How I Quietly Dysregulated My Own Nervous System

[00:00:00] Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the Heal with Grace podcast.
[00:00:03] This episode today, I'm going to share with you kind of like I do sometimes, right?
[00:00:08] Behind the scenes a little bit more, but something I've actually recognized in the
[00:00:12] past year or so that I've known, but I didn't.
[00:00:15] You know, when you know something, you kind of have that feeling like I'm
[00:00:18] pretty in tune with my body and with my intuition.
[00:00:21] And so I just kind of knew something was happening, but I didn't really
[00:00:25] want to acknowledge it, right?
[00:00:27] I didn't really want to speak to it or make it.
[00:00:29] I didn't want it to be real to be honest, but as I'm coming around
[00:00:33] and I'm working on not making it all or nothing, I'm leaning into, OK,
[00:00:38] what is this thing that's been in my life that is kind of quietly
[00:00:42] kept me on a little bit of dysregulation in my nervous system?
[00:00:46] I'll just say a little more high alert than I would really want to.
[00:00:49] Freaking me out or crashing me out or like making my body
[00:00:51] have symptoms or anything like that.
[00:00:53] It's just I notice a little level of hypervigilance.
[00:00:56] And that is social media or really actually to make it further,
[00:00:59] not just one platform, not just one thing.
[00:01:02] It's overall being online and being a business owner, to be honest,
[00:01:06] business owner and content creator.
[00:01:07] And so I want to talk to you a little bit about that
[00:01:10] because I know it is a part of our world.
[00:01:12] I am not leaving.
[00:01:13] I'm not getting rid of it.
[00:01:14] I'm not going away.
[00:01:15] I'm here.
[00:01:16] I'm still going to be here because I find so much value in it.
[00:01:20] It's created this community.
[00:01:22] It has provided me so many opportunities.
[00:01:24] I've connected with wonderful colleagues and people that are now
[00:01:27] some of my good friends because of being online and sharing this information.
[00:01:32] And all I want to do is why have a podcast to share this information,
[00:01:35] right, help people know that they can heal.
[00:01:37] I'm not going away.
[00:01:38] I just want to talk about the reality of it and how do we help
[00:01:41] ourselves when this is something that's a part of our life
[00:01:44] and it's not going away.
[00:01:46] And it is really hard to just say, oh, I'm going to do away with it
[00:01:49] and never go online anymore, especially when you do feel isolated
[00:01:53] in your symptoms or maybe you are a business owner or an entrepreneur
[00:01:56] and it's part of your life, part of your business.
[00:01:59] So let's talk about that.
[00:02:00] Let's do it. Let's get into it.
[00:02:03] Hey, there, and welcome to Heal with Grace.
[00:02:05] I'm your host, Grace Secker, and I'm a holistic licensed therapist
[00:02:09] and nervous system coach who believes that the chronic
[00:02:11] and often unseen symptoms you're living with are a sign of something
[00:02:15] deeper going on, a sign that your nervous system needs attention.
[00:02:19] In each episode, I'll share the science behind the most common
[00:02:22] chronic health disorders, plus holistic health tips using mental,
[00:02:26] physical and spiritual practices.
[00:02:28] You'll hear what I've learned in my journey and the true stories
[00:02:31] from our trusted guests so you can feel less alone in your experience
[00:02:35] and give yourself grace no matter what you're going through.
[00:02:38] So without further ado, settle in and get cozy.
[00:02:41] It's time to heal with Grace.
[00:02:44] First and foremost, this is going to be a little side note.
[00:02:48] I'm looking at myself in the video right now and I just want to
[00:02:52] share this little story because it's it made me laugh and it kind of goes
[00:02:56] to show the balance of this life of like understanding health,
[00:03:00] mind, body, being clean and holistically and all this stuff.
[00:03:04] When I was in Bali in December over the holidays,
[00:03:06] I decided to get my hair done. I never do.
[00:03:09] I mean, I get my hair cut, but I haven't colored my hair
[00:03:11] or anything like that in probably like three years or something.
[00:03:14] And when I do, it's very minimal.
[00:03:15] It's like like a balayage highlights or something like that
[00:03:17] just to give some dimension and make me feel a little fresh
[00:03:20] and because coming from the U.S., prices in Bali are incredibly affordable.
[00:03:25] I was like, oh my gosh, this is a great time to get my hair done
[00:03:29] and have it be really affordable.
[00:03:31] Almost half the price that I would have in the U.S.
[00:03:34] And I know there's a lot of like westernized salons there.
[00:03:37] I've seen other people that live there get their hair done look great.
[00:03:40] So I was like, great, no issues.
[00:03:41] So I went I'm sitting here and the reason I'm reminded of this
[00:03:45] is because I'm looking at myself and my hair is a little like grassy
[00:03:50] it is just not what I wanted at all.
[00:03:53] And my partner says it looks fine.
[00:03:55] What does he know?
[00:03:55] I don't know, like any women out there,
[00:03:57] if you could kind of give me some tips or something looks dry.
[00:04:01] It looks brassy.
[00:04:02] I didn't want blonde, by the way.
[00:04:03] I am not a blonde person.
[00:04:04] I like my brunette hair.
[00:04:05] I like highlights.
[00:04:06] I wanted balayage.
[00:04:07] First of all, I did not.
[00:04:09] I got a looks like most of all the all over color, just the top.
[00:04:13] So it's not really highlighted.
[00:04:14] It's just like brighter and now it looks orangy.
[00:04:17] It looks like I usually color it, but then my roots have grown out.
[00:04:20] But I just got it done.
[00:04:21] Anyway, I don't need to go into the details.
[00:04:23] My point being, well, I don't like it.
[00:04:25] It looks like crap.
[00:04:26] And as I was getting it done, I was texting my partner being like,
[00:04:30] I guess what I'm doing?
[00:04:31] I'm getting my hair done because we weren't together that day.
[00:04:33] He replies back with, I think he tried to be teed.
[00:04:36] Like what was the question?
[00:04:37] Like, what are the toxins that go into coloring your hair?
[00:04:41] Because I mean, when we met, I'm the one who got him
[00:04:43] on like natural deodorant and, you know,
[00:04:45] I've taught him a few things like that.
[00:04:47] And he and the chat GB team was like, coloring your hair is like adding
[00:04:52] 10 different aluminum toxic deodorants to your body.
[00:04:57] So there's really no point in going with natural deodorant
[00:05:01] if you're going to color your hair.
[00:05:03] And he screenshot it and send it to me.
[00:05:05] And I was like, yeah, well, we can't all be perfect, right?
[00:05:09] Yeah, let's just, we're not perfect.
[00:05:11] We're never going to eliminate all toxins from our life.
[00:05:14] And as we know here in the mind body world, we don't have to.
[00:05:18] We don't have to.
[00:05:19] Our bodies are amazing and resilient and always want to help us.
[00:05:21] And if we're on top of our emotional, mental, physical regulation,
[00:05:27] our bodies can handle that.
[00:05:28] I just thought it was funny because I went back with, yeah, OK,
[00:05:31] I laughed at it and I was like, I do this once every few years,
[00:05:34] like whatever, but the joke's on me because it looks like crap.
[00:05:36] And I shouldn't have wasted some money and whatever.
[00:05:39] It is what it is.
[00:05:41] It's hair, it'll grow.
[00:05:42] I'll fix it. No big deal.
[00:05:43] It's just a funny anecdote of like, yeah, we can be intentional
[00:05:48] about our life and it's important to what you put in your body,
[00:05:50] what you put on your body, how you think, how you feel, all important.
[00:05:54] And no, we're not perfect.
[00:05:55] And go enjoy some of the things in the modern world in this life.
[00:06:00] Go do it. There's no problem.
[00:06:02] Even if it does turn out like crap.
[00:06:03] All right, that was a little bit longer than maybe it needed to be.
[00:06:06] But there we go. There's that.
[00:06:08] Let's get into today's episode.
[00:06:09] So we're going to talk about how to show up online,
[00:06:12] how to be online, how to engage with the modern online world
[00:06:16] when we're trying to eliminate things from our environment,
[00:06:21] from our self, from our lives that are causing us dysregulation.
[00:06:26] And so I'll say this first is that when you're in the beginning of this journey
[00:06:29] and you're realizing that your nervous system is highly dysregulated,
[00:06:32] maybe you were constantly in symptoms, you're deep in chronic fatigue,
[00:06:35] like you're in the beginning of this, then your job is to be incredibly boundary.
[00:06:40] I mean, if you don't have to, if you don't have a business,
[00:06:43] I would say eliminate social media news.
[00:06:45] Don't watch it. Just don't.
[00:06:46] The only thing you should be online is with the program that you're in,
[00:06:49] with the tools you're learning, your therapist, your coach that's helping you.
[00:06:52] That's when you should be on a screen and online.
[00:06:54] Now, we don't want to be afraid of screens.
[00:06:56] Screens are totally OK and should not be something that you can't handle.
[00:07:00] But especially in the beginning,
[00:07:02] you need to be more boundary and more highly specific
[00:07:06] with where you put your time and energy.
[00:07:08] Again, you're not perfect.
[00:07:09] It's not always going to go exactly according to plan, but just know that, OK?
[00:07:13] So I'll share a little bit about what I noticed for myself over the past year.
[00:07:17] So even though I teach nervous system regulation
[00:07:20] and even though I guide people towards slowness and safety,
[00:07:22] there really just was this place where I noticed I was showing up every day.
[00:07:28] And don't get me wrong, I do have boundaries.
[00:07:30] I have up until now, I always have.
[00:07:33] Well, maybe not in the very beginning like years ago, but I never.
[00:07:37] And when I say never, this is a really strong boundary for me
[00:07:40] because I just it doesn't feel good.
[00:07:41] I don't like it.
[00:07:42] I do not get online when I wake up within the first hour.
[00:07:46] To be honest, a couple hours probably based on my routine.
[00:07:49] I do not engage online.
[00:07:50] I do not get on social media.
[00:07:52] I don't read the news.
[00:07:53] I don't look at my email.
[00:07:55] I don't do anything in the beginning.
[00:07:56] And then I'm very specific about cutting it off
[00:07:59] a minimum an hour before I go to sleep.
[00:08:01] So those are two things I don't change.
[00:08:03] I've always done that. That's what I do.
[00:08:05] Now, within those hours, which obviously is in a lot of hours
[00:08:07] throughout the day, I noticed myself getting really hyper fixated
[00:08:11] on always checking and like I noticed my behaviors, my mechanism
[00:08:15] and would always go to grab my phone.
[00:08:17] Like even in between sessions, I'm getting off of the session
[00:08:19] and by the way, never have my phone there ever.
[00:08:21] But, you know, when you're I don't know, you take a pause
[00:08:24] or you get to a stop light or something.
[00:08:26] I noticed I'm always going up and I'm clicking on the app.
[00:08:29] And that is not how I like to live.
[00:08:32] That's not how I like to treat my body and my mind
[00:08:34] to my nervous system.
[00:08:35] I mean, that's not what I teach, but I started to notice it
[00:08:37] creeping in time and time again, checking messages, checking
[00:08:40] engagement, wondering if something had landed.
[00:08:42] Did a piece of content I created helped you?
[00:08:45] Did y'all like it?
[00:08:46] Did you not like it?
[00:08:47] How did my podcast do?
[00:08:49] It's nothing crazy, dramatic.
[00:08:50] It's just this like constant low level activation.
[00:08:54] And any business owner or an entrepreneur, I'm sure
[00:08:56] you can resonate.
[00:08:57] And this is why I think this episode is really important
[00:09:00] for you too, for you specifically, but for anyone that's
[00:09:04] on any kind of online social media, it doesn't have
[00:09:06] to be social media.
[00:09:07] It can be a news app or something that you're just
[00:09:10] constantly checking your email, whatever it is, right?
[00:09:13] Even text messages.
[00:09:14] Are you anxious that you didn't get back to someone
[00:09:17] in a certain amount of time?
[00:09:18] Whatever it is, if you are constantly your nervous
[00:09:21] system is on alert, questioning and always picking
[00:09:24] up what's happening.
[00:09:25] There was a part of me that felt like I couldn't
[00:09:27] really stop it.
[00:09:29] Like if I slowed down too much, I'd fall behind or
[00:09:31] I'd fail or I'd let people down.
[00:09:33] That's not a regulated nervous system, right?
[00:09:36] That's a nervous system trying to stay safe through
[00:09:39] vigilance.
[00:09:40] And what made this hard to see at first is that it all
[00:09:43] looked productive, right?
[00:09:44] Helpful even.
[00:09:46] I'm helping people.
[00:09:46] I'm sharing this information.
[00:09:48] I'm growing my business.
[00:09:49] I'm, it's all in the name of good, which I mean, it
[00:09:52] is, I'm not discounting that.
[00:09:54] But when I started to ask myself a different question,
[00:09:57] I asked myself, like, what does my body feel like
[00:09:59] every time I grab my phone or after I create
[00:10:02] or consume something instead of is this good
[00:10:05] content, am I missing something?
[00:10:07] I've always been pretty boundaryed with how much.
[00:10:11] So I know myself well, and if I'm just scrolling and it
[00:10:14] goes on for longer than five or 10 minutes, it
[00:10:16] doesn't feel good.
[00:10:17] Now, I started to realize that I was pushing
[00:10:20] past that limit.
[00:10:21] I've known that limit very clearly for a long
[00:10:23] time of I just don't, I don't do that.
[00:10:25] I don't scroll for endlessly hours on end or
[00:10:28] even an hour, but I started to.
[00:10:30] And even if it was funny content, even if it
[00:10:33] wasn't making me feel bad in terms of comparison
[00:10:35] or whatever, I still just didn't feel very good.
[00:10:38] I was just numbing out and kind of just, like,
[00:10:41] completely dismissing myself.
[00:10:43] Hey, friends, it's Grace.
[00:10:45] If you feel like you've been doing all of the
[00:10:47] treatment protocols and all the different
[00:10:48] modalities to heal and you're still not feeling
[00:10:51] better and it's just kind of managing things, I'm
[00:10:54] here to talk to you for a second.
[00:10:55] So it's not because you're doing it wrong or
[00:10:58] you just haven't found the answer yet.
[00:11:00] It's truly because your nervous system and brain
[00:11:02] are still operating in protection mode.
[00:11:05] And your nervous system and brain, when it
[00:11:08] perceives danger, physical or emotional danger,
[00:11:11] and even just ongoing stress, it keeps your body
[00:11:13] on high alert.
[00:11:14] So none of those treatment modalities are
[00:11:17] actually going to stick or work until you work
[00:11:19] with the bottom line, which is your brain
[00:11:21] and nervous system.
[00:11:22] Because when you're in the danger mode state,
[00:11:24] your digestion, immune system, hormones and
[00:11:27] pain signals all get affected.
[00:11:29] It's like trying to heal while the alarm
[00:11:31] bells are still ringing in the background.
[00:11:34] And that is why so many people get stuck.
[00:11:36] You can do all of the treatment things you want,
[00:11:39] but if your system isn't regulated, your
[00:11:41] body can't access its natural healing state.
[00:11:44] This is exactly why I created my four month
[00:11:48] signature program, the mind, body healing method.
[00:11:51] It's a step by step process that helps
[00:11:53] you calm your system, rewire old stress
[00:11:55] patterns and retrain your brain to feel
[00:11:57] safe again so you can finally start to heal
[00:12:00] for good chronic pain and illness.
[00:12:02] This is a true recovery program, not just management.
[00:12:05] You'll get guided lessons, nervous system
[00:12:07] practices, live support, individual and group
[00:12:10] support and a community that actually
[00:12:12] understands what you're going through.
[00:12:15] Enrollment is now open so you can find
[00:12:17] the link below in the show notes or go
[00:12:20] to elevatetherapywellness.com slash
[00:12:22] mind, body healing method because until
[00:12:25] your brain and body feel safe, no protocol
[00:12:27] or treatment plan will actually work.
[00:12:30] When your nervous system works, everything
[00:12:33] starts to heal.
[00:12:34] So when I slowed down enough to notice
[00:12:37] this and the answer mattered way more
[00:12:40] than I kind of realized.
[00:12:42] I realized that some content, even
[00:12:44] things I agree with, left me feeling
[00:12:46] keyed up, restless, like my system
[00:12:48] wanted more or, oh my gosh, I need
[00:12:50] to find the next best thing.
[00:12:51] And I recognized I didn't have the
[00:12:54] attention span to listen to longer
[00:12:56] content, like a longer podcast I could
[00:12:58] never get through or a YouTube video
[00:13:01] from people that I love to follow and
[00:13:02] watch. I wasn't watching all of it.
[00:13:04] I'd get like halfway through maybe and
[00:13:06] they just, it would go away.
[00:13:08] I would never finish.
[00:13:09] And I then started to realize I almost
[00:13:11] became numb to the short stuff.
[00:13:13] I was like, this doesn't feel good anymore.
[00:13:15] It made me feel bleh, like nothing
[00:13:18] was really landing with me.
[00:13:20] Even pieces of content, even helpful
[00:13:22] information that I really love to learn
[00:13:24] from people. I became numb.
[00:13:26] I became numb to learning, essentially.
[00:13:28] Oh, that's, that's what it is.
[00:13:29] I say this out loud.
[00:13:30] I became numb to learning.
[00:13:32] And that's not me.
[00:13:34] I mean, I love to learn.
[00:13:36] I love to understand and teach myself
[00:13:38] stuff and understand from other people.
[00:13:40] But I became very jaded.
[00:13:41] And that's when it clicked.
[00:13:44] It's just, it's not like I was
[00:13:45] necessarily doing anything wrong.
[00:13:46] It's just that I was living inside
[00:13:48] a pace that quietly trained my
[00:13:49] nervous system to expect this urgency
[00:13:51] or expect novelty or newness
[00:13:53] that I couldn't really get to.
[00:13:56] What I've really realized and what,
[00:13:57] to be honest, I've heard some other
[00:13:58] people talk about, too, in the online
[00:14:00] space is that fast content
[00:14:02] teaches us something without ever
[00:14:04] saying it out loud.
[00:14:05] And it teaches us that if it's not
[00:14:06] quick, we don't want it.
[00:14:08] If it doesn't land immediately,
[00:14:09] it's not useful.
[00:14:11] If relief doesn't come fast,
[00:14:12] something must be wrong.
[00:14:14] And that belief seeps into healing.
[00:14:16] Right? So far more often
[00:14:19] nowadays than I used to in the
[00:14:20] beginning of my therapy practice,
[00:14:23] there's so many more people reaching
[00:14:24] out saying, I tried this, it didn't
[00:14:26] work. I tried this, it didn't work.
[00:14:27] I'm this isn't shifting for me.
[00:14:30] I've been in my symptoms and I
[00:14:31] started learning about nervous
[00:14:32] system stuff and it's not working.
[00:14:33] And then I'll ask how long have
[00:14:34] you been doing this?
[00:14:35] And some are even like a couple
[00:14:36] weeks or some are like a few months.
[00:14:38] And that's not a lot of time
[00:14:40] when your nervous system and stuck
[00:14:41] in hypervigilance for years,
[00:14:43] a few weeks or even a few months
[00:14:45] is nothing.
[00:14:46] But we're so quick to
[00:14:48] have quick fixes, which
[00:14:51] I will understand that.
[00:14:52] I do. Of course you do.
[00:14:54] When you are feeling like absolute
[00:14:56] shit, of course you want
[00:14:58] something to feel better soon.
[00:15:00] But that's not how our nervous
[00:15:02] systems work. That's not how we
[00:15:04] shift. And so I start to
[00:15:06] hear people a lot.
[00:15:07] A lot of my clients, a lot of
[00:15:09] myself said this, you know, often
[00:15:11] is I understand this intellectually.
[00:15:13] I'm grasping what things are
[00:15:15] saying, but my body isn't changing.
[00:15:17] It's not because they're not
[00:15:18] doing the work. It's just because
[00:15:20] your nervous system has been trying
[00:15:21] to expect quick relief instead
[00:15:23] of learning how to tolerate the
[00:15:24] slower middle part of healing
[00:15:26] or anything really.
[00:15:28] Healing doesn't happen in
[00:15:30] a night or a week.
[00:15:32] It happens and the repetition of
[00:15:33] things in the return and
[00:15:35] in the moments where nothing
[00:15:36] flashy is happening.
[00:15:37] So much of nervous system
[00:15:39] regulation is expanding our
[00:15:41] tolerance for heart emotions
[00:15:43] for experiences that we never
[00:15:45] learned how to deal with that
[00:15:46] are difficult. When we don't do
[00:15:48] that, it keeps us moving,
[00:15:49] searching, consuming, right?
[00:15:50] Because we aren't comfortable
[00:15:51] sitting with ourselves.
[00:15:52] So every time, and I'm doing it
[00:15:54] right now, if you're not watching
[00:15:55] my video, my phone, I grab my
[00:15:56] phone, right? Every single time
[00:15:58] it's a habit. Part of it is 100
[00:16:00] percent a habit. And part of it is
[00:16:02] because we have gotten out of
[00:16:04] the place of being able to
[00:16:06] just be. Can you finish a
[00:16:08] call or finish a conversation?
[00:16:10] Or can you be on a car
[00:16:12] ride without picking up your
[00:16:14] phone every few seconds?
[00:16:15] Because that's just a habit and
[00:16:17] you don't know what else to do
[00:16:18] with your hands or you don't know
[00:16:19] how to just sit there.
[00:16:20] So that is something I am
[00:16:22] hyper aware of and really want
[00:16:24] to shift within myself and
[00:16:27] really help you understand too.
[00:16:28] This is the nuance of
[00:16:30] regulation. So when people ask
[00:16:31] me, like, what do I do?
[00:16:33] Honestly, this is a big part of
[00:16:34] it, even though it may not
[00:16:36] have to do immediately with
[00:16:37] symptoms. I'm not telling you
[00:16:38] how to treat a symptom right
[00:16:40] now. I'm telling you how to
[00:16:41] treat your nervous system, how
[00:16:43] to help your nervous system
[00:16:44] get out of this pattern of
[00:16:46] hypervigilance and one into
[00:16:49] I can be here and not have
[00:16:52] to look at something, not have
[00:16:54] to think about something, not
[00:16:56] have to check something.
[00:16:58] And I want to make sure you
[00:16:59] understand this that, well, I
[00:17:01] just want to make sure I'm
[00:17:01] getting this across that it's
[00:17:03] not because social media is
[00:17:04] bad. It's not because quick
[00:17:06] content is evil or you
[00:17:09] should never watch anything
[00:17:10] online again. It's just
[00:17:12] because your nervous system
[00:17:15] is asking for something slower.
[00:17:16] That's where it heals the
[00:17:18] fast paced quickness always
[00:17:20] going and moving and checking
[00:17:22] messages and replying. And we
[00:17:24] are now expecting quick, quick
[00:17:27] responses because of the
[00:17:29] nature that we can. We're all
[00:17:30] connected, which again is so
[00:17:32] wonderful. There's so many
[00:17:34] people in my community and
[00:17:36] you listening to this and in
[00:17:37] my program and in my
[00:17:38] practice and who I coach that
[00:17:40] never would feel better if
[00:17:41] it weren't for the Internet
[00:17:43] because maybe they're in a
[00:17:44] town where they don't have
[00:17:45] access to any of this or it
[00:17:47] doesn't matter town or city.
[00:17:48] Obviously this information, the
[00:17:49] mind, body work is, you know,
[00:17:51] we're working on getting it
[00:17:52] out there, but it is not like
[00:17:54] widespread. But that's the
[00:17:55] power of the Internet. That
[00:17:57] is the power of social media,
[00:17:58] the power of the news.
[00:18:00] It's fantastic. So I'm so
[00:18:02] grateful for it. I mean, as I
[00:18:04] sit here and say that, it
[00:18:05] actually, yeah, it makes me
[00:18:06] feel really just warm and
[00:18:08] grateful that this can
[00:18:09] happen. And let's look at
[00:18:11] how we as humans take it
[00:18:14] on and how it can impact us
[00:18:17] in a negative way, not just
[00:18:18] positive. So that's what I'm
[00:18:20] offering here. Let's look at
[00:18:21] this. Let's shift things. What
[00:18:23] I am working on this year is
[00:18:25] allowing more space with
[00:18:27] integrity, like true integrity,
[00:18:29] knowing that if I don't check
[00:18:30] something right away, it will
[00:18:31] be okay. If I don't respond
[00:18:33] to someone, by the way, if
[00:18:34] you're waiting for a
[00:18:35] response from me, I'm here.
[00:18:36] Don't worry, I'm not going
[00:18:37] away. I'll respond. And I
[00:18:39] mean, to be honest, like,
[00:18:40] not like it's taking me a
[00:18:41] week or anything or even a
[00:18:42] few days. Like, yeah, I'm
[00:18:43] pretty quick. But I am trying
[00:18:44] to look at this in a way of
[00:18:46] how can I start to shift
[00:18:47] this so that it shifts in my
[00:18:48] body. And so you start to
[00:18:50] feel that and you can shift
[00:18:51] it within your body. Just
[00:18:53] check yourself. Every time your
[00:18:54] hand goes to grab your phone,
[00:18:56] every time you go click that
[00:18:57] app, just pause before you do
[00:18:58] it. Take some breaths, see
[00:19:00] what that's like. Check in
[00:19:01] with yourself. If you're in
[00:19:03] my work, this is your time to
[00:19:05] check your levels of your
[00:19:06] nervous system within the
[00:19:07] graph that I teach you and
[00:19:08] how to do that, and then
[00:19:09] move on and check it if
[00:19:10] you'd like. Now one other
[00:19:12] thing here I wanted to let you
[00:19:13] know is that this is actually
[00:19:15] why I started writing on
[00:19:17] Substack. It is a new
[00:19:18] platform. And yes, it's a new
[00:19:20] form of being online, right?
[00:19:22] I'm not going to discount
[00:19:23] that. I'm not saying it's some
[00:19:24] magic bullet that's
[00:19:25] different. I mean, it is
[00:19:26] different, at least for me and
[00:19:27] how I'm approaching it. It's
[00:19:29] a different pace. It is
[00:19:30] longer form content. So
[00:19:32] right, like, I actually used
[00:19:34] to really like writing and
[00:19:35] I haven't done that in a
[00:19:35] long time. So I'm going to
[00:19:37] start writing more. I'm
[00:19:38] going to start giving you
[00:19:39] the tools that I talk to
[00:19:40] you here on the podcast.
[00:19:42] I'm going to start sharing
[00:19:43] them in my sub stack on a
[00:19:45] deeper level. Like I'm going to
[00:19:46] start teaching you some things
[00:19:48] that I teach some of my
[00:19:49] students in my program. And
[00:19:51] I'm also going to treat it a
[00:19:52] little bit more personally,
[00:19:53] like a little bit more of
[00:19:54] kind of like today, how I
[00:19:56] reflected more on what's
[00:19:57] going on in my life and how
[00:19:58] I learned about it and what
[00:19:59] I'm doing to help myself from
[00:20:00] a nervous system level so
[00:20:01] that you can also do that as
[00:20:03] well. So I am just
[00:20:05] announcing that to say I
[00:20:06] hope that you join me over
[00:20:07] there. The link will be
[00:20:08] below to join the sub
[00:20:09] stack. The podcast will
[00:20:10] stay here and this stays a
[00:20:12] place to reflect and explore
[00:20:14] and connect and have those
[00:20:15] experts on that can really
[00:20:16] help you understand things
[00:20:17] that I can't give to you.
[00:20:18] That's why I love the
[00:20:19] podcast. It brings on guests
[00:20:21] that I never knew I could
[00:20:23] connect with. And again, the
[00:20:24] power of the internet of
[00:20:26] podcasting, the sub stack is
[00:20:28] where I'm going to share
[00:20:29] with you the how how to do
[00:20:31] the things I'm talking about
[00:20:32] on the podcast. So like
[00:20:34] for example, when I first
[00:20:36] post was how to tell when
[00:20:37] content is regulating versus
[00:20:39] stimulating your nervous
[00:20:40] system and how to consume
[00:20:42] that content, especially
[00:20:44] healing content, right? So we
[00:20:45] want to consume healing
[00:20:46] content without turning it
[00:20:47] into another task or of how
[00:20:49] to perform and then also how
[00:20:51] to work with information in
[00:20:52] a way that actually helps
[00:20:53] your system settle instead
[00:20:55] of spend. So think of it as
[00:20:56] like a quieter room that you
[00:20:58] step into after this
[00:20:59] conversation ends, not
[00:21:01] louder, not more just
[00:21:02] deeper. So if this
[00:21:04] resonates with you, I wrote
[00:21:05] my first sub stack post
[00:21:07] that goes deeper into this
[00:21:08] exact podcast about how to do
[00:21:10] what I'm telling you, how to
[00:21:12] treat online in a different
[00:21:13] space. So it doesn't
[00:21:14] dysregulate you even in a
[00:21:16] really subtle way. It happens
[00:21:17] so subtly. And I share what I
[00:21:19] had to change what I now
[00:21:20] pay attention to and how I
[00:21:22] recommend working with
[00:21:23] content if you actually want
[00:21:24] it to support your nervous
[00:21:25] system. So you can access
[00:21:27] it via the link below. If
[00:21:29] you want to go deeper and
[00:21:30] reflections, you can
[00:21:31] subscribe, you can see it
[00:21:33] initially for free and then
[00:21:34] you could send I'm sorry, I
[00:21:35] cannot talk and then you
[00:21:36] can subscribe there. And
[00:21:37] there's also what I included
[00:21:39] in the first post a free
[00:21:40] nervous system workbook if you
[00:21:41] haven't downloaded that yet.
[00:21:42] And it's something that I
[00:21:43] just uploaded with a guided
[00:21:44] audio and a meditation link
[00:21:46] there so that you can learn
[00:21:47] your specific nervous
[00:21:49] system signals. That is
[00:21:51] what I want you to
[00:21:52] understand your signals so
[00:21:54] you can help yourself.
[00:21:55] All right, remember, you
[00:21:56] do not need to heal faster.
[00:21:58] You don't need to consume
[00:21:59] more. You don't need to
[00:22:00] get this perfectly right all
[00:22:02] the time. Sometimes the
[00:22:03] most healing thing we can
[00:22:05] do is admit when
[00:22:06] something that looks helpful
[00:22:07] isn't actually helping our
[00:22:09] nervous system. I'm really
[00:22:10] glad you're here. And if
[00:22:11] sub step feels like the
[00:22:13] right next step, I will
[00:22:14] meet you there. Keep healing
[00:22:16] with grace and I'll talk to
[00:22:17] you next time. If this
[00:22:19] podcast means something to
[00:22:20] you, it would mean so much
[00:22:22] to me if you could do these
[00:22:23] couple things. One, go to
[00:22:25] the heal with grace show
[00:22:26] page wherever you listen
[00:22:27] and tap the plus sign or
[00:22:29] click on the follow button
[00:22:30] so you don't miss an
[00:22:31] episode. It helps both of us
[00:22:32] out. While you're there,
[00:22:34] if you could give a five
[00:22:35] star review so that this
[00:22:37] podcast can reach more
[00:22:38] people, it would mean so
[00:22:40] much to me so I can continue
[00:22:41] sharing episodes that help
[00:22:42] you as well as others.
[00:22:45] Thanks for listening and I
[00:22:46] hope this brings you hope on
[00:22:47] your journey.