What is Somatic Intelligence? A Conversation with Sheridan Ruth

[00:00:00] Hello, hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Heal With Grace podcast. How's everybody doing?
[00:00:08] We're like halfway through the year and I think it's really important to check in with ourselves.
[00:00:15] How's your body feeling? That's exactly what we're going to talk about today,
[00:00:19] is what does it mean to actually tune into our bodies? We talk so much about that on this
[00:00:24] podcast but I think it's really important to have someone who's been trained in somatic
[00:00:29] experiencing understands the body-based connection on such a deep level and that is exactly why I
[00:00:35] have our guest today, Sheridan Bruce. She is the best-selling author of somatic intelligence for
[00:00:41] success who helps entrepreneurs build sustainable aligned businesses by merging somatic tools,
[00:00:48] nervous system regulation and strategic planning, overcoming personal trauma including
[00:00:54] complete hair loss to alopecia universalists and the loss of her ex to suicide. Sheridan
[00:01:00] rebuilt her life and business learning firsthand how to transform pain into purpose. Her clients
[00:01:07] often perfectionists or anxious entrepreneurs report breakthroughs in profit, confidence and
[00:01:12] easeful growth. Sheridan's approach is uniquely holistic addressing burnout and self-doubt while
[00:01:18] fostering creativity and impact. You can learn how to combine nervous system wisdom
[00:01:22] with business strategy at www.sheridanruth.com and I think that so much of us even if you don't own
[00:01:31] a business can really resonate with this because most of you are working with burnout and anxiety
[00:01:39] and perfectionism and trying to understand how do we actually tune into our bodies? Without
[00:01:45] further ado, I will let you listen to her instead of me right now. Get cozy and let's go.
[00:01:54] Hey there and welcome to Heal with Grace. I'm your host Grace Secker and I'm a holistic licensed
[00:01:59] therapist and nervous system coach who believes that the chronic and often unseen symptoms
[00:02:04] you're living with are a sign of something deeper going on. A sign that your nervous
[00:02:08] system needs attention. In each episode I'll share the science behind the most common chronic
[00:02:13] health disorders plus holistic health tips using mental, physical and spiritual practices.
[00:02:19] You'll hear what I've learned in my journey and the true stories from our trusted guests
[00:02:23] so you can feel less alone in your experience and give yourself grace no matter what you're
[00:02:28] going through. So without further ado settle in and get cozy. It's time to heal with Grace.
[00:02:35] Hi Sheridan, thank you so much for joining the podcast. I think this is going to be a
[00:02:39] really powerful episode to dive deeper into nervous system regulation and in a different
[00:02:43] way than maybe we talk about it here normally. So thanks for coming on. Yeah thank you for having me.
[00:02:51] Let's just jump right in. First and foremost, tell us a little bit about you and how did you
[00:02:57] come to nervous system regulation and learning about it? Was there a moment? Was there a
[00:03:02] realization? Was there an experience? Tell us more. There were a couple of moments or a
[00:03:06] couple of experiences to be completely honest. A lot of them were pretty painful. So I kind
[00:03:12] of got here out of discomfort. When I was seven years old I lost all of my hair to an
[00:03:17] autoimmune disease that has no cure which kind of laid the foundations for myself seem to be
[00:03:24] pretty low and that low self-esteem meant that I found myself in my like you know really early
[00:03:34] 20s in a relationship that was rough. It was abusive, physically, emotionally, financially,
[00:03:42] sexually. It was just really hard and yoga is what gave me the strength to leave. I kept
[00:03:51] noticing, oh I keep showing up for myself. I just move my body. I do it every single day
[00:03:55] and suddenly I realize that I'm so much more capable and I started understanding this concept
[00:03:59] of oh my thoughts are not facts. Wow interesting okay and so I kind of get this the courage to
[00:04:08] leave and anyone who's been in such a situation like that or I've seen somebody in it knows that
[00:04:14] it's not something that happens overnight. It is a really big kind of you try and then you
[00:04:19] doubt yourself and then you try and then you doubt yourself but anyway I did it. I got through.
[00:04:22] I can tell it story now today with a lot of almost matter of fact but at the time it was
[00:04:30] devastating. A couple of weeks after I left my then ex took his life and I was by myself
[00:04:40] alone in a foreign country really far away from my home and all of the community that I had there
[00:04:47] was related to him and so all of the events that unfolded were something that you would see on a
[00:04:57] telenovela. I find myself even sometimes I'll just mention something and I'm like oh that was
[00:05:02] really not that was really not okay like that was that was insane. It was a moment where I
[00:05:08] kind of got to know like I guess you could call it the dark side of humanity and people
[00:05:14] really close to me and it had hit at this time where I had been studying community development.
[00:05:22] I had been very entrepreneurial my entire time there. I'd also spent a lot of time working with
[00:05:27] NGOs and I just graduated and I was ready to to start working but I was diagnosed with complex
[00:05:37] PTSD and going into work in an office was incredibly difficult. I got a job in finance
[00:05:44] with a company in America and there was a lot of decisions they made
[00:05:53] that made my symptoms worse and I was going to therapy and I was like doing all the things that
[00:06:00] I thought I could do but it was weird because it was like every time I went to speak with this
[00:06:06] just kind of you know therapist I would walk away more anxious. I would feel so anxious so
[00:06:11] uncomfortable and it wasn't until I kind of did this Google search I remember being on my yoga mat
[00:06:18] and like crying it out because yoga was still helping I knew that my like regulating my nervous
[00:06:22] system inside of with practices like that like yoga and breath work and meditation like that was
[00:06:27] that was good but it was like that's not enough I can't live like this all the time
[00:06:32] but going to therapy isn't working so like what the hell do I do and I just started googling
[00:06:37] and I was really lucky I found some amazing practitioners and coaches who work in somatic
[00:06:43] therapies and I started applying that to myself and doing the deeper parts of regulation of actually
[00:06:51] addressing those core wounds paying trauma and reorienting my brain based off of
[00:06:59] what I had experienced which you know we thought it had to do with the events but of course
[00:07:02] it had to do with what happened when I was three years old and seven years old and 16 years old and
[00:07:09] my how I understood life since that and very slowly I got to turn around and be like wow oh my
[00:07:16] gosh I've just created an entire life that I love and then I started coaching and I got exposed
[00:07:23] to the coaching industry which is extremely empowering and also questionable and I had to
[00:07:29] dig deeper into the somatic therapies to be able to build my business online be really successful
[00:07:36] which I was and I'm incredibly grateful that I have been but kind of sought through all of the
[00:07:41] different advice I think it gives you so much advice so I kind of like doubled down again into
[00:07:46] that level of things and that's how my book came up somatic intelligence for success that's
[00:07:51] kind of how that was born yeah I have a similar intro into working with myself yoga was is my first
[00:08:03] really body based practice to get in touch in some way shape or form and love it and always
[00:08:10] will be a foundational practice for me but can you talk about what what was missing from your
[00:08:16] yoga practice from traditional therapy that you found in somatic therapies what was that shift
[00:08:23] I think number one the value that somatic therapies have and I would still say this today
[00:08:31] even though I'm not in a crisis state is that they I've found and a lot of my clients find
[00:08:38] there's a unique entry point where we can go in and decouple yourself from your assumptions about
[00:08:47] the world because we're using and developing so much bodily awareness it gives you a unique
[00:08:59] capacity to not keep believing and assuming that what you're experiencing inside of the way
[00:09:05] you perceive the world is is true so I like to think of it as like your body your nervous system
[00:09:11] let's just say that it has kind of downloads in a way uh an understanding of the world
[00:09:20] and it's utilizing the beliefs that it has about the world the past experiences
[00:09:28] to change the way that your body responds so change how your heartbeat beats the sensations
[00:09:35] that you feel in your body the thoughts that you have the urges and impulses that you have
[00:09:43] and this operating system is literally kind of I hate to I hate to describe it in such kind of
[00:09:49] crude ways but kind of like your system on your phone right and what this means is that we can
[00:09:59] keep working with that system or we can update that system so maybe the system that you needed
[00:10:06] the way that you understand certain sounds or the way that you understand certain people's body
[00:10:10] language or when they do this it when their eye does this and it's so so so below our conscious
[00:10:16] perception when their eye does this I notice there's like a tension in my shoulder when I naturally
[00:10:22] move into the overgiver or the one that wants to take control and care for their emotions
[00:10:28] or if when we slow down and we use somatic therapy we're able to go ah I noticed that I felt
[00:10:38] that when they did that there was something that they did there and I felt my energy move
[00:10:42] up into my shoulder and I noticed that I wanted to move forward oh okay well what does that mean
[00:10:48] and it's particularly when you're working with a practitioner who goes that slow with you and
[00:10:53] is that curious and meticulous with you they're able to say okay okay well hmm I wonder what that
[00:10:59] is the other day I've done this for years and I worked with somebody who has very similar
[00:11:05] uh training to to myself and I received a session for her and we did this release
[00:11:13] and I was like wow it's insane like I forget how powerful this is because literally I kind of went
[00:11:20] in I got like a 10 packet session I was like you're great I want to work with you and
[00:11:27] I kind of went in with like this curriculum and this plan in mind and I was like great
[00:11:32] and then we did two sessions and I and then now I'm like okay cool so like I don't everything I
[00:11:38] thought we were gonna go over I it's we did it now it's like what's next and it's not to say that
[00:11:46] other things can't offer that but a lot of the people find that that those are two unique traits
[00:11:51] that somatic work has it can be faster in some ways because you're slowing down
[00:11:57] and it can really blow open the way that you perceive the world
[00:12:03] that slowing down we talk a lot about here um especially when people are dealing with
[00:12:09] things like chronic illness or pain or symptoms just their bodies burn out in high anxiety we
[00:12:16] can't tune in to understand what's underneath if we don't slow down right and that's so much
[00:12:20] what I appreciate the somatic therapy approach like you said practitioner will
[00:12:26] look at you and be with you and slow your body down I've worked with one before and they
[00:12:32] you know the amount of times where you would look at me and be like slow down slow down right you
[00:12:38] know like let's tune in can you speak to when that might be uncomfortable for someone maybe
[00:12:46] slowing down is almost too much and they don't really know what to do with that or they're
[00:12:49] always antsy or something along those lines like what how would they what would they do
[00:12:54] at that point oh like what would they do if they notice that slowing down is difficult for them
[00:13:00] yeah or how would you approach it do you ever notice this has a lot of people that come into
[00:13:04] this place and they're like oh episode of nervous system regulation I'm gonna regulate my nervous
[00:13:08] system more I'm gonna take that off on like a box I'm gonna like get it right I'm gonna do
[00:13:13] another yin yoga I'm gonna do I'm gonna like I don't know get more b vitamin or take another
[00:13:18] I don't know like very health wellness at the same time it's that same underlying part I had a
[00:13:26] client last week and she kind of came to me and she was struggling because she's at that point I
[00:13:31] noticed every single one of my clients goes through this arch where we do this regulation maybe it's
[00:13:36] a little bit uncomfortable they're like okay I want to do less things I want to rest more
[00:13:41] and I want my business to be successful without me doing so much stuff and it starts to happen
[00:13:45] they start to get what they want and then they're like well now I'm freaking out
[00:13:51] there must be something wrong and say okay kind of reflect back to them well yeah you got everything
[00:14:02] that you wanted inside of the book we have I think it's chapter seven we have something called
[00:14:07] the expansion practice and sometimes the biggest thing that we can do is work with the parts
[00:14:15] of ourselves that don't believe it's possible because underneath the parts of us that are like
[00:14:22] no no no it's not possible that it could be this easy is often a grief all the time as we overworked
[00:14:30] and we didn't need to we hurt ourselves so we didn't need to or our fear because we developed
[00:14:38] like we developed that part of us that wants to move forward and do it perfectly and do it
[00:14:42] right usually quite young and usually in response to either seeking approval or avoiding rejection
[00:14:51] or avoiding some type of discomfort and so we're met with this deep part of ourselves
[00:14:58] that can keep running the show if we let it or not only do we get to start holding it
[00:15:08] and caring for it so that we can feel that oh my god I can finally oh my god I can finally rest
[00:15:13] some of my clients I've heard them describe it as like oh I feel like I'm finally home like
[00:15:19] it's that part of us that's been searching it can kind of go oh my god I've arrived oh my god
[00:15:24] it's okay and then we free up all of this energy to ground so much deeper into the bigger question
[00:15:34] of why why am I here what am I doing because I don't need to pursue work now from a place of achievement
[00:15:44] or running towards something or running away from something what the hell do I care about
[00:15:50] now I have a lot of energy how am I gonna apply it and that's when things get really big and
[00:15:57] beautiful and exciting thank you for walking through that process because you're so right
[00:16:05] so much of the time when we are burnout we don't know what to do anymore because we're working so
[00:16:10] hard our bodies are shutting us down there can be a driver behind it of well we don't know
[00:16:17] anything different right and that's that stress place of the nervous system so kind of to your
[00:16:23] point people can say well just do these things and you'll regulate and you'll feel better
[00:16:27] and then you know everything will it's just it's the answer right to do these things to
[00:16:32] regulate your nervous system but it's less about the things it's more about how are you arriving
[00:16:38] how are you tuning into yourself how are you getting to know yourself so I went I want a little
[00:16:44] bit of a tangent there but what do you think some people get wrong about nervous system
[00:16:49] regulation what's the misinformation out there I think we covered one which is thinking that
[00:16:53] it's all about regulating and it's also all about doing less I think my podcast has an episode on
[00:17:00] like the three things that perfectionists get wrong about rest and a little bit it's like
[00:17:06] there's the classic of like making it a to-do list but now I'm struggling to like pick quite
[00:17:10] out of the blue because there's so many there's that one and there's I think the biggest thing
[00:17:17] that I've noticed lately is not quite understanding that that thing that you're working towards it
[00:17:25] that energy that you have it can be coming oftentimes from a place of looking for validation
[00:17:32] or looking for approval like a pain it can come from pain so no matter how freaking hard you try
[00:17:37] you're always going to be in pain you're always going to be tired what we can do instead
[00:17:43] is hold that part of yourself let it learn to relax and then what happens is then it
[00:17:49] frees up all this energy for you to go and do something constructive and life giving in the world
[00:17:55] there's two types of energy that can run inside of your body one is based off of fear and pain
[00:18:00] when you take action from that place when you believe thoughts from that place
[00:18:03] they will deplete you they will cause tension you will feel this in your body
[00:18:07] you you look at this in your side of your business if you have one
[00:18:11] you won't sign clients it will feel off it will feel like you're forcing
[00:18:15] it will just feel like this isn't quite right nobody will respond you'll get on the sales
[00:18:20] core and they're like oh like I just something isn't I don't know why I just kind of felt like
[00:18:25] say yes but then they'll say no and and you'll know like something was off whereas
[00:18:32] when you're taking action from your true whole core self which is based in love
[00:18:38] confidence clarity and not spiritual bypassed love but just it's almost like unquestionable
[00:18:45] you don't even you don't know when you're doing it because it's so natural for you
[00:18:51] that's when things open up and that's when you achieve that feeling of rest that you want that
[00:18:57] feeling of I'm enough that you want that's when you start that's like that type where you go
[00:19:02] oh like this thing just kind of happened it was like really easy it was just out of the blue
[00:19:05] it was just like this it was just you know everything fell it together and
[00:19:09] ah it just happened the the person I wanted to work with we started working together
[00:19:13] I got an inquiry those things that you do from those places come from flow and what a lot of
[00:19:21] people do is they come to this work and they come to whatever their goal is building a business
[00:19:26] healing their body working out they come from this place of I've got to get it right and so
[00:19:32] from the get go they're off that last part we have to get it right is so essential I mean I'm
[00:19:41] speaking from experience as well as I know many many people listening to this because a lot of us
[00:19:46] have that perfectionistic part we have to get it right part and we've been totally burned out
[00:19:51] because of it and so yeah when we approach our nervous systems or a healing space from that
[00:19:57] place of needing to get it right it doesn't really work necessarily like it's not really
[00:20:04] not going to settle in right so can you speak to that part of okay when you see when you see
[00:20:13] someone approaching it that way of okay I've been doing all these things and I can't seem to get it
[00:20:17] right or what's wrong like what am I missing how am I what do I do here like how would you
[00:20:22] approach them how would you help them it depends if the person is aware that that's actually
[00:20:29] this driving part of themselves or if they think it's themselves
[00:20:35] there's this thing that happens where we might be like oh I'm a perfectionist
[00:20:39] I have one yep she's there I know her but then we still orient to everything that we do from
[00:20:45] this space of what I have to like I couldn't not get I couldn't not do that I couldn't I could I
[00:20:53] don't know give me can you give me like an example of something that you would do or you would see
[00:20:58] that is around perfectionistic yeah so a lot of people listening might have an idea that they
[00:21:08] are but more often than not they don't really see where they're operating from that place from
[00:21:13] perfectionism or like trying to get it right or trying to rush things and make it happen and get
[00:21:18] out like they're just in pain and they're struggling and they're burnout and they just want it to be
[00:21:23] better so why wouldn't they like do all the things right and go through steps a b and c of what
[00:21:29] they've learned online about nervous system regulation so when someone's in that place of
[00:21:34] okay I'm doing the things and I mean I've kind of heard there's this perfectionist
[00:21:39] piece but I don't really know if that's me is that yeah yeah so there's that sentence of that you
[00:21:46] could end which is okay every single time every single action that you're doing right now if you
[00:21:52] don't do it what would you feel we can apply this to our diet we can apply this to our exercise
[00:22:00] routine we can apply this to our work if you if you don't do it what we feel what what would
[00:22:04] happen if you stopped I'm not doing enough I'm not doing enough and then what would have what would
[00:22:09] you feel if you weren't doing enough like a failure but that's not a feeling I would feel disappointed
[00:22:17] shame guilt yeah and then it's we get curious okay well where's that coming from and do you
[00:22:24] want to carry that around and you and you can understand that failure isn't a feeling a lot
[00:22:31] of people are still learning that skill but yeah shame okay so it's driven that action
[00:22:41] that specific action you are doing is driven out of wanting to avoid shame so it is therefore
[00:22:47] in the second category of not based in love and confidence there's nuance around that statement
[00:22:55] but that can kind of tell us okay hmm maybe this is maybe this is not as helpful to me as I think
[00:23:07] because there is this cycle of perfectionism or even that sentence of like failure we kind of
[00:23:14] we end up looking for evidence that we are failing because we're working with the belief
[00:23:17] that we will and so our nervous system our body is filtering for that because it's working from
[00:23:23] I'm I'm actually going to fail so I better get this I'm I better get this right because I am going
[00:23:27] to fail so we start doing those things and then as soon as something doesn't go perfectly we're like
[00:23:33] ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding I'm failing I'm going to fail I'm a failure
[00:23:38] I'm actually wrong I've just confirmed I've confirmed it because this person or this thing
[00:23:45] or I woke up and made this was wrong I've done I'm confirmed it okay now I've got to drive
[00:23:50] even harder to get it right but I'm actually not going to so now I'm exhausted because oh my god
[00:23:55] I never get it right and we're just creating this cycle of dysregulation whereas if we can hold that
[00:24:03] part of ourselves and not take action from it and that doesn't mean letting go of the actions
[00:24:07] that you do it's just doing them with a different felt quality then what we're doing is out of
[00:24:14] genuine care and love and nurturing of ourselves and that feeling tone changes the type of action
[00:24:23] changes the way that you do the action changes the way that your body responds to yourself your
[00:24:27] thoughts the feelings in the world that is regulating yeah that reaction towards that turning
[00:24:33] towards right yeah with that nurturing loving inner adult that we all have that we develop yeah yeah
[00:24:43] yeah beautiful for our listeners who might be new to the term how would you define somatic
[00:24:49] intelligence and its relevance to personal and professional growth I love this so much somatic
[00:24:54] intelligence think of it like emotional intelligence but better we have this understanding
[00:25:02] of emotional intelligence that only came about in 1995 I think so somatic intelligence is a deepening
[00:25:08] of that it is your capacity to align and understand your body's wisdom in your signals
[00:25:18] and then understand what it's communicating and create a life where it thrives but more importantly
[00:25:25] it's your way to get in touch with the way that your body functions at its best especially in relation
[00:25:33] to how it functions in the state of society so we have this cellular intelligence that's running
[00:25:39] through us and it has gifts and skills that only you have like literally you're the only
[00:25:46] person to have them you also have needs and you are the only person to have those specific
[00:25:51] needs in that specific way and if we look at cells how they work on a biological basis and we
[00:25:57] look at the understanding of communities they have two things in common when they follow what is
[00:26:04] true for them they all work well together they work in harmony there's no there's no struggle
[00:26:13] cells work in harmony yes there's disease and decay and sometimes that's part of the cycle
[00:26:19] and that's part of harmony and sometimes it's a sign that there is a external factor or internal
[00:26:25] factor putting them into illness that's a whole different podcast but they have a capacity
[00:26:31] to work in harmony which means that when you get in touch to what your body is experiencing
[00:26:38] how it communicates what it needs the wisdom it has and you act from that place
[00:26:45] you know how to read it knowing how to read it is extremely intelligent not many people do
[00:26:49] because they it's just fear that they're reading as we spoke about with the perfectionist when you
[00:26:56] get in touch with it you take action from that from your place you may not understand it it's
[00:27:00] not going to feel logical at first but you position yourself to be in the place of the
[00:27:07] most health with the most wealth not just money but that true understanding of like abundance and
[00:27:14] I've got everything I need and happiness and success does that resonate with you
[00:27:21] it does I hadn't heard really I mean it makes so much sense right yes we've termed emotional
[00:27:26] intelligence but there's so much more around that body connections the somatic therapies right
[00:27:32] in the mind body connection that yeah somatic intelligence is how do we tune in and read our
[00:27:38] bodies in a way and and get to know that that's exactly what I help and teach clients to do and
[00:27:44] are in the mind body healing method is understanding how to read our own nervous system what
[00:27:50] tells us we're in a certain state and we can only be aware of that if we're tuned in and
[00:27:55] then we can help ourselves shift or change or whatever we need to do or come home to ourselves
[00:27:59] and so that intelligence of the body is so important we've so much of so much of society
[00:28:03] and culture is cut off right we're pretty much taught to be cut off from our bodies and signals
[00:28:08] and to drive in a certain way so I think it's so so so important to share and to understand and to
[00:28:17] yeah bring out to the world so thank you yeah it's a skill that we have to actively learn
[00:28:21] and then actively choose to orient to and sometimes that can be difficult because the
[00:28:25] whole entire world is telling you put your attention either for women a lot of it is put
[00:28:30] your attention into how you need to fix yourself and then it's like put your attention on your phone
[00:28:38] put your attention on all of these things but that skill that interception of what is my body
[00:28:44] telling me I remember when I started nervous system regulation on training she was like
[00:28:50] you have to go to the toilet literally whatever you want to like and I having worked
[00:28:55] since really young had learned no you go to the toilet when you're on your break
[00:29:00] and so even that feeling and I'll have clients who have worked with me before and they have made me
[00:29:05] like vaginismus and kind of things around that and it's okay cool your homework is to go to the
[00:29:11] toilet when you when you need to and they'll be so confused I'm like that's part of regulation
[00:29:16] that's part of tuning in what am I aware of inside of my pelvic floor okay
[00:29:22] okay now I'm okay I need to go to the toilet okay I'm gonna go to the toilet instead of like
[00:29:26] waiting because you can send three more emails yeah it's incredibly incredibly important and
[00:29:32] a radical kind of act to come home to for those who feel disconnected from their bodies
[00:29:41] and don't really know where to start with tuning in like we're talking about
[00:29:46] how do you suggest they begin this journey start with the question what am I aware of
[00:29:50] and look inside of your body and find one thing you're aware of and do that three times a day put
[00:29:55] it on your phone and a lot of people when they feel really disconnected are gonna feel numb
[00:30:01] numbness is aware you are aware of something congratulations you found it
[00:30:06] right down what type of numb if you had to describe it to a friend what would it be like
[00:30:09] would it be I see word it is it like a big wall it is like a wall or is it like is it
[00:30:15] like there's a container is it like is it like heavy like what type of numb and sometimes what you
[00:30:23] are aware of is my hands are cold but just building that pathway of noticing you might you might feel
[00:30:31] disconnected but you're aware of something at the baseline you might even just be aware that
[00:30:36] you feel disconnected so keep looking keep going back and just what am I aware of now
[00:30:42] ah okay what am I aware of now doesn't have to be fancy just what are you aware of
[00:30:51] thank you so so much for that because it doesn't have to be so incredibly complicated or we
[00:30:57] really don't have to go to the depths of trauma just to tune into our bodies right or to help
[00:31:01] ourselves um yeah yeah yeah sometimes it could be easy and fun yeah okay
[00:31:09] okay is there anything around getting in touch with our body somatic therapies that you feel
[00:31:13] like is really important to note before we end here maybe that's it sometimes it can be really fun
[00:31:19] it's not it doesn't have to be a heavy process um I made a really big vow many years ago of
[00:31:27] knowing that there is space and like care for my and my clients tender emotions but also
[00:31:39] it doesn't it doesn't have to be this big awful thing to start going inside even if it feels
[00:31:45] like it has to be we just need to be careful around the way that we go around it and also
[00:31:51] be careful when you're going into things related to shame I see a lot of things on
[00:31:57] the internet and you know exploring that perfectionist
[00:32:00] excited shame is one of is the most dysregulating emotion it will put you into
[00:32:08] a collapse very easily you would have seen this a lot with your clients and there's some advice out
[00:32:14] there um talking about like kind of embodying your shame or like doing embodiment practices
[00:32:22] around shame I always caution to that because that heavy feeling that it has can really pull you
[00:32:30] under and put you into what we would call a functional freeze where you're kind of going
[00:32:35] through the motions because you have to but your whole body actually feels quite in danger
[00:32:42] from this big emotion shame that maybe you felt on Tuesday and now it's Sunday and you
[00:32:46] don't know why you just feel off I always say be really mindful around that and
[00:32:51] work with a practitioner to teach you how to be with those emotions
[00:32:56] not that there's something to be afraid of but your body isn't meant to hold them
[00:33:01] shame is a socialized emotion so we're we're actually supposed to be sharing as how it's
[00:33:06] one of the ways that it heals there are three ways that it heals I think with them
[00:33:09] as like the three C's so try to share that with people thank you for saying that especially
[00:33:17] because so many of our listeners do struggle with fatigue and should that shut down in their
[00:33:21] nervous systems and so it is really important to recognize that yeah we don't it's actually
[00:33:27] it may not actually be safe for your nervous system to go straight into that and hold it on
[00:33:31] your own and it's really important to have that space held by someone that can work with you
[00:33:37] so yeah we often do not have enough capacity to deal with our really big emotions that's why
[00:33:43] we developed all of these interesting coping mechanisms so the the practice is to to share
[00:33:51] that with somebody else so that your body knows oh we have a capacity there's two nervous
[00:33:55] systems here I can look at this I'm not going to die and that is a human trait it is not a flaw
[00:34:02] amazing yeah thank you okay share a little bit about how people can find you and what you're
[00:34:09] offering right now yeah come and find me guys on grace pot graces podcast on my podcast it's
[00:34:16] called sustainable success and we did a really good one that is out I think it's an episode
[00:34:21] number 211 and we spoke it's called the lies of productivity so come and find that sustainable
[00:34:31] success you can also find my book by going on Amazon and searching Sheridan Ruth but if you
[00:34:37] find my podcast first you will be guided to everything else amazing thank you so much
[00:34:42] Sheridan I really appreciate it and we will talk to you soon thank you if this podcast
[00:34:51] means something to you it would mean so much to me if you could do these couple things one
[00:34:55] go to the heal with grace show page wherever you listen and tap the plus sign or click on the
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[00:35:05] could give a five star review so that this podcast can reach more people it would mean so much to me
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[00:35:17] hope this brings you hope on your journey