[00:16:06] I read all those examples you just shared, Christy.
[00:16:08] Like you'd get a lot more time back in your day
[00:16:12] if you weren't doing those things.
[00:16:14] Like my partner just hops out of bed and gets into work.
[00:16:16] Like how is that not objectively a better way to live?
[00:16:20] Like you have to do all this stuff.
[00:16:22] They don't need to do all this stuff.
[00:16:23] And I've had some ping-pongs with clients in that conversation.
[00:16:29] And what it comes back to for me is this is like a gravity problem.
[00:16:33] Well, you're not going to solve it.
[00:16:34] I can't suddenly just start floating through air
[00:16:37] and be anti-gravity in my body.
[00:16:39] It's not an option.
[00:16:42] I can't change the fact that I am a sensitive person,
[00:16:46] that I have like more mirror neurons in me
[00:16:49] than the typical person, that I am not sponge.
[00:16:53] And this might be an opinion.
[00:16:54] Like maybe other people feel differently.
[00:16:56] And again, there are things that can shift
[00:16:57] and we can talk about that too.
[00:16:58] But in my opinion, it's not something I have had success
[00:17:03] foundationally changing about myself.
[00:17:05] And it feels confrontational to myself to make that a goal.
[00:17:10] So if I wake up every day and I see my partner hop out of bed
[00:17:13] and just get right to work and feel full of energy,
[00:17:15] and I know that that's not within my access,
[00:17:18] spending time comparing myself to someone who doesn't need that
[00:17:22] does not feel compassionate to me.
[00:17:23] It just is creating this gap where I feel like I'm failing.
[00:17:26] I feel like it's some part of recovery that I haven't accessed.
[00:17:30] And that is fueling a pain, fear, symptom,
[00:17:33] fear, nervous system cycle in and of itself.
[00:17:35] So it's not that I don't understand the feelings of frustration
[00:17:38] around needing to attend to our nervous systems in this way.
[00:17:42] It's just, it's what I call a gravity problem.
[00:17:44] Like my body won't float through air and defy gravity,
[00:17:48] nor will I wake up in a body that is less sensitive to stimulation,
[00:17:53] feelings, vibe, like everything of the micro environment around me
[00:17:59] and in many ways that macro environment we're living in.
[00:18:02] I would even argue sometimes, maybe not 100% of the time,
[00:18:05] but sometimes the people that do get straight out of bed
[00:18:08] and go into work, I think they have some stress going on.
[00:18:11] They don't always seem super happy.
[00:18:13] Do they get two hours in and they're like,
[00:18:16] it's days long already, you know?
[00:18:17] I mean, you're stressed out too.
[00:18:19] Yeah, it just may not show up like it might.
[00:18:22] And those of us that have chronic symptoms and mind body.
[00:18:26] I love that you said that.
[00:18:28] It's so true, like no one gets off totally free,
[00:18:30] like something everyone has there.
[00:18:32] So that's the thing I think about all the time too, like,
[00:18:35] and I'm curious if you actually have an answer to this
[00:18:37] or if you ever thought of it,
[00:18:38] would you choose for your stress to show up differently?
[00:18:44] Would you choose for it to show up in numbing yourself out?
[00:18:47] Would you choose for it to show up in some sort of addiction
[00:18:50] or compulsion to work or like, we can't change it.
[00:18:54] But sometimes I think I'm like, my answer is no.
[00:18:57] Even though it's been a painful ride, literally,
[00:19:01] I would not change how clear the communication is.
[00:19:04] That's a great question.
[00:19:07] And that's hard.
[00:19:08] I mean, you're right.
[00:19:08] It's hard to answer because I don't know.
[00:19:09] I don't know the other.
[00:19:10] Is the graphs always greener or I have no idea.
[00:19:13] Because a lot of those other things,
[00:19:16] addiction, whatever it is, sounds really hard too.
[00:19:19] And like you said, not always known.
[00:19:22] Like it might take a really long time
[00:19:24] for someone to come to, if you will, and look at it.
[00:19:27] Whereas, yeah, with us, it's like,
[00:19:29] hello, it's right off the bat.
[00:19:30] Our body's talking right to us.
[00:19:32] Yeah. Yes.
[00:19:33] Yeah. And I find that really helpful.
[00:19:36] And there's so much, there's so many lessons and metaphors.
[00:19:41] And I love myself so much more because of everything
[00:19:44] that I've learned throughout it,
[00:19:45] which helps me enjoy my life more and enjoy taking care of myself.
[00:19:51] Yes. I love that you keep bringing it back
[00:19:53] to the joy and taking care of yourself.
[00:19:55] And it really can feel like that.
[00:19:57] Really, what I think about not getting access,
[00:20:00] and maybe this is also where the limits,
[00:20:02] like that we can chat a little bit on the limitations.
[00:20:05] When I think about not being able to attend to myself
[00:20:08] in that way, like needing to rush through my day
[00:20:12] or apply those old perfectionism standards that I used to,
[00:20:15] like I used to live in discordance
[00:20:17] with the needs of my nervous system, right?
[00:20:19] Like probably all of us did,
[00:20:20] that's what our symptoms were telling us.
[00:20:22] I used to just blow past them,
[00:20:23] like blow past my limits, blow past my needs.
[00:20:26] And it was awful.
[00:20:27] This just works.
[00:20:28] This just works better to be more mindful and attentive.
[00:20:33] And a lot of it is just watching input.
[00:20:35] Like I can only tolerate so much input
[00:20:38] of like lots of things, stimulation, feelings also.
[00:20:41] Just like how much I'm affected by other people's feelings
[00:20:45] or nervous system activation.
[00:20:46] I might hit a limit sooner than other folks.
[00:20:50] And by understanding that limit,
[00:20:52] then when you are seeing people,
[00:20:55] whether you're a therapist or not, right?
[00:20:57] When you identify as someone who's impacted
[00:20:59] by other people and sensitive to emotions
[00:21:01] and can read the room really well,
[00:21:03] but then get overwhelmed easily,
[00:21:05] us understanding that and taking care of ourselves,
[00:21:07] we can be in it more.
[00:21:08] Yeah.
[00:21:10] Yeah.
[00:21:10] Okay. So then let's talk about what do we mean by limits?
[00:21:13] By limitations.
[00:21:14] Okay. So I want to be mindful that everyone's limits
[00:21:17] are going to be different for a variety of different reasons.
[00:21:20] But one of them is people's goals are different.
[00:21:22] So let me think of an example in my real life.
[00:21:25] A long time ago when I was working
[00:21:26] at another group practice,
[00:21:27] we wanted to expand the practice.
[00:21:28] So I was a therapist.
[00:21:30] I had those sets of skills.
[00:21:31] I'm pretty comfortable with people one-on-one.
[00:21:34] And it was tasked to me by my supervisor
[00:21:36] to go out and to other physicians, practitioners,
[00:21:41] in the neighborhood of the office
[00:21:42] to try to form new relationships,
[00:21:45] which sounded great in theory.
[00:21:46] I definitely want public education
[00:21:48] around nervous system healing.
[00:21:50] So I was like, yeah, totally.
[00:21:51] Everyone's by the word.
[00:21:51] I tried this for about a month
[00:21:53] and I had raging anxiety every single day of it
[00:21:57] because I had to walk in to an all like a busy office
[00:22:00] in Beverly Hills of people I don't know
[00:22:03] go up to their receptionist and like pitch,
[00:22:05] like, hi, I'm Christine from Down the Road.
[00:22:07] Can I bring you lunch one day?
[00:22:09] It took that sort of interaction where I don't have it.
[00:22:12] Like that it requires small talk
[00:22:14] and some degree of charm and like smoozing
[00:22:17] and knowing the rules and engagement.
[00:22:19] I was so bad at it.
[00:22:21] And I remember it took me,
[00:22:23] I knew I felt anxious after a month,
[00:22:25] but it took me about three months
[00:22:26] to go back to my boss and say,
[00:22:28] I am not going to do this role.
[00:22:30] But there was a choice point for me
[00:22:31] where I remember thinking to myself,
[00:22:33] this is important.
[00:22:35] This is not just like make new buddies
[00:22:38] in the professional neighborhood.
[00:22:40] We want to be able to help physicians understand
[00:22:44] what nervous system healing is.
[00:22:45] So I want to be able to do this task theoretically.
[00:22:50] So it was a choice point.
[00:22:51] Like is this something where I need to build my anxiety for
[00:22:54] in some ways it's conflict, right?
[00:22:55] Because like the person that I'm encountering
[00:22:57] doesn't necessarily want me to interrupt their day.
[00:22:59] So I feel like a burden.
[00:23:00] I feel like I'm annoying them.
[00:23:01] Like I go into my head.
[00:23:02] Do I want to grow my capacity for that?
[00:23:04] Or do I want to accept that this is a limit for me?
[00:23:07] Like I am not motivated enough
[00:23:10] to want this to be a skill of mine or a goal of mine.
[00:23:14] Like might there be someone
[00:23:15] who's just better suited for this task?
[00:23:18] Does it bring me enough enjoyment to want to work on this?
[00:23:22] And for me with that example,
[00:23:24] the motivation was not high enough.
[00:23:26] There were other people on the team
[00:23:27] who just naturally like,
[00:23:28] what do you mean that makes you nervous?
[00:23:30] Like that person will never remember you.
[00:23:32] Just go ask if you want to bring them lunch.
[00:23:34] Who cares?
[00:23:35] That person is more motivated
[00:23:37] and will get more joy and fulfillment from the role.
[00:23:39] So for me, that was a limit
[00:23:41] even though someone else might have looked at it
[00:23:43] and said like that was an opportunity
[00:23:45] for you to challenge your conflict avoidance.
[00:23:47] And that's just one example
[00:23:48] of probably many that occur all the time
[00:23:51] where even within the role,
[00:23:53] like the idea of limits,
[00:23:56] I think there's some agency to be able to say,
[00:23:58] do I want to work on this?
[00:24:01] I think we can make goals and work on lots of things
[00:24:04] even if they feel really difficult
[00:24:06] or will take a very long time to achieve.
[00:24:08] And you have to ask yourself,
[00:24:10] am I interested in climbing that mountain?
[00:24:12] And if the answer is no, I think that's okay.
[00:24:15] And that might be different from another example
[00:24:18] that you're probably too well known in this space.
[00:24:21] I was really afraid of flying for a long time.
[00:24:24] And that did genuinely feel like a limit
[00:24:27] because I wanted to visit family
[00:24:30] and attend work conferences out of state
[00:24:32] and it elicited a lot of fear in me
[00:24:35] that could have been in some other season
[00:24:38] or a different version of me that might have been a limit.
[00:24:40] Like I don't want to fly.
[00:24:42] It's too up-regulating for me.
[00:24:43] I'm not finding enough traction there.
[00:24:45] That was a place where I pushed myself
[00:24:46] because my motivation was very high.
[00:24:48] It was absolutely, I couldn't imagine not leaving the state.
[00:24:51] I had one very scary flying experience
[00:24:53] that like impact.
[00:24:54] I was like, it is possible for me
[00:24:55] to stack corrective experiences.
[00:24:57] And heal from this.
[00:24:59] Hey, friends, it's Grace.
[00:25:01] If you feel like you've been doing all of the treatment protocols
[00:25:04] and all the different modalities to heal
[00:25:05] and you're still not feeling better
[00:25:07] and it's just kind of managing things,
[00:25:09] I'm here to talk to you for a second.
[00:25:12] So it's not because you're doing it wrong
[00:25:14] or you just haven't found the answer yet.
[00:25:16] It's truly because your nervous system
[00:25:18] and brain are still operating in protection mode.
[00:25:21] And your nervous system and brain,
[00:25:23] when it perceives danger,
[00:25:25] physical or emotional danger,
[00:25:27] and even just ongoing stress,
[00:25:29] it keeps your body on high alert.
[00:25:30] So none of those treatment modalities
[00:25:33] are actually going to stick or work
[00:25:35] until you work with the bottom line,
[00:25:36] which is your brain and nervous system.
[00:25:38] Because when you're in the danger mode state,
[00:25:40] your digestion, immune system, hormones,
[00:25:43] and pain signals all get affected.
[00:25:45] It's like trying to heal
[00:25:47] while the alarm bells are still ringing in the background.
[00:25:50] And that is why so many people get stuck.
[00:25:52] You can do all of the treatment things you want,
[00:25:55] but if your system isn't regulated,
[00:25:57] your body can't access its natural healing state.
[00:26:00] This is exactly why I created
[00:26:03] my four month signature program,
[00:26:05] the Mind Body Healing Method.
[00:26:07] It's a step by step process
[00:26:08] that helps you calm your system,
[00:26:10] rewire old stress patterns,
[00:26:12] and retrain your brain to feel safe again.
[00:26:14] So you can finally start to heal for good,
[00:26:17] chronic pain and illness.
[00:26:18] This is a true recovery program,
[00:26:20] not just management.
[00:26:21] You'll get guided lessons,
[00:26:22] nervous system practices,
[00:26:24] live support, individual and group support,
[00:26:26] and a community that actually understands
[00:26:29] what you're going through.
[00:26:31] Enrollment is now open.
[00:26:32] So you can find the link below in the show notes,
[00:26:35] or go to elevatetherapywellness.com
[00:26:38] slash mind body healing method.
[00:26:40] Because until your brain and body feel safe,
[00:26:42] no protocol or treatment plan will actually work.
[00:26:46] When your nervous system works,
[00:26:48] everything starts to heal.
[00:26:51] So two totally random different examples
[00:26:54] where I just think the person gets to decide,
[00:26:56] is this a limit?
[00:26:57] And you want to say it can't, it's a boundary,
[00:27:00] or I don't want to put effort into changing this,
[00:27:03] or is this an area of growth for me?
[00:27:06] And so with nervous systems
[00:27:08] that are a little higher needs,
[00:27:09] more sensitive, if you will,
[00:27:11] yeah, we can make those decisions.
[00:27:14] How much do we tune in
[00:27:16] and shift some of the limitations?
[00:27:18] And how much do we not?
[00:27:19] And I think this is important to note
[00:27:21] because it's not overall inherently a bad thing
[00:27:24] to have a sensitive nervous system
[00:27:26] where I think sometimes it feels like that, right?
[00:27:28] Like, well, if I can't do all of these things, it's bad.
[00:27:31] I'm not like this other person,
[00:27:32] like you were talking about comparison, right?
[00:27:35] So I think there's this back and forth of
[00:27:37] what's impacting me and what's not,
[00:27:39] which is definitely what you're just saying.
[00:27:41] Yes, and they can be way just to name it
[00:27:43] because I'm in a different place right now
[00:27:45] than I was 10 years ago
[00:27:46] and I was in the throes of really intense fear.
[00:27:48] Like someone listening, your push point might be,
[00:27:51] I really want to go to the grocery store
[00:27:54] and it currently feels like a limit
[00:27:56] because of fear, anxiety, sensations, pain, dizziness,
[00:28:01] like that, they can be more daily or quote unquote smaller.
[00:28:04] Like I want to be able to expose myself
[00:28:06] to the grocery store
[00:28:07] is absolutely a worthwhile endeavor to take a look at.
[00:28:11] And that for some people might be on,
[00:28:13] depending on where they are, a gross point
[00:28:16] because it might feel really important
[00:28:18] for them to feel capable
[00:28:19] of being able to do that for themselves.
[00:28:20] And at some other juncture, that might be a limit.
[00:28:23] Like that might be beyond where you are
[00:28:25] that day or that step.
[00:28:27] Yeah, and the more too, we have to recognize
[00:28:30] the more that we do start expanding our,
[00:28:33] we say safety and our nervous system,
[00:28:35] maybe the more things that we approach.
[00:28:37] But when we recognize we're very overstimulated
[00:28:39] and stuck fear response,
[00:28:41] yeah, it's going to look different
[00:28:42] than maybe we're both of you and I are now.
[00:28:45] Yeah, totally.
[00:28:45] Of expanding our limits.
[00:28:47] Yeah, totally.
[00:28:48] And I'm glad you brought that up
[00:28:49] because this is where the idea of approach
[00:28:51] and avoidance with limits is so important.
[00:28:54] And I can hear a PRT lens here.
[00:28:56] There's a difference in my opinion
[00:28:58] between respecting your limit
[00:28:59] and respecting your boundary
[00:29:00] and respecting your wants and your goals
[00:29:03] versus allowing your anxiety
[00:29:05] to be the only thing
[00:29:06] that's fueling your decision making.
[00:29:09] And I'm guilty.
[00:29:09] We are all guilty of this.
[00:29:10] I think at some points, I certainly have been.
[00:29:12] So it's okay if someone listening resonates
[00:29:15] with this and feels like
[00:29:15] anxiety rules all of my decisions
[00:29:18] that the fear brain really takes precedence
[00:29:20] when it's on.
[00:29:21] So you're in good company
[00:29:22] if you're experiencing this.
[00:29:24] But that's where I'd want to help a client challenge.
[00:29:28] It might feel like a limit
[00:29:29] because your anxiety is too high
[00:29:31] to go through that experience right now.
[00:29:33] And I'd like for the decision making
[00:29:36] to come from a place of groundedness
[00:29:38] or want or preference
[00:29:41] as opposed to the decision making
[00:29:43] solely being based on fear
[00:29:45] because that's when limits
[00:29:46] can become really all-encompassing.
[00:29:48] Like if we start avoiding the grocery store,
[00:29:50] we might start avoiding any interaction with neighbors.
[00:29:54] We might start avoiding leaving our house.
[00:29:56] We might start avoiding leaving our living room.
[00:29:59] Avoidance is contagious.
[00:30:01] And the more that we avoid things,
[00:30:03] the more that our brain codes
[00:30:04] all of those things as dangerous
[00:30:06] and anything even like them
[00:30:07] are associated with them as dangerous.
[00:30:09] And that can become like a very fast moving snowball.
[00:30:13] Yeah, which I'm pretty sure
[00:30:14] a lot of people listening to this
[00:30:16] can resonate with
[00:30:16] because a lot of people
[00:30:18] end up having a certain symptom
[00:30:20] or a great example is like food sensitivities.
[00:30:22] There's been a couple
[00:30:23] and then you're told that,
[00:30:24] oh, these other things are bad.
[00:30:26] And so then you become more sensitive to those
[00:30:28] and especially with food,
[00:30:29] it's a huge snowball effect
[00:30:30] because there's so much fear around it.
[00:30:32] I'm really glad you brought up that specific
[00:30:34] because that makes it way more tangible.
[00:30:36] Same with movement.
[00:30:37] Like if you have pain
[00:30:38] and bending to your right causes pain,
[00:30:42] then it might become bending to your left.
[00:30:43] It might become anything with squatting.
[00:30:45] It might become anything with any sort of rotation.
[00:30:48] And thank you so much for naming that.
[00:30:50] It's not necessarily always experiences or events
[00:30:53] or it can be something within your own body
[00:30:55] that you're either avoiding
[00:30:57] or that feels like a limit or a growth point.
[00:31:00] Okay, so maybe you use one of those examples.
[00:31:02] How do we know what's something to expand our growth in
[00:31:07] and what's something to,
[00:31:09] maybe it would be too much at this time
[00:31:11] for our anxiety or fear.
[00:31:13] Okay, I have a couple of thoughts on that.
[00:31:16] The first would be back to this idea
[00:31:18] of what's driving the decision.
[00:31:20] Anxiety is going to be in the mix no matter why.
[00:31:22] We're like we're dealing with nervous system regulation.
[00:31:24] But what's driving the decision?
[00:31:26] Is it purely fear and anxiety?
[00:31:29] And is there any way we can parse out
[00:31:31] fear and anxiety from preference or want?
[00:31:35] And this can be hard.
[00:31:36] When you're anxious,
[00:31:37] it's hard to imagine not being anxious,
[00:31:40] but one simple question to start the ball rolling is,
[00:31:43] let's go back to the grocery store example.
[00:31:45] And that could be, I don't want to go,
[00:31:46] I am scared to go to the grocery store
[00:31:48] because it's going to hurt too badly.
[00:31:49] It's going to make me too nauseous.
[00:31:51] It's going to make me too dizzy.
[00:31:52] It's going to make me too anxious.
[00:31:54] I'm not going to be able to calm down
[00:31:55] from it after lots of different reasons.
[00:31:57] Why that might feel like a limit.
[00:31:58] So simply asking yourself,
[00:32:00] if it weren't for the fear
[00:32:03] that I'm experiencing around this,
[00:32:05] do I want to be able to go?
[00:32:07] Like is that,
[00:32:08] does it feel like I would prefer to be able
[00:32:11] to have the freedom to do that?
[00:32:13] Or do I not really care?
[00:32:14] It's like not my partner does all the grocery shopping.
[00:32:16] Like that's not really,
[00:32:17] I'm not super motivated to climb that mountain
[00:32:20] to be able to suss out that difference
[00:32:22] for fear and anxiety versus want or preference.
[00:32:24] And then if you do decide,
[00:32:27] yeah, I actually do think I would want to do that
[00:32:29] if it weren't for the fear
[00:32:30] that doesn't necessarily mean
[00:32:32] you have to choose that goal
[00:32:34] or you have to choose it right away.
[00:32:36] So you might recognize,
[00:32:37] okay, this is something that I want to work on.
[00:32:39] And there's a possibility
[00:32:40] it could be above your threshold.
[00:32:43] And you'd have to work up to it.
[00:32:44] And basically anything that you're working on
[00:32:47] can be broken down into smaller steps.
[00:32:49] So it's a matter of what skills do you have
[00:32:52] to attempt to move you through that experience?
[00:32:56] And can those tools help you remain
[00:32:58] in some sort of window of tolerance
[00:33:00] as you're exposing yourself to the activity?
[00:33:03] If the answer is yes,
[00:33:04] then absolutely you can push yourself
[00:33:06] into discomfort while using tools to regulate,
[00:33:10] while recognizing if the tools are falling short,
[00:33:13] not because you're doing them wrong,
[00:33:15] not because the tools are ineffective,
[00:33:16] just because that's where you're at
[00:33:17] in that stage, that day or that season.
[00:33:20] If while you're doing the experience,
[00:33:22] you're entering a state of true distress
[00:33:24] or terror or panic
[00:33:26] that you are not able to regulate down from,
[00:33:29] that's not corrective.
[00:33:30] That's if you finish that experience
[00:33:33] and then ask yourself,
[00:33:34] am I motivated to try again?
[00:33:35] And the answer is no,
[00:33:36] that was absolutely terrifying.
[00:33:38] I did not feel any lick of empowerment.
[00:33:40] Doesn't mean you can't do that ball,
[00:33:41] it just means we're going to break it down
[00:33:43] into a smaller step.
[00:33:44] Yes, I'm so glad you mentioned that,
[00:33:46] the idea that there's going to be anxiety,
[00:33:48] there's going to be some fear,
[00:33:49] there's going to be uncomfortability,
[00:33:50] because you're shifting something
[00:33:51] that is really scary,
[00:33:52] could be really scary for your body,
[00:33:54] right, your nervous system.
[00:33:56] So yeah, there's going to be that,
[00:33:57] but it doesn't need to be this insane amount
[00:34:00] of fear and anxiety
[00:34:01] and it's just like a horrible experience.
[00:34:04] That's a very big difference.
[00:34:06] Okay, I'm not shifting necessarily a little bit,
[00:34:08] but along this line of,
[00:34:10] I thought about this question,
[00:34:12] can working on yourself actually backfire
[00:34:14] with someone with a higher needs nervous system?
[00:34:17] Like we do too much,
[00:34:18] that's too much for ourselves, too much work.
[00:34:20] Yeah, you mean in terms of the goals that we set?
[00:34:22] Yeah, because, let me all say this too,
[00:34:26] we know a lot of us come with perfectionism tendencies
[00:34:29] and high achievers
[00:34:30] and like wanting to fix it and get better, right?
[00:34:34] And so when we recognize there's some sensitivities,
[00:34:37] at least I've seen this a couple of times
[00:34:39] where people are like,
[00:34:39] okay, well, I'm going to change that, right?
[00:34:41] I'm going to push past it all and make me better, fix it.
[00:34:45] Yep, how does that?
[00:34:46] Yeah, what a cool question.
[00:34:47] Yeah, again, the goal for me is not to eliminate sensitivity,
[00:34:51] it's to eliminate barriers to accessing things you want to do,
[00:34:55] to accessing joy, to accessing relationship.
[00:34:57] So that feels really distinct to me,
[00:34:59] we're not just trying to make it
[00:35:01] so that either your body is not giving you clues,
[00:35:04] sensations, signals, that's not the goal.
[00:35:06] The goal is not to eliminate the clues or signals,
[00:35:08] the goal is definitely not to be able to blow past them again.
[00:35:12] I felt this way when I was first recovering,
[00:35:14] like I want to bring my anxiety down
[00:35:16] so I can go back to pushing myself as hard as I was
[00:35:19] without anxiety.
[00:35:21] Like, well, that's not going to happen
[00:35:23] because the healing is going to require
[00:35:26] that you rid yourself of the mechanisms
[00:35:28] that left you predisposed to all of this.
[00:35:31] And I say all of this with a smile
[00:35:33] only because I've experienced it.
[00:35:35] It is not funny, it's extremely difficult to go through
[00:35:38] and I myself truly did feel
[00:35:40] that that was a viable goal at one point.
[00:35:43] If I can learn to blow past my anxiety,
[00:35:46] I can return to riding myself very hard
[00:35:49] without experiencing anxiety.
[00:35:51] I for one have never a single time
[00:35:54] working with whatever hundreds of patients
[00:35:55] I have never seen anyone accomplish that goal.
[00:35:57] I have seen people hold on to that goal
[00:36:00] and pause the process though.
[00:36:02] I have heard that just for them to feel so upset by the fact
[00:36:05] that they really will have to shift these parts of themselves
[00:36:08] that they just decide they're not ready
[00:36:10] to continue healing right then and there.
[00:36:13] Yes, I'm glad you brought that up.
[00:36:15] That is definitely can be part of the process
[00:36:17] of realizing maybe I don't want to do this right now.
[00:36:20] Everyone has their own timeline.
[00:36:21] And also, I'm glad you mentioned
[00:36:23] it's not about getting back to where you were.
[00:36:26] That's what so many people say
[00:36:27] because yeah, it makes sense.
[00:36:29] You've realized you've tracked over the past few years
[00:36:32] all of a sudden you have all these symptoms
[00:36:33] and you just want to feel like yourself again.
[00:36:36] I want to say though that going through it
[00:36:39] and creating or you can say finding
[00:36:42] but I kind of like the word creating
[00:36:44] this newer version of yourself.
[00:36:46] It's actually way better than the previous version.
[00:36:48] You don't have to go back for everything to be better.
[00:36:52] So we don't realize that which makes sense.
[00:36:54] No.
[00:36:54] You can't realize it right in the middle of it.
[00:36:57] No, I love I'm so glad that you said that
[00:36:59] and you can't imagine if it's a state
[00:37:01] that you've never seen before
[00:37:02] and perfectionism and putting pressure on yourselves
[00:37:05] and all of those personality traits
[00:37:06] that we stack on people like again,
[00:37:08] they're learned, they're adaptive.
[00:37:09] You didn't come into this world saying like
[00:37:11] I'm going to drive myself so hard
[00:37:13] that I pushed myself into chronic symptoms.
[00:37:15] Like nobody does that.
[00:37:16] And yeah, I have this conversation a lot
[00:37:18] and it was huge for me.
[00:37:20] There's something about recognizing
[00:37:22] that we are all pretty much average at most things.
[00:37:27] That is a huge access point to self-compassion
[00:37:31] and a huge challenge for people
[00:37:34] who are used to viewing themselves as exceptional
[00:37:37] and creating exceptional work
[00:37:38] and working exceptionally hard
[00:37:40] and blowing past the needs of your body
[00:37:42] in an exceptional way.
[00:37:43] Like if you are the person who always gets an A plus
[00:37:46] even on an exam that's designed to flunk you
[00:37:49] or you're the one who is the last person
[00:37:51] to leave the office every single day
[00:37:53] and everyone says like, well, you know whoever.
[00:37:56] They got no limit.
[00:37:58] If you're the one who always get whatever it is,
[00:38:00] all the accolades and how do you do all of that
[00:38:03] and all you identify.
[00:38:05] You start to identify with this exceptionalism
[00:38:08] within yourself that I can't necessarily argue
[00:38:12] doesn't come from the way that you push yourself.
[00:38:15] So you have to learn to become more invested
[00:38:17] in your experience of those accolades
[00:38:19] as opposed to the accolades themselves.
[00:38:22] Reading yourself with that exceptionalism is no joke.
[00:38:26] Like I personally think I still have a flourishing life
[00:38:29] and career and it's not that I don't feel successful
[00:38:32] it's just recognizing like every just cool
[00:38:34] like being in them like taking care of myself
[00:38:37] and finding balance which I would actually say
[00:38:39] is a better word than average.
[00:38:41] Finding balance and like letting yourself choose
[00:38:44] I want to really push myself here
[00:38:46] and I don't care all about that other thing
[00:38:48] is so freeing and so joyful.
[00:38:51] Even when you made that change from average to balance
[00:38:55] yeah there's this almost like yeah okay that feels better
[00:38:58] right and I think I'm not totally sure
[00:39:00] but I would kind of assume
[00:39:01] because there's a societal standard around what average is
[00:39:04] and specifically in many societies
[00:39:06] and specifically Western society
[00:39:09] there's this emphasis on succeeding
[00:39:10] and pushing and like don't be average in a way.
[00:39:14] Totally most of us are average
[00:39:16] the bell curve is the biggest in the middle
[00:39:18] and for me when I think of the idea of average
[00:39:20] I also think of just the summation of everything
[00:39:23] that happens in my day and recognizing
[00:39:26] I can't be exceptional at all of them at the same time
[00:39:29] so I love my work
[00:39:32] I do feel like I succeed in it
[00:39:33] I feel great at what I do
[00:39:35] and I love doing it and the people that I help
[00:39:37] so that's like a push point for me
[00:39:39] not the room mom at my kids preschool
[00:39:42] like I show up on the first day
[00:39:43] and I tell the teachers like thank you
[00:39:45] for taking care of my kids
[00:39:46] I appreciate you I love you
[00:39:47] I have such a gift that I get to drop them off here
[00:39:50] I will not be here
[00:39:51] I will not be able to be in two places at once
[00:39:55] for example because that's not as important to me
[00:39:57] making dinner for my kids is important to me
[00:39:59] that's a push point
[00:40:00] like you just make choices
[00:40:01] and recognize you can't be exceptional
[00:40:04] that for me is shedding myself of exceptionalism
[00:40:07] I don't think anyone can do all the things
[00:40:10] all out all the time
[00:40:11] I used to think that
[00:40:12] I burned myself to the ground trying
[00:40:14] that came up for me a lot
[00:40:15] when I just first opened private practice
[00:40:18] and I was listening to like business podcasts
[00:40:20] and building a practice and things like that
[00:40:21] and I remember someone talking about
[00:40:23] you can't have all of your buckets in life
[00:40:26] partnership business social health
[00:40:29] like they will not all be perfect at the same time
[00:40:32] and very similar right
[00:40:33] and we could even talk about that in terms of
[00:40:35] especially when you're in the beginning
[00:40:37] or the middle of your journey with symptoms
[00:40:40] and you might have this like whack-a-mole of symptoms
[00:40:43] like one pops up the other pops up right
[00:40:45] we do kind of have to
[00:40:46] sometimes we work on one
[00:40:47] and then we kind of move to the other
[00:40:49] it's all very similar
[00:40:50] right like every year can always be perfect
[00:40:53] yeah and things heal at different times
[00:40:55] and they should at different times
[00:40:57] so as we're looking at nervous system sensitivity
[00:41:00] really as we're seeing it like as
[00:41:02] okay we didn't use the word power
[00:41:03] but there can be a lot of power in it
[00:41:05] right when you can recognize yourself
[00:41:07] as being tuned in
[00:41:08] and if you like the word tuned in
[00:41:10] instead of sensitive
[00:41:12] sensitive can sometimes come with a
[00:41:14] negative connotation if you will
[00:41:16] I don't think you and I feel that way right now
[00:41:18] but probably have in the past
[00:41:20] totally and then also recognizing
[00:41:22] you don't have to have limits on your whole life
[00:41:24] because you are a little bit more tuned in
[00:41:26] maybe you need a little bit more throughout
[00:41:28] your day to understand that balance
[00:41:30] I think this is just a really powerful
[00:41:32] episode of this thing it's just very needed
[00:41:34] good yeah because it feels so powerful
[00:41:37] when you're living in action
[00:41:39] yeah yeah and I like what you just said very much
[00:41:41] it can be little things throughout the day
[00:41:44] that make a big difference to you
[00:41:46] but it's not like it doesn't actually
[00:41:48] take hours out of your life or drain you
[00:41:51] or make you so different from everyone else
[00:41:54] like if I'm at a party for three hours
[00:41:56] and I'm the only one who needs to step out
[00:41:58] a couple of times to get fresh air and breathe
[00:42:01] no one noticed
[00:42:02] no one else recognized everyone else
[00:42:03] I was at the party
[00:42:04] and I leave feeling like I enjoyed it
[00:42:06] and everyone else feels like I was there
[00:42:08] because it's like drinking water
[00:42:09] you take small sips throughout the day
[00:42:11] to stay hydrated
[00:42:12] you're not just like
[00:42:13] guzzling out of a hose all day
[00:42:15] regulation is small sips throughout the day
[00:42:18] I love that
[00:42:19] okay is there anything else around
[00:42:21] higher needs nervous system
[00:42:22] that you feel like is important
[00:42:23] to note as we're talking here
[00:42:25] I would just ask
[00:42:26] if someone told me this while I was still in pain
[00:42:28] I would my eyes would roll back in my head
[00:42:30] so I welcome all the eye rolls
[00:42:31] but I just really invite patients
[00:42:34] as you are figuring out
[00:42:36] what does it mean for me
[00:42:37] to have long-term maintenance
[00:42:40] of my nervous system
[00:42:41] because the things I did
[00:42:43] to help relieve pressure and pain
[00:42:46] and intensity and anxiety
[00:42:48] while I was in high sensation
[00:42:51] they've changed
[00:42:51] I do different things now
[00:42:53] I don't use somatic tracking every day now
[00:42:56] I don't need to meditate
[00:42:57] on a very strict schedule
[00:42:59] I'm no longer practicing
[00:43:00] graded exposure with my body
[00:43:02] the way I move is different
[00:43:03] and I still move
[00:43:06] I still meditate
[00:43:07] I'm still tuned in
[00:43:08] so it's a long process
[00:43:10] a lifelong process
[00:43:11] of figuring out
[00:43:12] what does my nervous system need today
[00:43:15] in this season
[00:43:17] and can I accept that
[00:43:18] and recognize my joy
[00:43:21] and my comfort
[00:43:22] will be expanded
[00:43:24] if I recognize that these are simply things I need
[00:43:27] I can't solve gravity
[00:43:29] I can't solve my sensitivity
[00:43:32] nor should that necessarily ever be the goal
[00:43:34] love that
[00:43:35] thank you
[00:43:36] it does look different over time
[00:43:38] what you do to help yourself
[00:43:40] your practices
[00:43:41] how you expose yourself
[00:43:43] with your limits
[00:43:44] definitely we're not looking for rigidness
[00:43:47] that's not actually helpful
[00:43:48] yeah
[00:43:49] right
[00:43:50] I agree
[00:43:50] yeah
[00:43:50] but it is important to take that time
[00:43:52] if you need it
[00:43:53] or take that balance
[00:43:54] figure out what that balance is
[00:43:55] absolutely
[00:43:56] all right
[00:43:57] thank you so much Christy
[00:43:58] really appreciate it
[00:43:59] where can people tune in to
[00:44:01] and find you
[00:44:03] thank you
[00:44:03] also Grace this was really fun
[00:44:05] and I really looked forward to it
[00:44:06] and it was just as enjoyable as I imagined
[00:44:08] and people can find me and my team
[00:44:10] at bettermindcenter.com
[00:44:12] and I'm on Instagram
[00:44:14] at better.with.Christy
[00:44:16] thank you
[00:44:17] thank you
[00:44:19] if this podcast means something to you
[00:44:20] it would mean so much to me
[00:44:22] if you could do these couple things
[00:44:24] one
[00:44:24] go to the heal with grace show page
[00:44:26] wherever you listen
[00:44:27] and tap the plus sign
[00:44:28] or click on the follow button
[00:44:29] so you don't miss an episode
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[00:44:33] while you're there
[00:44:34] if you could give a five star review
[00:44:36] so that this podcast can reach more people
[00:44:39] it would mean so much to me
[00:44:40] so I can continue sharing episodes
[00:44:42] that help you
[00:44:43] as well as others
[00:44:44] thanks for listening
[00:44:45] and I hope this brings you hope
[00:44:46] on your journey