How To Heal Chronic Symptoms: 5 Phases That Actually Work

[00:00:00] If your brain is stuck in a threat loop,
[00:00:01] if that's been telling your body for years
[00:00:04] that something is wrong, something is dangerous,
[00:00:06] something is going to hurt you,
[00:00:08] then no amount of breath work or somatic exercises
[00:00:11] or walking in the forest is really going to help you.
[00:00:15] I talk to people a lot who've been through somatic therapy,
[00:00:18] which is amazing.
[00:00:19] I'm a somatic therapist, it's wonderful,
[00:00:21] and it's learning how to attune to your body and be with.
[00:00:25] But if we aren't also rewiring the brain's understanding
[00:00:29] of response to pain and illness,
[00:00:32] then there may not be a lot of decrease in your symptoms
[00:00:35] because the body can't soften
[00:00:37] when the brain is still sounding the alarm.
[00:00:39] Hey there, and welcome to the Heal With Grace podcast.
[00:00:43] I'm your host, Grace Secker,
[00:00:45] and I'm a holistic licensed therapist
[00:00:47] and nervous system coach who believes
[00:00:49] that the chronic and often unseen symptoms
[00:00:52] you're living with are a sign of something deeper going on.
[00:00:56] A sign that your nervous system needs attention.
[00:00:59] In each episode, I'll share the science
[00:01:01] behind the most common chronic health disorders
[00:01:04] plus holistic tips using mental, physical,
[00:01:06] and spiritual practices.
[00:01:08] You'll hear what I've learned in my journey
[00:01:09] and the true stories from our trusted guests
[00:01:12] so you can feel less alone in your experience
[00:01:15] and give yourself grace no matter what you're going through.
[00:01:18] So without further ado, settle in and get cozy.
[00:01:20] It's time to Heal With Grace.
[00:01:22] Hello, hello, welcome back to the Heal With Grace podcast.
[00:01:27] Thank you for being here.
[00:01:29] Thank you for being a listener.
[00:01:30] Truly, if you've been on this journey with me
[00:01:32] on this podcast, since I started and you're an OG,
[00:01:36] wow, amazing.
[00:01:38] I am in year three, which is so crazy to say,
[00:01:41] of the podcast and I love it.
[00:01:44] It's a lot of work, but I love it
[00:01:46] and I love sharing all the tips and tricks
[00:01:48] and everything with you
[00:01:49] because I feel like, I mean, I know in my journey
[00:01:53] I really just, I needed to hear the ins and outs, right?
[00:01:56] I needed to hear like the behind the scenes
[00:01:58] of how someone was working through this
[00:02:00] and how to help myself and what to do, right?
[00:02:03] I didn't have this.
[00:02:05] None of this world was not as big as it is now.
[00:02:07] And when I was going through my healing journey,
[00:02:09] and by the way, if you're new to this world, welcome.
[00:02:12] It's wonderful.
[00:02:13] It's so supportive.
[00:02:15] There's so many resources out there now
[00:02:17] to help you heal mind body,
[00:02:19] to help you understand how your symptoms
[00:02:22] are related to your nervous system.
[00:02:24] Actually, not just related,
[00:02:26] but caused by your brain nervous system response.
[00:02:29] And I'm gonna dive deep with you today
[00:02:32] and to understand how to do that, right?
[00:02:35] Like everyone's like, yeah, okay,
[00:02:36] regulate your nervous system,
[00:02:38] but like what does that actually mean?
[00:02:39] How do we do that?
[00:02:41] And if you just attended my free masterclass last week,
[00:02:45] how to know if your nervous system
[00:02:47] is behind your symptoms,
[00:02:48] this is that kind of step two
[00:02:50] and exactly what I help people with.
[00:02:52] This is literally the outline of how I help people
[00:02:55] and what I take them through
[00:02:56] and then how to teach them to help themselves.
[00:02:59] My whole goal whenever I help someone,
[00:03:01] and honestly, like the whole goal
[00:03:03] of the mind body journey is to have trust within yourself
[00:03:07] and learn how to help your body be its own healer.
[00:03:12] And I'm not saying that we just tell you what to do
[00:03:14] and you like go in the forest and just meditate
[00:03:16] and it comes.
[00:03:18] No, we all need support and teachers
[00:03:20] and mentors and education
[00:03:21] and tools and things along the way.
[00:03:24] But it's not about me telling you what to do
[00:03:26] and I'm gonna fix you and change you.
[00:03:29] That's the medical model.
[00:03:30] That is the traditional medical model.
[00:03:32] That is what is really
[00:03:34] how you've probably understood your health until today.
[00:03:38] And so what I help you do
[00:03:41] and what this work, the mind body work helps you do,
[00:03:45] specifically my program,
[00:03:46] the mind body healing method program,
[00:03:48] my whole goal is to help you be your own best healer,
[00:03:53] your own best teacher,
[00:03:54] have a different relationship to your body,
[00:03:56] to your symptoms so that you can feel more aligned,
[00:03:59] more present in your life,
[00:04:00] happy in your life,
[00:04:02] connected to the people and your values,
[00:04:04] really understand your values and live in alignment.
[00:04:08] That is the beautiful wisdom underneath this whole journey.
[00:04:12] So if you're like, yeah, I wanna learn how to do that.
[00:04:15] Okay, this episode is exactly why,
[00:04:18] this episode is for you
[00:04:19] and it's exactly why I created it.
[00:04:21] So let's get into it.
[00:04:24] First and foremost,
[00:04:26] if we had this conversation eight years ago,
[00:04:29] you would have been talking
[00:04:30] to a very different version of me.
[00:04:32] I was that person going to a million different doctors
[00:04:35] appointments throughout the week.
[00:04:37] Every different type of holistic practitioner,
[00:04:39] integrative doctor, functional doctor, PT, body worker,
[00:04:43] every protocol, I was the one with all the notes
[00:04:47] and all the frustrations,
[00:04:49] leaving the doctor's appointments crying
[00:04:51] because I was overwhelmed.
[00:04:53] I didn't actually really understand what they were saying
[00:04:55] because when I was in there,
[00:04:56] I was so frozen in my own body and in my own brain
[00:04:59] that I couldn't even take in what they were telling me.
[00:05:01] And I mean, I have so many memories sitting in my car
[00:05:04] after an appointment just sobbing
[00:05:05] and being like, I don't even know what to do.
[00:05:07] And then I would crash and I'd feel like shit
[00:05:10] and I would just repeat the cycle every single week.
[00:05:12] There was a moment,
[00:05:14] and if you've been at this awhile,
[00:05:15] I'm guessing you've had your own version of it
[00:05:17] where I sat there with another normal looking lab
[00:05:21] or another million different functional labs
[00:05:23] telling me I had some sort of dysregulation
[00:05:26] on in my body with some proper minerals or toxins or mold
[00:05:31] and another expert telling me,
[00:05:34] this is what you need to do with this supplement protocol,
[00:05:37] this detox protocol,
[00:05:38] or hey, we don't actually see that much on this scan.
[00:05:41] So I don't really know how to help you.
[00:05:43] I had that moment of like,
[00:05:44] well, am I just gonna be on this hamster wheel
[00:05:46] the rest of my life?
[00:05:48] At one point I kind of accepted it.
[00:05:49] I was like, I guess this is just my sensitive body.
[00:05:51] I just kind of have to live in a bubble.
[00:05:53] I literally told myself, I guess that like,
[00:05:55] this is just gonna be my life.
[00:05:56] I'm more homebound and I can't really do a lot.
[00:05:58] I can't go anywhere because I react to everything.
[00:06:01] And if that's you, if you resonate with this,
[00:06:03] I just want you to know, I feel for you.
[00:06:05] And you're doing an amazing thing
[00:06:07] because you're listening to this podcast
[00:06:10] because you have little antennas going up
[00:06:12] and you're like, no, this isn't, this can't be it, right?
[00:06:14] And you're wanting to learn more
[00:06:16] of how to get out of that space.
[00:06:17] So yay, that's amazing.
[00:06:19] Keep doing that, keep listening to this.
[00:06:21] So what I wanna teach you today
[00:06:24] is what does it actually look like
[00:06:27] to help your body get out of the patterns
[00:06:29] of pain and illness?
[00:06:31] What does it actually look like
[00:06:32] to say, heal mind body, regulate nervous system,
[00:06:36] retrain your brain?
[00:06:37] What are the steps?
[00:06:39] So obviously in one episode,
[00:06:40] I can't teach you every little detail, right?
[00:06:43] It's not possible.
[00:06:44] But I am gonna walk you through the phases
[00:06:47] that I help my clients go through.
[00:06:50] And these are the exact phases of my program,
[00:06:52] the mind body healing method,
[00:06:54] which by the way, the doors are open this week
[00:06:57] for my next group iteration.
[00:07:00] We have a sale going on
[00:07:01] and then we also have another small group
[00:07:03] that's going to be starting.
[00:07:04] And you can get in on that
[00:07:06] if you sign up by the end of this week.
[00:07:07] So you can find the links below
[00:07:08] for the special sale and the pricing
[00:07:11] and what we're offering.
[00:07:12] So the whole point is that I wanna get in
[00:07:16] as many people as possible to do this work.
[00:07:18] And so I wanna make it as accessible as possible to you.
[00:07:21] So there's a couple of different options.
[00:07:22] You can get the course,
[00:07:24] actually we have a bundle right now
[00:07:25] of a cup of the mind body healing method
[00:07:27] and my own special flare course.
[00:07:29] And you can get that
[00:07:30] and go through that on your own,
[00:07:31] in your own way, in your own pace,
[00:07:33] in your own time.
[00:07:34] And then you can add on some individual sessions
[00:07:37] with Liana, my other therapist and coach
[00:07:39] that teaches in our program to get that support.
[00:07:41] And then if you wanna be around a group of people
[00:07:45] who are going through this together
[00:07:46] and then guided by me,
[00:07:48] you can join the mind body healing method small group.
[00:07:51] It is a group where I support you,
[00:07:54] you go through the program
[00:07:55] and we give you step-by-step instructions
[00:07:57] to do that outside of session.
[00:07:58] But then in session,
[00:07:59] you're getting real live coaching from me
[00:08:01] and getting supported by others.
[00:08:03] And it's this wonderful, juicy,
[00:08:05] just, oh, such a love spate.
[00:08:07] Like such a space of love.
[00:08:08] Everyone loves each other,
[00:08:09] it supports each other
[00:08:10] and we're just in it together.
[00:08:11] And I am diving deep with you
[00:08:13] to understand what you're missing,
[00:08:14] where you're stuck, things like that.
[00:08:16] So find the links below.
[00:08:18] DM me if you have any questions about it.
[00:08:20] DM me on Instagram or you can send me an email.
[00:08:23] If you're like, hey, I don't really know.
[00:08:25] I wanna do this or I'm interested
[00:08:27] but I just don't really know like what's right
[00:08:28] or what's the best fit for me.
[00:08:31] I will totally walk you through it
[00:08:32] and we'll go from there.
[00:08:34] So back to our phases, right?
[00:08:38] So the phases of the mind-body healing method,
[00:08:40] the phases of how you go through this healing journey
[00:08:44] is what I'm going to outline for you.
[00:08:46] And before I do that,
[00:08:48] I wanna touch on what I mentioned earlier
[00:08:49] about this like medical model of just,
[00:08:53] I kinda said this, but I'm gonna expand onto it.
[00:08:55] Basically the medical model
[00:08:57] that we are in in modern day society
[00:08:58] is one that makes you think
[00:09:01] that you don't have any power.
[00:09:03] And I don't say that to the doctors out there
[00:09:05] that are trying their best
[00:09:06] and genuinely want to help people.
[00:09:08] I have not met a doctor or a practitioner who's like,
[00:09:12] oh, I'm just in this like,
[00:09:13] just for the money or the ego state
[00:09:16] because to be honest,
[00:09:17] like not everyone makes a bunch of money
[00:09:19] in the helping service oriented medical field.
[00:09:22] Everyone is truly genuinely operating
[00:09:24] at a place of just wanting to help.
[00:09:26] It's just that not everyone has the modern day
[00:09:28] pain science that we have now.
[00:09:30] So my point being is that the medical model
[00:09:34] is built around a system that makes you not trust yourself
[00:09:37] because every time you have a problem,
[00:09:39] you go to a doctor or a specialist,
[00:09:41] ask them how can they fix you?
[00:09:44] They give you some sort of prescription or protocol
[00:09:47] or to do to then do that.
[00:09:50] But they can't guarantee that's gonna change anything,
[00:09:52] right?
[00:09:53] And then you're left with this sense of external need
[00:09:55] for validation and fix and help.
[00:09:57] And instead, what I want to help you do
[00:10:00] is understand your own sense of self and values
[00:10:04] and alignment to where you can,
[00:10:07] yes, go for support and help.
[00:10:09] I'm all about it.
[00:10:10] I've said it a million times on here.
[00:10:11] Like I always have had some sort of mentor,
[00:10:14] practitioner, therapist, teacher
[00:10:17] to help me along the way because that's super helpful.
[00:10:20] But I choose people who help me help myself.
[00:10:24] So this is not to say if you break your leg,
[00:10:26] don't go see a doctor.
[00:10:27] Obviously go do that, get the help you need
[00:10:30] and be on your way.
[00:10:31] You need that support.
[00:10:32] But the reason I say that is because we need to,
[00:10:37] I was just had a podcast episode about this,
[00:10:39] of learning to trust yourself throughout this process.
[00:10:42] It's a big part of it.
[00:10:44] On a very blanket state level,
[00:10:46] most humans walking around this world right now
[00:10:47] do not trust themselves.
[00:10:49] And so then every sensation, every twins you feel,
[00:10:53] every headache you get, you're freaking out
[00:10:56] and wondering what's wrong and what's happening.
[00:10:59] But if you start to learn to trust your body's own wisdom
[00:11:03] and then you also learn to stay in alignment
[00:11:07] with your values and how you wanna live your life.
[00:11:09] One, you probably won't have as many headaches,
[00:11:11] but two, you won't freak out.
[00:11:13] You will know how to help yourself,
[00:11:16] how to respond to your symptoms instead of panic.
[00:11:21] You'll respond with compassion and love
[00:11:24] and maybe a little annoyance, but you'll move through it.
[00:11:27] That's the difference.
[00:11:28] I want you to go from panic, freaking out, confused,
[00:11:31] not sure what's going on in your body to,
[00:11:33] I'm just gonna respond to myself no matter what's happening
[00:11:35] in a very loving and compassionate way.
[00:11:38] The more you respond, the less your body freaks out.
[00:11:41] Yeah?
[00:11:42] Okay, so here is the roadmap,
[00:11:45] the five phases of the Mind Body Healing Method
[00:11:47] and the way that any other practitioner doing this
[00:11:49] Mind Body work has some sort of iteration of this.
[00:11:52] This is my iteration.
[00:11:54] So first and foremost, I'm gonna say the phrases
[00:11:57] and then I'll explain them.
[00:11:58] We have recognize, rewire, regulate, integrate, and reclaim.
[00:12:05] So first and foremost, phase one is recognized
[00:12:08] and I wanna tell you upfront
[00:12:09] that this phase might sound simple, right?
[00:12:12] Just recognize what's happening
[00:12:14] and it kind of is in a sense of
[00:12:16] it's really a lot more about educating yourself.
[00:12:19] In this phase, you're really learning
[00:12:21] to understand what's actually happening in your body.
[00:12:24] Not about what you've been told
[00:12:26] but not what the symptoms feel like on the surface
[00:12:29] but the real mechanisms underneath.
[00:12:31] Like actually how your brain changes your body sensations,
[00:12:35] how your brain and your nervous system
[00:12:38] actually create pain and illness.
[00:12:40] Recognize means knowing
[00:12:42] that your nervous system has two main jobs.
[00:12:45] Protect you when there's a threat
[00:12:46] and bring you back to safety when there isn't.
[00:12:48] Up, down, activate, settle
[00:12:50] and when your nervous system gets stuck
[00:12:53] and up and down or bouncing between both
[00:12:55] your body starts sending signals.
[00:12:57] Pain, fatigue, dizziness, gut issues, tight chest,
[00:13:00] hypersensitivity, brain fog, IC, OAB.
[00:13:03] The list goes on, right?
[00:13:06] Recognize really means understanding
[00:13:08] those signals or communication.
[00:13:10] They're not malfunctioned.
[00:13:11] They're not because something's wrong with you
[00:13:12] or your body's too sensitive or too broken.
[00:13:15] They are not punishment.
[00:13:16] They are not your body betraying you.
[00:13:18] They are communication.
[00:13:20] Your nervous system is sending you signals of distress.
[00:13:23] It's like a flare signal, right?
[00:13:25] Like if you're lost in the woods or on the ocean
[00:13:27] or something like that and your SOS,
[00:13:29] like you need help, you send out a huge signal, right?
[00:13:32] Your nervous system is essentially doing that
[00:13:34] when you have chronic pain and illness.
[00:13:36] It's saying, hey, something has to change.
[00:13:39] We gotta make a change.
[00:13:40] We're not okay.
[00:13:41] We're in threat mode.
[00:13:42] So recognizing the recognized phase
[00:13:44] is helping you understand that
[00:13:47] so that actually there can be a little bit of a,
[00:13:49] I get what's happening, so I'm not as worried.
[00:13:53] Doesn't mean you're not gonna worry,
[00:13:54] but you're just not as worried.
[00:13:56] It means that maybe we can get you out of your head
[00:14:00] a little bit more or stop panicking
[00:14:02] and scheduling every specialist appointment
[00:14:04] that you can under the sun.
[00:14:06] Bringing down that danger signal a little bit
[00:14:08] just by understanding what's happening, right?
[00:14:11] Awareness is power.
[00:14:12] Education is power.
[00:14:14] You cannot change something if you are not aware of it.
[00:14:17] So we have to become aware.
[00:14:19] We have to recognize.
[00:14:21] Some people stay in this phase for a long time.
[00:14:24] There's a lot of people I have calls
[00:14:25] with who are like, I've read the books.
[00:14:27] I listen to every single episode of your podcast.
[00:14:29] I have done this self-paced program.
[00:14:31] I've done that self-paced program, but I'm still stuck.
[00:14:34] So awareness is amazing and it's wonderful
[00:14:37] and it can help you, but it is not gonna change
[00:14:39] everything, so that's why it's only step one.
[00:14:41] Step two is rewire.
[00:14:44] Rewire means the phase where we actually work
[00:14:47] directly with your brain.
[00:14:49] I called it rewire because I see rewiring your brain
[00:14:52] as kind of more like a technical phase, if you will.
[00:14:55] It's not necessarily that technical,
[00:14:57] but this is where we learn about brain training
[00:14:59] because if your brain is stuck in a threat loop,
[00:15:02] if that's been telling your body for years
[00:15:04] that something is wrong, something is dangerous,
[00:15:07] something is going to hurt you,
[00:15:09] then no amount of breath work or somatic exercises
[00:15:12] or walking in the forest is really going to help you, right?
[00:15:17] So like I talk to people a lot
[00:15:18] who've been through somatic therapy, which is amazing.
[00:15:21] I'm a somatic therapist, it's wonderful
[00:15:23] and it's learning how to attune to your body
[00:15:25] and be with, right?
[00:15:27] Which is great, that's actually the next phase,
[00:15:29] like being with the sensations of your body
[00:15:33] and that is wonderful, but if we aren't also rewiring
[00:15:37] the brain's understanding and response to pain and illness,
[00:15:42] then there may not be a lot of decrease in your symptoms
[00:15:45] because the body can't soften
[00:15:47] when the brain is still sounding the alarm.
[00:15:50] So there's a lot out there where it's either brain training
[00:15:52] or it's somatic regulation or nervous system regulation, right?
[00:15:55] Or maybe it's emotional processing
[00:15:57] and they're all wonderful,
[00:15:59] but in my humble opinion and experience, we need them all.
[00:16:04] So that's why my program has them all.
[00:16:07] That's why I help people with them.
[00:16:08] So number two, again, back to brain training, rewire.
[00:16:13] This is the phase where we work top down, right?
[00:16:16] Like brain to body.
[00:16:18] So when we start with the thinking brain,
[00:16:20] the part that's been catastrophizing your symptoms,
[00:16:23] predicting the worst case scenario,
[00:16:25] scanning every single morning for what's wrong,
[00:16:28] attaching meaning to every little sensation
[00:16:31] you feel in your body,
[00:16:31] that's what your brain's doing when you're doing that.
[00:16:34] That's your brain when you're attaching meaning.
[00:16:37] So what happens is we start to then change the language
[00:16:41] you use in your brain and your thoughts.
[00:16:43] Go from, for example, we start to say sensation
[00:16:48] instead of pain, burning, itching, fatigue.
[00:16:53] Whatever the sensation is
[00:16:56] that is what you're thinking is problematic,
[00:16:59] we change that to sensation.
[00:17:02] Even that little shift changes the connotation
[00:17:05] of what's happening in your body, right?
[00:17:07] Cause if you're constantly saying,
[00:17:09] I have pain in my body,
[00:17:11] I have this burning issue in my body
[00:17:13] or this urgency feeling or this tightness
[00:17:17] or this whatever it might be, sharp pain.
[00:17:21] Those have a negative connotation.
[00:17:23] So your brain says, oh, negative, wrong, bad.
[00:17:26] So with brain training, what we're doing is changing that.
[00:17:29] We're changing your association to those sensations
[00:17:32] in your body from pain to something neutral
[00:17:34] like I'm having a sensation in my body.
[00:17:36] And it's not in a toxic positive way,
[00:17:38] like just think positive and everything will be better.
[00:17:41] It's not, I'm not talking about telling yourself
[00:17:44] everything is great when it isn't.
[00:17:45] I'm talking about giving your brain a believable bridge,
[00:17:49] something neutral, something true,
[00:17:52] something your nervous system can actually hold onto
[00:17:54] without rejecting it.
[00:17:55] Rewire is about changing those thoughts
[00:17:59] and also building an evidence list
[00:18:02] so that your brain can wire away
[00:18:04] from everything is dangerous all the time,
[00:18:06] threat mode, we're always in pain to actually,
[00:18:09] maybe not all the time, right?
[00:18:11] We deliberately train it to scan for what's right
[00:18:15] instead of what's wrong.
[00:18:16] So your brain and nervous system
[00:18:18] are primed to look for what's wrong.
[00:18:20] It protects you from a lion, a tiger,
[00:18:23] a toxic partner, a bad boss or hard boss, right?
[00:18:27] It trains you to look for what's wrong in your life.
[00:18:32] Now, that's not necessarily bad
[00:18:34] when you're driving in a car
[00:18:35] and you need to watch out for something like a traffic
[00:18:38] or someone that's gonna crash into you.
[00:18:39] Obviously, that's great.
[00:18:42] Scan away, brain.
[00:18:44] But over time, if you've been stuck in threat mode,
[00:18:46] your brain is looking for everything
[00:18:48] and seeing everything is wrong.
[00:18:50] So in brain training, we're changing that to,
[00:18:53] let's look for what's right.
[00:18:54] Maybe small moments where you weren't in pain
[00:18:57] or sensation.
[00:18:58] Maybe conversations where your body felt at ease.
[00:19:01] We're not denying the symptoms.
[00:19:03] We're widening the brain's data set
[00:19:06] so it stops missing the safety signals it's been ignoring.
[00:19:09] This is the phase where the wiring actually starts to shift,
[00:19:12] not because you've thought your way out of it,
[00:19:15] but because you've given your brain enough new evidence,
[00:19:18] enough new responses, enough new patterns
[00:19:20] that it starts to update.
[00:19:22] And once that starts happening,
[00:19:24] your body becomes available for the next phase.
[00:19:27] Phase three is regulate.
[00:19:28] So I mentioned this a little bit at the beginning.
[00:19:30] This is more of the bottom up,
[00:19:32] which when we say that we're saying body first, right?
[00:19:35] So this is the phase where you probably hear a lot of it
[00:19:38] on the internet about nervous system regulation, right?
[00:19:41] This is the tapping, the shaking, the breath work,
[00:19:45] the somatic exercises, the vagus nerve toning,
[00:19:49] because those do matter.
[00:19:51] They're just not the only thing
[00:19:53] that's going to matter or help you.
[00:19:55] So when I use them and I teach them,
[00:19:57] I wanna put them in a place
[00:19:59] where they're really gonna help support your body.
[00:20:01] So to be honest, when I created the program,
[00:20:03] I was actually debating like, where do I put this?
[00:20:06] Do I put this at the beginning?
[00:20:07] Because I actually very much so I'm a body first person
[00:20:10] and I think that's really important
[00:20:12] to help our body feel safe.
[00:20:14] But as I learned a little bit more,
[00:20:15] I did some more research,
[00:20:17] I understood the nervous system
[00:20:18] and the brain response more.
[00:20:20] I found out that I actually need to put it
[00:20:22] after brain training because
[00:20:25] if you're in chronic pain and illness,
[00:20:26] you have learned not to trust your body.
[00:20:29] And to actually just think that everything about your body,
[00:20:31] like you can't trust it.
[00:20:32] You don't know your body's signals.
[00:20:34] You can't sit there and be like,
[00:20:35] oh, listen to what my body is saying
[00:20:37] and I'll go with that.
[00:20:38] Because dude, you can't listen
[00:20:41] to all the sensations you have
[00:20:43] and then trust them.
[00:20:44] And like if you were doing that,
[00:20:46] if your body was in pain, you'd be like,
[00:20:48] okay, well, I'm not gonna do anything.
[00:20:49] I'm gonna lay in bed or right.
[00:20:51] Like it won't make sense to just like listen
[00:20:53] and trust your body and work with it.
[00:20:55] We have to first change the brain
[00:20:57] and then work with the body.
[00:20:59] And to be honest, a lot of times this goes together.
[00:21:01] Like they're in tandem.
[00:21:04] You know, you don't have to get perfect at brain training
[00:21:06] before you learn to regulate your body
[00:21:08] and use somatic practices.
[00:21:10] A lot of this is interchangeable and flexible,
[00:21:12] but I do think it's important to note that.
[00:21:15] So what does this actually look like?
[00:21:18] It looks like learning to expand
[00:21:21] the sensation of difficulty in your body
[00:21:24] by being with it,
[00:21:26] expanding the space that you can move and feel in
[00:21:30] without flipping into shutdown or panic.
[00:21:34] Expand the window slowly and gently with practice
[00:21:38] by being with your body,
[00:21:41] being with a sensation of burning
[00:21:43] or being with the sensation of maybe
[00:21:46] you have urgency in your bladder
[00:21:48] and you have to go really bad.
[00:21:50] But so somatic practice is sitting with those sensations
[00:21:54] for five minutes before you do anything about them
[00:21:57] as you're also saying,
[00:21:58] hey, I'm gonna note that these are more neutral,
[00:22:01] they're just sensations, they're not something wrong.
[00:22:05] That's actually a wonderful example
[00:22:07] of what it's like to use brain training
[00:22:09] and a somatic practice.
[00:22:11] Look, I just taught you a skill.
[00:22:12] It looks like completing stress cycles
[00:22:14] your body has been holding for years.
[00:22:16] So when you do have something coming up
[00:22:18] that you wanna avoid or push down
[00:22:20] or your body wants you to collapse into,
[00:22:22] I want you to be with it.
[00:22:24] I want you to shake your body.
[00:22:25] I want you to move,
[00:22:27] learn how to bring sound into your body
[00:22:33] through your throat,
[00:22:35] through humming or singing
[00:22:37] or using sound to make vibrations in your body
[00:22:41] because we know that certain frequencies
[00:22:43] and vibrations actually heal the body.
[00:22:47] Y'all, by the way, each one of these phases
[00:22:49] could literally be like 10 different podcast episodes.
[00:22:52] So I'm giving you the highlights here
[00:22:53] and as I'm noticing myself,
[00:22:55] I'm wanting to go more deeper and deeper into them
[00:22:57] and share more, but I just can't fit all that in here.
[00:23:01] That's exactly what the program's for though
[00:23:03] or one-on-one support, however you wanna feel supported.
[00:23:06] But my point being is that it looks like,
[00:23:09] like somatic practice and nervous system regulation
[00:23:12] with the body looks like learning the difference
[00:23:14] between my body's activated by something going on.
[00:23:20] And you might not even know
[00:23:21] that your body is activated.
[00:23:23] You might just know it as headache
[00:23:25] or tightness or pain or frustration.
[00:23:30] Whenever you feel those things,
[00:23:32] your body has been saying danger.
[00:23:34] So what we're doing is we're separating that.
[00:23:36] When there's an activation, like someone's annoying you,
[00:23:40] you're feeling frustration, you're feeling anger,
[00:23:42] you're feeling pain, illness, sensation,
[00:23:45] we're separating those things from danger
[00:23:49] because we're recategorizing them.
[00:23:51] We're basically telling the body that it's not dangerous.
[00:23:53] It's okay.
[00:23:54] It's okay to be with these sensations.
[00:23:57] It's okay to be with frustration.
[00:23:59] It's okay to share my opinion, even if someone rejects it.
[00:24:04] All of these things are absolutely okay
[00:24:07] and safe to be with.
[00:24:08] It doesn't mean comfortable or happy all the time,
[00:24:12] but your body has never learned
[00:24:13] that uncomfortability is okay
[00:24:15] and that's what we're working with
[00:24:17] when we're talking about somatically being in the body.
[00:24:19] Regulation is teaching your system gently
[00:24:22] that activation can be safe
[00:24:24] and that feeling something doesn't mean you're in danger.
[00:24:27] I mean, man, I've been in this phase for years
[00:24:29] in one iteration or another, right?
[00:24:31] I'm not saying I've been stuck in this one place forever.
[00:24:34] I'm saying that like this is an ever-evolving place to be
[00:24:37] and I am learning more and more what it means
[00:24:39] to expand my capacity
[00:24:41] and be with all these different experiences in life.
[00:24:45] It's pretty wild, y'all.
[00:24:46] This work is incredible
[00:24:47] and I'm just saying that
[00:24:49] because this is a really important place
[00:24:51] and also this is just an ever-evolving process
[00:24:54] but there is a place of almost like an unlock
[00:24:58] that you can get to when you do this work
[00:25:01] where it's kind of like the more you practice
[00:25:03] these little places of just being with the body,
[00:25:06] the more confidence it gives your nervous system
[00:25:09] which then the more capacity you have
[00:25:12] which then the less symptoms you have, yeah?
[00:25:17] Okay, the next phase is integrate.
[00:25:20] So this is the phase that I get very fired up about
[00:25:25] because I don't often hear a lot of people talk about.
[00:25:28] We hear nervous system regulation
[00:25:30] in terms of brain rewiring or somatically regulating
[00:25:34] but from my experience, this is the secret sauce, healing.
[00:25:40] Integrate is all about emotional regulation.
[00:25:43] I'm a healing if that's been a part of your story,
[00:25:46] learning how to get out of protective mechanisms
[00:25:49] like perfectionism, people pleasing, over functioning,
[00:25:53] lots of work with emotional suppression
[00:25:56] because if your body has learned to survive
[00:25:58] by doing these things, which it has,
[00:26:01] all of everything I just mentioned are protectors
[00:26:04] and then also suppressing your emotions
[00:26:06] like anger, grief, sadness, shame.
[00:26:09] Those are the big ones we suppress
[00:26:11] that get stuck in our bodies.
[00:26:12] Your body is holding it all together
[00:26:14] while quietly falling apart.
[00:26:17] Those patterns still live within you
[00:26:19] no matter what brain training, somatic expansion you can do.
[00:26:24] Emotional expression while you're regulating
[00:26:28] your brain and your body, it all goes together.
[00:26:32] So we start to look at the pressure
[00:26:35] you've been carrying for years.
[00:26:37] The trauma you maybe haven't even called trauma
[00:26:41] because it didn't look like trauma in the movies, right?
[00:26:44] You didn't know you had it.
[00:26:46] Or maybe you did, maybe you wanted 100% can be like,
[00:26:48] yep, I've had these traumas.
[00:26:50] All right, so we're working with that
[00:26:51] in a different way than you probably ever have.
[00:26:54] Look, I was a therapist for six years, I think, five
[00:26:59] before I came to this work.
[00:27:02] And like, I'd been through some trauma trainings.
[00:27:04] I learned how to help people with their emotions,
[00:27:08] but nothing I learned in those years
[00:27:10] touches the work that I do now.
[00:27:12] I understand emotional expression and suppression
[00:27:16] and trauma work and survival strategies
[00:27:19] when it comes to personality characteristics
[00:27:22] on a whole other level than I ever realized I could
[00:27:24] know it on.
[00:27:26] And I say that just because I don't want you sitting here
[00:27:29] be like, yeah, I know I've been to therapy,
[00:27:31] like I've talked about my trauma,
[00:27:33] I've talked about my emotions, that's the problem.
[00:27:35] I don't want you to just talk about it.
[00:27:37] I want you to learn how to expand your capacity for it,
[00:27:40] respond differently to how it happened in your body,
[00:27:43] meaning you had an experience,
[00:27:46] your body categorized it as dangerous
[00:27:48] or it categorized it as not okay,
[00:27:50] so it suppressed all those emotions
[00:27:52] and now it's coming out in physical symptoms.
[00:27:55] So I want us to help you to be with those emotions
[00:27:58] that experience and respond to it differently.
[00:28:01] Two people can go through the same experience.
[00:28:03] One body categorizes it as trauma and dangerous.
[00:28:06] The other body just says,
[00:28:08] oh, that was a difficult experience and we're moving on.
[00:28:11] We don't want to stay stuck in talking about it forever
[00:28:14] or stay stuck in processing it forever
[00:28:16] because that keeps it alive.
[00:28:18] We want to bring it up, be with it and move on.
[00:28:21] And that's a very simplistic way of saying it,
[00:28:23] but I think you get what I'm saying.
[00:28:25] So this is also where we work with the parts of you
[00:28:29] that I've been carrying so much weight,
[00:28:30] like the protector parts a little bit I mentioned.
[00:28:33] The people-pleaser, perfectionist, the exhausted caretaker,
[00:28:36] the part of you that doesn't feel good enough,
[00:28:38] feel smart enough,
[00:28:39] the part of you that feels like you have to be so successful
[00:28:42] just to be worthy of love.
[00:28:44] Those are super important here
[00:28:45] because that's driving so much
[00:28:48] of your protection patterning in your body.
[00:28:50] In this phase, I'm not gonna lie to you,
[00:28:52] it can be a little hard, but it's beautiful.
[00:28:56] It's the most transformational work
[00:28:58] and it's really where the deepest healing happens
[00:29:01] because this is where you stop being at war
[00:29:04] with the strategies that your nervous system built to survive
[00:29:07] and start releasing the actual reasons
[00:29:09] your system needed those strategies in the first place.
[00:29:12] When this space starts working,
[00:29:14] symptoms don't just quiet,
[00:29:17] they start to mean something different.
[00:29:19] They become information
[00:29:21] instead of an emergency you need to fix.
[00:29:23] And that's when you know you're making changes.
[00:29:27] All right, phase five is reclaim.
[00:29:30] And I call it reclaim
[00:29:31] because I'm talking about like reclaiming your life.
[00:29:34] What does it look like?
[00:29:35] What does your life look like
[00:29:36] after you've gone through all of these phases
[00:29:39] I just talked about?
[00:29:39] Like, damn y'all, those are some intense phases
[00:29:43] or at least they can be.
[00:29:45] And again, this is one podcast episode
[00:29:47] but those phases can take months.
[00:29:50] Reclaim honestly can move up and down these phases.
[00:29:55] Again, phases are just here to be outlined
[00:29:58] but know that it's flexible.
[00:30:00] It's within a system.
[00:30:02] And so this reclaim phase
[00:30:04] is you aligning more with your true self.
[00:30:09] And sometimes for some people
[00:30:10] it looks like leaving a relationship, leaving a job,
[00:30:13] leaving friendships or making new friendships,
[00:30:18] finding a new partner
[00:30:19] that is way more aligned with you than ever before,
[00:30:21] stepping into a new career
[00:30:23] that feels so much better for your body,
[00:30:25] your system, your life.
[00:30:28] Sometimes people have to make big changes in their life
[00:30:32] in order to move through recovery
[00:30:34] which I say that as something you have to do.
[00:30:36] I actually think it's a beautiful part of this work.
[00:30:40] I just had someone that you'll hear this episode come out
[00:30:43] talk about this where we talked about
[00:30:45] how actually this chronic pain and illness
[00:30:48] is making you uncomfortable
[00:30:50] so that you make these changes, right?
[00:30:51] You're not just gonna make changes
[00:30:52] without being uncomfortable.
[00:30:55] And so reclaim is where you start trusting your body again.
[00:30:58] Not in a fake way, but in a real heart-earned way
[00:31:01] because you've spent the previous months, however long,
[00:31:05] building the relationship with your body back up.
[00:31:08] You've recognized what's happening,
[00:31:10] you've rewired the brain,
[00:31:11] you've regulated the nervous system,
[00:31:13] you've integrated the patterns underneath
[00:31:14] and now your body has started to feel like home again.
[00:31:18] And this is where your identity starts to shift.
[00:31:20] Chronic pain and illness becomes who you were sometimes
[00:31:24] when it goes on long enough, right?
[00:31:26] You start to forget the true self
[00:31:28] and you just start to plan around your symptoms
[00:31:29] and you stop making plans
[00:31:31] about actually how you wanna live your life
[00:31:33] and instead you just protect yourself every day.
[00:31:35] You shrink quietly or not so quietly, but you do.
[00:31:41] And so reclaim is where you start to remember
[00:31:43] or you start to build a new way of being in your life
[00:31:47] where you start to saying yes to things again.
[00:31:49] You stop introducing yourself
[00:31:51] by the job that you hated and that you had, right?
[00:31:55] You find out actually what lights you up,
[00:31:58] the people you wanna be around.
[00:32:00] You set boundaries with people
[00:32:02] that maybe you needed to before.
[00:32:04] Here's the thing about reclaim, it's not the end, right?
[00:32:07] Like I said, this is a very flexible process.
[00:32:09] It's the part where the work becomes part of how you live
[00:32:12] and not because you don't have flares anymore
[00:32:15] or you don't have symptoms.
[00:32:17] Symptoms like body physical reactions
[00:32:21] to stress states of your life
[00:32:24] probably will continue to happen,
[00:32:26] but not in the way of keeping you out of alignment
[00:32:29] in your life, not in the way of keeping you from your life.
[00:32:32] Maybe just here and there
[00:32:34] where then you know how to work with it, right?
[00:32:36] So reclaim isn't this like,
[00:32:37] oh, I never have anybody's symptoms ever again
[00:32:40] and I'm healed and I'm fantastic.
[00:32:42] No, it's just about really understanding
[00:32:45] that you're honoring yourself
[00:32:47] and you're continuing to do that
[00:32:49] over and over and over and over again.
[00:32:51] So what I really want you to take from all of this
[00:32:56] is that your body is not malfunctioning,
[00:32:59] it's not betraying you,
[00:33:01] your body is doing exactly what it learned to do
[00:33:04] which is protect you.
[00:33:07] The symptoms that won't quit that aren't random,
[00:33:09] they are your nervous system's best attempt
[00:33:11] at keeping you safe
[00:33:12] based on everything it has experienced up to now.
[00:33:15] So your body has been in protection mode
[00:33:17] and protection mode can come down.
[00:33:20] With the right map and a supportive system,
[00:33:24] a supportive place with the right people
[00:33:26] and the right support.
[00:33:28] And that's true recovery,
[00:33:30] not a fix that someone gives you to change you,
[00:33:34] it's support to help you help yourself.
[00:33:37] I think that is the best gift that we can have in life.
[00:33:40] So that is the map of how I help people change and shift
[00:33:45] which is actually pretty wild for me
[00:33:46] to just sit down and explain that in an episode
[00:33:49] but I really feel like I did.
[00:33:51] And obviously there are so much more underneath all of that
[00:33:55] but I hope that gives you a good overview.
[00:33:58] And if this episode landed for you if these phases,
[00:34:02] if you hear yourself in the things that I just said,
[00:34:06] I really urge you to look at the mind body healing method.
[00:34:11] I want you to send it to someone in your life
[00:34:13] who's been to 12 doctors
[00:34:14] and still being told everything looks fine
[00:34:17] because they need it too.
[00:34:19] But so much so for you, don't wait on it.
[00:34:23] I don't want you to continue to stay in these patterns
[00:34:26] over and over again.
[00:34:27] Cause the longer you do,
[00:34:29] sometimes the deeper those pathways get.
[00:34:32] And so we want to help you get out of those pathways
[00:34:35] and not stay stuck in them, right?
[00:34:38] So as a reminder, you can find the links below
[00:34:41] at the date of this podcast episode.
[00:34:43] We do have a sale going on.
[00:34:45] And if you're listening to this after the sale,
[00:34:47] we always have something going on
[00:34:48] but find the links below because you can always join
[00:34:51] no matter if we're having a sale or not.
[00:34:52] I always want this to be accessible for people.
[00:34:55] So you can go through this program in a self-paced manner
[00:34:59] or you can get the support of a group or individual.
[00:35:02] So we have a few different options.
[00:35:04] If you don't know what's right for you,
[00:35:06] let me know, DM me, email me
[00:35:08] and I will walk you through it.
[00:35:09] But the main thing is that I just want you
[00:35:12] to get the support that you need.
[00:35:14] I want you to get out of the stuck place
[00:35:16] and feel more aligned in your life
[00:35:19] and not have to think about your symptoms all the time.
[00:35:22] Okay.
[00:35:24] I hope that this was helpful.
[00:35:26] And remember that your body is just stuck in protection
[00:35:29] and it is not broken and it is totally possible
[00:35:32] to get unstuck.
[00:35:34] Until next time, keep healing with grace.
[00:35:37] If this podcast means something to you,
[00:35:39] it would mean so much to me
[00:35:40] if you could do these couple things.
[00:35:42] One, go to the Heal with Grace Show page
[00:35:45] wherever you listen and tap the plus sign
[00:35:47] or click on the follow button
[00:35:48] so you don't miss an episode.
[00:35:50] It helps both of us out.
[00:35:52] While you're there, if you could give a five-star review
[00:35:55] so that this podcast can reach more people,
[00:35:57] it would mean so much to me
[00:35:59] so I can continue sharing episodes
[00:36:01] that help you as well as others.
[00:36:03] Thanks for listening
[00:36:04] and I hope this brings you hope on your journey.