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Episode 146

People Pleasing and Chronic Pain: Breaking the Good Girl Pattern

October 13, 2026 · 24 min · Chronic Pain & Symptoms

Show notes

Are you the one who says "I'm happy to help" before you've even checked your calendar? People pleasing and chronic illness are more connected than most of us realize, and in this episode I'm walking you through the overlap.

I call it the good girl pattern. Be nice. Be kind. Don't be too much. Don't have too many feelings. Nobody wrote these rules down for us. We soaked them up from TV, school, church, and family life. And for a lot of us, they stopped being a habit and became an identity.

BUT that pattern is not who you are. It's something you learned to stay accepted. Your nervous system is wired for belonging, so of course it worked. It kept you loved and included. It's also costing you more than you realize.

Every time you override a need, your body notices. Saying yes when you mean no. Smiling through irritation. Scanning the room to make sure everyone else is okay before you even sit down. Each one is a small stress hit, and they stack up over years. Eventually, when you don't say no, your body says it for you → through a migraine, fatigue, gut issues, or pain.

In this episode, I'm sharing how the good girl pattern shows up at work, in relationships, with friends, and around the holidays. I'm also getting honest about my own "I'm fine" era and what changed once I realized I'm a pretty particular introvert who needs a lot of downtime.

You'll also get a few simple practices to start this week. Noticing how often you say sorry. Pausing before your automatic yes. And asking at the end of each day, did that drain me or fill me?

This isn't about blaming your parents or where you grew up. It's about seeing the pattern clearly so your body doesn't have to keep protecting you this way.

Resources mentioned

The "nice, good girl" rules that made so many of us sick
Mind Body Healing Method

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