The Overlap Between Eating Disorders and Chronic Illness

[00:00:00] Hey there and welcome to Heal with Grace. I'm your host Grace Secker
[00:00:04] and I'm a holistic licensed therapist and nervous system coach who believes that the chronic and often unseen symptoms
[00:00:10] you're living with are a sign of something deeper going on. A sign that your nervous system needs attention. In each episode
[00:00:17] I'll share the science behind the most common chronic health disorders plus holistic health tips using mental physical and spiritual practices.
[00:00:25] You'll hear what I've learned in my journey and the true stories from our trusted guests
[00:00:30] so you can feel less alone in your experience and give yourself grace no matter what you're going through.
[00:00:35] So without further ado, settle in and get cozy. It's time to Heal with Grace.
[00:00:40] Hey friends and welcome back to the Heal with Grace podcast.
[00:00:45] Today's episode is one that I know will hit home for so many of you because
[00:00:49] not only have I struggled with it, but I would say most people I talked to
[00:00:54] struggle with some sort of
[00:00:56] disordered relationship with food. Whether it came before their chronic illness or chronic pain or it became an issue as they're going through their
[00:01:03] healing journey. Because when you're navigating these issues or just feeling like your body is feeling you,
[00:01:08] it's easy to fall down the rabbit hole of fixing it through food because there's so many messages about food and what it means and how
[00:01:16] you need it or what you need and what you don't need, what's gonna help you. It's exhausting.
[00:01:21] So I'm gonna talk today about the overlap between
[00:01:25] chronic illness, chronic pain and eating disorders or any kind of disordered eating with food.
[00:01:30] And I'm gonna even talk about exactly what that looks like. The personality traits that make people with chronic pain more
[00:01:36] susceptible to disorder eating and how chronic illness symptoms and eating disorder symptoms can mimic each other are something
[00:01:42] we're going to dive into and
[00:01:44] why the wellness industry and functional medicine culture can be a slippery slope
[00:01:48] into restriction. And then most importantly, we're going to talk about
[00:01:53] how to heal your relationship with food without fear of obsession. So let's get into it. First and foremost,
[00:02:01] what is disordered eating? If you notice yourself thinking more about food, about what you should eat or what you shouldn't eat and it
[00:02:08] takes up mind space or you have difficulty digesting foods or you've been told or shown that you have certain
[00:02:16] sensitivities to food and it takes up just
[00:02:19] way more time in your day than you think it does or than you think it should and you're exhausted by it and it's become something
[00:02:26] maybe you isolate yourself from food, maybe you don't eat around people,
[00:02:29] maybe you hesitate to go out socially because you don't want to have to sit there and not know what to eat because you have
[00:02:35] so many restrictions. All of these things lead up to a disordered relationship with food.
[00:02:40] You may not have some full-blown eating disorder, but it doesn't really matter.
[00:02:43] You have something that's taking up more space and more fear and anxiety in your mind and in your body.
[00:02:49] So if that feels like something that you
[00:02:54] resonate with that you're like, oh my gosh, yeah, that's me.
[00:02:57] Like I think about food when I wake up and I think about it when I go to sleep or I think about how it's going to affect
[00:03:02] my body or a shame or guilt myself for eating something. Maybe it's even just like a
[00:03:08] really clean eating dessert and then you still shame yourself because you're afraid it's going to get you sick or you're afraid
[00:03:14] it's going to lead to cancer. If you have any kind of fear around food,
[00:03:18] that's essentially what I'm getting at. If you have any kind of fear around food, you need to listen to this.
[00:03:24] We don't want fear in our bodies.
[00:03:26] Fear creates stuckness,
[00:03:29] inflammation, dysregulated nervous system and really just a crappy place to be, to be frank.
[00:03:35] Right? If we have so much fear around actually something that's supposed to be so pleasurable,
[00:03:40] then you definitely need to listen to this. Food is actually meant to bring us together.
[00:03:45] There's so much culture and romanticism and
[00:03:49] slowing down and medicine within food.
[00:03:51] I know there's a lot about like food is medicine and I'm not discounting that.
[00:03:55] It can actually be a really great thing and really great
[00:03:58] mechanism to give to yourself and to nourish yourself and to show yourself love by eating what your body feels
[00:04:05] like it wants, how it's going to feel good.
[00:04:08] But if it comes with that fear and anxiety and shame and guilt, no, we don't want it.
[00:04:13] So first and foremost, I am going to talk about the personality connection.
[00:04:19] Who is most at risk for having some sort of disordered eating? First and foremost,
[00:04:24] I'll start with a question.
[00:04:26] Have you ever thought of yourself as a perfectionist or been called one?
[00:04:31] If you've been listening to this podcast, you know, there's a lot of us that live here.
[00:04:35] And if you have chronic pain or illness,
[00:04:37] chances are you have a personality that makes you more susceptible to both health struggles and disordered eating.
[00:04:44] And here's why.
[00:04:45] First and foremost, you might have an element or a part of you that's more of the perfectionist or
[00:04:50] overachiever. So you're used to working hard for everything, your career, your relationships,
[00:04:55] your healing. And I'm going to highlight this, your healing.
[00:04:58] You might be thinking you're doing all the things.
[00:05:00] You're following the wellness influencers.
[00:05:02] You're doing what your functional doctor tells you to.
[00:05:05] You're avoiding these foods.
[00:05:06] You're inputting these foods.
[00:05:07] You're taking these supplements.
[00:05:08] You're eating perfectly.
[00:05:10] And of course, you go all in, except bodies don't work like a math equation.
[00:05:16] Restriction does not always equal healing.
[00:05:19] And furthermore, restriction of food creates the disordered place.
[00:05:24] This is sort of a relationship because when we restrict certain foods, OK, maybe you've been told,
[00:05:30] and I'm not going to get super specific because there's so many different rules and regulations
[00:05:35] about food out there, but maybe you've been told that eating sugar is a bad thing.
[00:05:40] Right. And so then when we do that in our brains, it puts that sugar up on a pedestal.
[00:05:46] So when we put that sugar up on a pedestal, us humans, because we are human and we're not perfect,
[00:05:52] we have this other rebel side of us that's like, ooh, how am I going to get that?
[00:05:56] And when I get it, I'm going to eat all of it.
[00:05:58] And then I'm going to feel like crap and I'm going to shame myself because I'm not supposed to have it.
[00:06:02] So when we've taken it off the pedestal and maybe you're at a party, a holiday party,
[00:06:08] or I don't know, you're out to dinner or you're out with friends or you're on a date or whatever.
[00:06:12] And like, it sounds fun to have some dessert and you allow yourself to end up having it.
[00:06:17] Then you're going to want a lot more of it.
[00:06:19] So either a couple of things happen.
[00:06:20] One, you just shame yourself while you eat it the whole time, which we know by Mark
[00:06:25] David, who wrote the slow down diet book, which by the way, it's not a diet.
[00:06:29] It's just a way of eating.
[00:06:30] He teaches you what happens in your body when you shame food as you're eating it.
[00:06:35] The physical reaction actually slows down your digestion when you shame yourself
[00:06:40] while you're eating something.
[00:06:42] So when you're sitting there having some ice cream and you're like, oh, I
[00:06:44] shouldn't be having this.
[00:06:45] Oh my gosh, it's going to totally disrupt my hormones.
[00:06:47] Oh my gosh.
[00:06:49] Then your body is like, oh my God, danger.
[00:06:51] Yeah, we can't be eating this.
[00:06:52] So it's going to fight it essentially like fight it off.
[00:06:55] You're going to have got issues.
[00:06:56] You're not going to be able to adjust it.
[00:06:58] Well, it literally changes the way that your body reacts to food.
[00:07:01] And then another thing that can happen when you take that food off the pedestal
[00:07:05] is that you want more of it because you think, oh, well, all right,
[00:07:09] it's all out the window.
[00:07:10] I already ate some.
[00:07:11] So I'm going to eat everything tonight or maybe you're sensitive to gluten
[00:07:15] and you have a bite of it or you didn't realize there was gluten.
[00:07:19] You're like, well, eff it.
[00:07:21] I'm just going to have as much as I can tonight because it's going to hurt me
[00:07:23] anyway. It's this all or nothing standpoint.
[00:07:26] We put ourselves in when we put foods up on pedestals or we tell ourselves
[00:07:30] we're not supposed to eat it or something like that.
[00:07:32] That's where this like perfectionistic, rigid, right and wrong comes in.
[00:07:36] There's also the hyper controlled thinker.
[00:07:39] So chronic illness often makes you feel like your body's out of control, right?
[00:07:43] So food becomes the thing that you can control.
[00:07:46] But that control can become an obsession.
[00:07:50] Suddenly you're terrified of gluten or dairy or sugar or carbs.
[00:07:56] And then you start to become sensitive to them.
[00:08:01] So I'm actually going to share a little bit about my story with this.
[00:08:04] If you know anything about me, you know that I did struggle
[00:08:07] with the eating disorder prior, well, actually it was around the time
[00:08:10] of my chronic symptoms, it all went together.
[00:08:12] So it started from disordered eating of being a healthy person.
[00:08:18] And then it just went into a full blown eating disorder.
[00:08:20] But first and foremost, I was told by a functional practitioner that I went to to
[00:08:26] and this was like 10, 12 years ago when a lot of this was pretty new.
[00:08:31] Like gluten free stuff was not easily accessible and like the paleo diet was really new.
[00:08:35] And so I was put on the paleo diet.
[00:08:37] And because of my personality characteristics, because of how desperate
[00:08:42] I was to feel better, I was like, hell, yeah, I'll do anything.
[00:08:46] So I researched the shit out of it and I honored it to a freaking tea.
[00:08:51] I did everything.
[00:08:53] I didn't go out to eat.
[00:08:54] If I did, I brought my own food, literally I brought my own coconut
[00:08:58] aminos to sushi one time and I stopped drinking.
[00:09:01] I stopped doing so many things.
[00:09:02] Now I have to say some of that within reason and imbalance is not a bad thing.
[00:09:08] I am not discounting the nutritional value of food and that food can really nourish our bodies.
[00:09:13] But when we take it to the extreme, it creates so much fear.
[00:09:17] So I became so rigid, so fearful.
[00:09:19] I literally thought like I emailed my practitioner one time and I was like,
[00:09:23] this healthy ingredient has one, I don't even remember what it was,
[00:09:27] but like on the label, it has, you know, this percentage of this.
[00:09:32] Is that going to make me have my symptoms?
[00:09:34] Is that going to make me insert?
[00:09:36] I'm not going to share all my symptoms, but is that going to make me have these issues?
[00:09:39] And at the time I was working with my hormones, is that going to disrupt
[00:09:41] any hormones if I have this tiny little thing?
[00:09:44] Literally, I was so scared of ingredients and food.
[00:09:48] Now, guess what happened when I did that?
[00:09:50] I started to have more digestion issues.
[00:09:52] No shit.
[00:09:53] Now, on one hand, she did help me in many other ways.
[00:09:57] I have to say that there were a lot of things that she actually listened
[00:10:01] to me about and we figured out together at the same time.
[00:10:05] I still think putting someone on a rigid diet is not healthy unless.
[00:10:10] And I always say this, unless you have a very true allergy, right?
[00:10:14] If you are celiac, if you have a nut allergy, if you have a dairy allergy,
[00:10:18] like a true allergy, I'm not going to sit here and tell you to not honor that.
[00:10:23] So you have to do what's best for your body.
[00:10:25] But if you have been fine and I say, quote, fine, like OK with food.
[00:10:29] And then all of a sudden, you go down the route of getting tested
[00:10:32] for sensitivities and all this and like all this stuff comes up.
[00:10:34] It's going to create more fear and rigidity.
[00:10:36] And what I finally came to realize, actually, I realized I had a eating
[00:10:40] disorder after a while and I was like, OK, so we're going to heal this.
[00:10:43] And my relationship with food completely changed.
[00:10:45] And I'm forever grateful for that healing journey.
[00:10:48] And so my point here is that when you follow people that say
[00:10:54] you should do something, even when it's making you miserable,
[00:10:58] that's not the time to follow something.
[00:11:01] We have to learn to listen to ourselves a little bit more.
[00:11:03] And I actually just want this to be an educational piece of helping you
[00:11:06] understand that the way that we perceive and think about food
[00:11:12] changes how it digests in our body.
[00:11:15] And I'm going to probably say that so many different times throughout this episode.
[00:11:19] I feel like I'm getting really serious right now.
[00:11:22] Really heated because it's so important.
[00:11:24] I cannot tell you the amount of times.
[00:11:27] It's probably almost everyone I work with has some sort of
[00:11:30] disordered relationship with food or eating disorder,
[00:11:32] maybe because of their chronic health journey or maybe because of before it.
[00:11:36] So it's more about learning how to have a relationship with yourself
[00:11:43] and learning what foods might help you instead of what's going to harm you.
[00:11:49] So, yeah, eat more veggies, like eat a well balanced meal.
[00:11:54] Have all the food groups.
[00:11:57] Don't minimize, eat enough, eat what your body needs because that then will
[00:12:04] give you the best regulated nervous system.
[00:12:06] When you can give it enough, give it the amount of macros, calories,
[00:12:10] carbs, all the things that you actually need to feel safe so that your
[00:12:16] hormones settle, your cortisol levels settle.
[00:12:19] But don't go down the road of restricting every little thing and
[00:12:21] being super strict about your diet because the more fear and
[00:12:24] rigidity around food hurts you way more than actually the types of food
[00:12:29] that you're eating.
[00:12:30] All right.
[00:12:30] So I kind of alluded to this honestly within my story, but another
[00:12:34] personality characteristics of someone who might be more susceptible to
[00:12:38] disorder eating chronic illness is that people pleaser and self-sacrificer.
[00:12:43] Maybe you're someone who doesn't want to be a burden.
[00:12:46] You follow what the experts say, even when it's making you miserable.
[00:12:49] Or maybe someone tells you that your bloating is caused by toxins.
[00:12:53] So you might start avoiding entire food groups, even if deep down you feel worse.
[00:12:58] You also might be that highly sensitive person.
[00:13:01] Maybe you feel things deeply, including pain.
[00:13:04] And it makes sense that food might impact you differently too.
[00:13:08] But there's a difference between mindful eating and fear-based eating.
[00:13:13] And that's what I want to talk more about right now.
[00:13:15] A lot of people in the wellness space cross this line because, again,
[00:13:21] there's a lot of talk about food as medicine.
[00:13:23] And again, I fully honor that.
[00:13:25] And when we can use that of a place of self-love and nourishment,
[00:13:29] it is really wonderful, but it crosses the line all the time
[00:13:33] and if you're based eating.
[00:13:34] So let's talk about this.
[00:13:36] By the way, if you haven't seen, we are on YouTube and it's just
[00:13:40] like a plug for a second because I'm moving around night right now.
[00:13:42] So if you want to see me right now talking, I'm standing
[00:13:45] up, moving around.
[00:13:46] I talk with my hands.
[00:13:47] Maybe it's a little more interesting for you.
[00:13:49] Sometimes I'll do some somatic practices, but if you're listening
[00:13:53] and you just want to listen, great.
[00:13:54] Okay.
[00:13:55] The difference between mindful eating and fear-based eating is that
[00:14:00] at first glance, mindful eating and what I call fear-based eating
[00:14:04] can look very similar.
[00:14:05] So both involve being aware of what you eat, how you eat,
[00:14:10] and how foods affect your body.
[00:14:12] But the intention behind them is completely different.
[00:14:16] And that's where a lot of people cross the line.
[00:14:19] So what is mindful eating?
[00:14:20] Mindful eating is about tuning into your body and using curiosity
[00:14:25] rather than judgment when it comes to food choices.
[00:14:27] It's rooted in trust, self-awareness, and presence.
[00:14:31] You eat based on how your body feels, not rigid rules.
[00:14:35] You allow flexibility.
[00:14:37] There are no forbidden foods, just ones that make you feel good
[00:14:41] versus not good.
[00:14:42] Maybe you eat with joy and presence rather than stress.
[00:14:46] You honor your hunger and fullness cues rather than ignoring them.
[00:14:50] And what this means is you don't go longer than you need when you're hungry.
[00:14:54] So if there's a scale from zero to 10, we usually want to start eating
[00:14:58] when we're hungry around like a four to five, sometimes six.
[00:15:04] Not like, oh my gosh, I'm starving.
[00:15:07] I need to eat everything in sight.
[00:15:10] That's ignoring your hunger cues.
[00:15:13] And then we want to finish when we're eating, eating around a seven
[00:15:17] fullness or something like that instead of going way past our fullness cues.
[00:15:22] Overall, when you're mindfully eating, food is nourishment.
[00:15:26] It's not something to control, obsess over.
[00:15:28] And I have to tell you, I've had a very long journey with this.
[00:15:31] I mean, it's probably been about, yeah, oh my gosh, it's been
[00:15:35] about 10 years since I started addressing my eating disorder and healing from it.
[00:15:40] And I've gone through like so many phases with it.
[00:15:42] And I've actually now fully come to I really do eat in the place of like food
[00:15:47] is medicine. I eat foods that make my body feel good.
[00:15:50] And then like, yeah, I have some things that I want sometimes.
[00:15:53] Like the other night, Saturday night, I had a gelato.
[00:15:57] I had ice cream and it was really yummy because I was having a great time,
[00:16:01] you know, and I'm all good.
[00:16:03] And I have what I want throughout the week that makes my body feel good.
[00:16:07] Now, there was a long time that I couldn't do that because there was so
[00:16:09] many rigidity around it and like a fear and shame.
[00:16:12] It took time. I'm not saying it took 10 years to get there.
[00:16:14] I'm just saying it's been a journey.
[00:16:17] And if you're noticing you have this fear base, which I'm going to talk
[00:16:20] about in a second, it's really time to look at it.
[00:16:22] So what is fear based eating?
[00:16:24] Fear based eating comes from anxiety, control and rigid thinking about food.
[00:16:30] It's when eating turns into an act of avoidance rather than nourishment.
[00:16:35] So you might stress about every ingredient, fearing it will harm your health.
[00:16:40] Maybe you follow rigid rules, food rules, rather than listening to your body.
[00:16:45] Maybe you avoid entire food groups, not because they make you feel bad,
[00:16:49] but because you've been told that they're bad.
[00:16:50] You've been told they're going to do something to your body.
[00:16:52] You don't want it to do.
[00:16:53] Maybe you eat certain foods that causes guilt, shame or fear.
[00:16:57] Or maybe you feel like you constantly have to cleanse or detox from bad foods.
[00:17:03] And this is where, yeah, this is where the wellness culture crosses the line.
[00:17:08] It loves to disguise fear based eating as health consciousness.
[00:17:12] But here's the problem.
[00:17:13] When food choices are driven by fear instead of trust, it's not mindfully eating.
[00:17:18] It's a form of control.
[00:17:19] And when the message becomes avoid this or you'll get sick instead of listening to your body.
[00:17:25] People develop food anxiety instead of true well-being, right?
[00:17:28] It's like when we keep filling our buckets with what's negative or all that's all we're going to see.
[00:17:33] Avoid these foods.
[00:17:34] You'll get sick from this.
[00:17:35] You'll get sick from this non-organic.
[00:17:36] You'll get sick because these have these toxins and blah, blah, blah, blah.
[00:17:40] It's like fear mongering everywhere.
[00:17:42] Instead of like, what if we replace that with, hey, let's eat a well-balanced diet
[00:17:48] and eat these foods so you can listen to your body and maybe it might feel good.
[00:17:52] Try it out, right?
[00:17:53] Because every body's body is different.
[00:17:57] Truly, what might work for one person and what's going to feel good in their body
[00:18:00] and what their body's going to respond to is different than someone else.
[00:18:04] So we can't all follow the same thing.
[00:18:06] Another thing is that when every meal is about biohacking instead of enjoyment,
[00:18:10] we actually forget that food is supposed to be a source of pleasure and connection and culture, right?
[00:18:17] Food brings people together.
[00:18:18] Food has this amazing ability to bring creativity and life and love and
[00:18:25] yumminess and passion to our lives if we allow it.
[00:18:28] The thing is that many people who start with intuitive or mindful eating end up shifting
[00:18:33] into fear-based restriction without realizing it because in the wellness world,
[00:18:36] that line is very, very thin.
[00:18:38] So how do you know if you cross the line?
[00:18:41] I want you to ask yourself, one, do I make food choices from a place of love or fear?
[00:18:47] Two, do I feel free and flexible with food or do I feel restricted and anxious?
[00:18:53] Three, am I listening to my body or am I listening to strict food rules?
[00:18:59] And that might look like not only what you eat, but when you eat, right?
[00:19:03] There's a lot of talk about when you eat or yeah, right?
[00:19:06] Like don't eat late at night or maybe fast until midday or something like that.
[00:19:11] Again, this totally depends on the person and I'm not going to get too specific
[00:19:16] about all this because again, I don't want to put ideas in your head.
[00:19:19] I want you to know what your body wants.
[00:19:21] But some people truly actually do feel good when they eat a little bit later in the day.
[00:19:27] Some people need to get up and eat because their cortisol and hormones will drop
[00:19:33] and their blood sugar will drop if they don't.
[00:19:34] Like there's no right or wrong, it's just person to person.
[00:19:38] So if eating makes you feel stressed, fearful or like you're constantly doing it wrong,
[00:19:43] it's probably not mindful eating.
[00:19:45] It's fear-based eating in disguise and healing isn't about fear.
[00:19:49] It's about trust.
[00:19:51] I'm going to say that again, healing isn't about fear.
[00:19:54] It's about trust, learning to trust ourselves and our bodies.
[00:19:57] And I understand that that might feel so far from you right now.
[00:20:00] I get it.
[00:20:02] I mean, there's yeah, trust can be difficult when there's been a lot
[00:20:06] of body-based symptoms and things that's popped up.
[00:20:09] So totally and also this is exactly what I want to help you with
[00:20:14] because the more that you can learn about the power and wisdom your body has,
[00:20:19] the more you can trust it.
[00:20:20] And this is exactly what I talk about and what I teach you in the Mind Body Healing Method.
[00:20:27] The Mind Body Healing Method is a program, a group program that I created a couple years ago
[00:20:31] and it's specifically to help teach you how to get out of chronic symptoms,
[00:20:36] whether that's pain, gut issues, migraines, chronic illness, I see things like that.
[00:20:42] When you're stuck there, it can be so debilitating, right?
[00:20:44] So I help you understand the nervous system, understand your brain
[00:20:48] and understand the root, the beliefs and the emotions around your symptoms.
[00:20:54] And I've actually been really excited because I've been totally updating it.
[00:20:58] We're having a whole new version, like a Mind Body Healing 2.0
[00:21:01] that's going to be launching this May 2025.
[00:21:04] And so I would absolutely love to have you if you feel like this is the right fit.
[00:21:09] And if you want to sign up now, what you'll do is you'll click the link below,
[00:21:14] you'll sign up for our wait list.
[00:21:16] And when you're on that wait list, you'll get added to the list to be the first to know
[00:21:19] when it launches, when it's live.
[00:21:22] And then you'll get 50% off if you decide to join at that time.
[00:21:26] And in the meantime, if you want to go ahead and get started,
[00:21:29] you can go ahead and grab our self-paced Mind Body Healing Method
[00:21:33] and then you'll get completely updated when we go live.
[00:21:36] So if you have any questions about that, let me know.
[00:21:38] But find the link below to sign up.
[00:21:40] Now, let's talk about how chronic illness and disorder are eating mimic each other.
[00:21:45] So with chronic symptoms, a big reason Indian disorders go unnoticed
[00:21:50] in the chronic illness community is because they can look like regular chronic illness symptoms.
[00:21:54] So here's the crossover.
[00:21:56] One certain area, digestive issues, right?
[00:22:00] Like, I mean, totally, gut issues suck.
[00:22:04] I'm just going to say that if we're going to dive in to talking about it.
[00:22:08] OK, so a lot of people dealing with chronic illness or food sensitivities
[00:22:13] assume that certain foods are the enemy when in reality,
[00:22:16] their nervous system is stuck in fight or flight mode.
[00:22:18] Now, here's the science behind it.
[00:22:20] When your body perceives stress or danger, digestion slows down.
[00:22:24] So your body prioritizes survival over breaking down food.
[00:22:28] This is similar to when I talked about like shame and guilt changes how we digest food.
[00:22:33] When you're stuck in chronic dysregulated nervous system,
[00:22:37] literally your body is like, OK, well, we're in survival mode.
[00:22:39] So digestion isn't as important as just keeping you alive.
[00:22:43] So we don't really need that as much, which means that you have reduced stomach acid,
[00:22:47] slower motility and poor nutrient absorption.
[00:22:50] This can also lead to bloating, IBS like symptoms and food intolerances,
[00:22:55] even if the food isn't itself the problem.
[00:22:58] In Mark David's book, The Slow Down Diet,
[00:23:00] he explains how our stress around food and digestion actually creates more digestive issues.
[00:23:06] Because if you're eating while anxious,
[00:23:08] your body physically can't process food properly.
[00:23:11] And this is why some people react to food they were perfectly fine eating before.
[00:23:16] Not because the food is suddenly bad,
[00:23:18] but because their body is too stressed to digest it properly.
[00:23:22] So what do we do with this?
[00:23:24] We really learn how to slow down obsessively eliminating foods
[00:23:30] and focus on reducing nervous system stress around eating.
[00:23:34] And this isn't just around eating.
[00:23:36] It's changing the pace of your life.
[00:23:37] So you try some deep breathing before meals.
[00:23:41] You start eating in a more relaxed state
[00:23:43] and challenging the idea that food is something to fear.
[00:23:46] You get really curious around the idea that
[00:23:50] you don't have to restrict certain foods.
[00:23:54] No matter what you've been told, no matter what you've read.
[00:23:57] Mark David talks about when we're moving from thing to thing,
[00:24:01] we're eating in the car, we're eating in front of a show,
[00:24:03] we're eating during work.
[00:24:05] Our mind's focused elsewhere.
[00:24:06] Our body is not set up for full on digestion.
[00:24:10] So the more that you can practice eating
[00:24:12] in a slower, calmed, relaxed environment without distraction,
[00:24:16] it can help prime your saliva, which starts digestion.
[00:24:20] It can help prime your body to really be in that relaxed state
[00:24:23] to actually digest your food.
[00:24:24] Okay, another symptom that I want to talk about
[00:24:28] that also goes along with food disordered eating
[00:24:31] is anxiety and hyperfixation on symptoms.
[00:24:34] So this is one of the biggest reasons why people don't actually heal
[00:24:37] because they're constantly scanning for what's wrong.
[00:24:40] If you're checking in on every symptom after every meal,
[00:24:44] if you're analyzing every little body sensation,
[00:24:47] if you're convinced that that wrong food will set you back
[00:24:50] or you ate something earlier and you're like,
[00:24:52] I shouldn't have eaten that.
[00:24:53] That's why I feel fatigued.
[00:24:55] That's why I feel like crap.
[00:24:56] Your nervous system is in a state of hypervigilance
[00:24:59] and the body can't heal what's in a constant threat detection mode.
[00:25:02] So ironically, focusing so much on symptoms can actually make them worse
[00:25:07] because your body stays stuck in a loop of stress and inflammation.
[00:25:10] So when we can shift your focus from fear-based symptom tracking
[00:25:15] to rebuilding trust with your body and instead of obsessing over every food reaction
[00:25:20] by asking yourself, instead of like, what's wrong?
[00:25:23] How did this hurt me?
[00:25:25] Food must have caused these symptoms.
[00:25:26] You ask, how can I feel safer in my body today?
[00:25:30] I want that to be a question that you ask yourself all the time.
[00:25:34] How can I feel safer in my body today?
[00:25:38] Now we've talked kind of a lot about how a wellness culture
[00:25:44] can lead to disordered eating, but I want to just give a few more examples
[00:25:48] because it really kind of is a hotbed of disordered eating.
[00:25:51] And I don't want this episode to be a total like shaming wellness culture
[00:25:55] because I mean, I'm very much so in it.
[00:25:57] Like, this is my career.
[00:25:58] This is my job.
[00:25:59] This is my industry.
[00:26:00] You know, there's a lot of love and a lot of good in it.
[00:26:03] I just want you to be aware of what might be getting you stuck.
[00:26:07] Yeah.
[00:26:07] So when you hear things like this food is toxic
[00:26:10] or healing your gut means cutting out dairy, gluten, sugar,
[00:26:14] also joy and happiness when we eliminate these things.
[00:26:18] Maybe you hear that intermittent fasting is the key to longevity.
[00:26:22] But what if you're hungry at 9 a.m.?
[00:26:24] This stuff isn't bad in moderation,
[00:26:27] but when it comes anxiety inducing, it is a problem.
[00:26:30] And so a few key takeaways I want you to understand.
[00:26:34] Digestion starts in the mind.
[00:26:36] If you're eating in stress and fear,
[00:26:38] your body literally doesn't absorb nutrients properly.
[00:26:42] And pleasure matters.
[00:26:44] When you enjoy your food,
[00:26:45] your metabolism actually works better.
[00:26:48] And it's not just about oh, I enjoy the taste of that food.
[00:26:51] But when you can actually enjoy and be present with the food
[00:26:55] and fully believe it's not going to hurt you
[00:26:58] and furthermore not judge yourself
[00:27:00] or criticize yourself for having it,
[00:27:02] that's what I mean by pleasure.
[00:27:04] That's what I mean by present.
[00:27:06] We take away the judgment,
[00:27:07] take away the criticism.
[00:27:08] We take away the idea that it's going to hurt you
[00:27:10] and you enjoy it and it's something that your body likes.
[00:27:14] Yeah, you're going to feel great.
[00:27:16] We also want to make sure you're aware that
[00:27:18] rigid rules don't equal health.
[00:27:20] So the more stressed you are about food,
[00:27:22] the more your body suffers.
[00:27:23] The more stressed you are about your healing,
[00:27:25] the more your body suffers.
[00:27:27] We don't need to give you more.
[00:27:28] Well, yes, there are tools to help you totally.
[00:27:31] But if it's your only focus on life,
[00:27:33] to focus on the tools, that's counterintuitive.
[00:27:36] And I know sometimes there's like,
[00:27:38] sometimes things feel counterintuitive,
[00:27:42] meaning don't focus on this, but focus on this.
[00:27:45] Don't focus on this too much.
[00:27:46] But yes, you need to be consistent with your skills, right?
[00:27:48] Like, I get it.
[00:27:49] It can be kind of confusing.
[00:27:51] And it's an ebb and flow.
[00:27:53] Basically at the end of the day,
[00:27:55] we just want you to get out of the place of fear.
[00:27:58] I want you to reclaim your trust and food
[00:28:02] and your body without food, without fear,
[00:28:06] without spiraling into restriction.
[00:28:08] So I want you to ask yourself,
[00:28:11] are you making choices about food from love or fear?
[00:28:16] Are you focusing on your nervous system healing first?
[00:28:19] Is your body in survival mode?
[00:28:21] Because no perfect diet is going to fix it.
[00:28:24] I want you to start with relaxation,
[00:28:26] trust, and reducing food fear.
[00:28:29] And know that the root, seriously,
[00:28:31] the root is not the food.
[00:28:33] It's your brain and your nervous system response.
[00:28:36] I want you to ditch the perfectionism.
[00:28:38] Your body is not a project to be hacked
[00:28:40] and healing happens when we stop forcing it so hard.
[00:28:43] So again, if this episode resonated with you
[00:28:47] and you need support along the way,
[00:28:48] find the link below to sign up as one of our founding members
[00:28:51] for the new Mind Body Healing Method 2.0 launching in May.
[00:28:55] When you do, you'll be the first to know
[00:28:56] when it launches and get 50% off.
[00:28:59] And if this episode spoke to you
[00:29:01] and you thought about someone that might need to hear it,
[00:29:04] please share it with someone.
[00:29:05] Let's get this conversation going out there
[00:29:07] because healing should never feel like a punishment.
[00:29:10] Until next time, take care of yourself
[00:29:14] and remember your body is not broken.
[00:29:17] If this podcast means something to you,
[00:29:19] it would mean so much to me
[00:29:20] if you could do these couple things.
[00:29:22] One, go to the Heal With Grace Show page
[00:29:24] wherever you listen
[00:29:25] and tap the plus sign or click on the follow button
[00:29:28] so you don't miss an episode.
[00:29:30] It helps both of us out.
[00:29:31] While you're there, if you could give a five-star review
[00:29:34] so that this podcast can reach more people,
[00:29:37] it would mean so much to me
[00:29:38] so I can continue sharing episodes
[00:29:40] that help you as well as others.
[00:29:43] Thanks for listening
[00:29:44] and I hope this brings you hope on your journey.