5 Chronic Pain Myths

[00:00:00] Hey there, and welcome to Heal with Grace. I'm your host Grace Secker, and I'm a holistic
[00:00:05] licensed therapist and nervous system coach who believes that the chronic and often unseen
[00:00:10] symptoms you're living with are a sign of something deeper going on. A sign that your
[00:00:15] nervous system needs attention. In each episode, I'll share the science behind the most
[00:00:19] common chronic health disorders plus holistic health tips using mental, physical, and
[00:00:24] spiritual practices. You'll hear what I've learned in my journey and the true
[00:00:28] stories from our trusted guests so you can feel less alone in your experience and give
[00:00:33] yourself grace no matter what you're going through. So without further ado, settle in and
[00:00:37] get cozy. It's time to Heal with Grace.
[00:00:41] Hello, hello, friends. Welcome back to the Heal with Grace podcast. If you're tuning
[00:00:47] into this episode, I'm guessing you've been dealing with some sort of pain in your
[00:00:52] body, whether that's neck pain, back pain, fibromyalgia, weird pain that people cannot
[00:00:57] figure out and feeling like no one is giving you real answers. That is what I'm
[00:01:03] here to address today. You've probably been trying the meds, the stretches, the scans,
[00:01:08] the PT, you know, all the therapies, maybe even some expensive pillows that was
[00:01:12] designed by orthopedic geniuses, right, to help your neck, help your head while
[00:01:17] you sleep. And yet the pain is still there or maybe it moves around or it gets
[00:01:22] better for a while and then it flares up again for no clear reason. If any of
[00:01:27] this fits you, then you're in the right place. And maybe you've started to
[00:01:32] wonder, is it all in my head? Am I just broken? Am I doing something wrong? So if
[00:01:40] you're feeling that way, you're thinking that way, I'm going to stop you right
[00:01:43] there because you are not broken. Nothing is actually wrong with you. And
[00:01:48] the pain is not your fault. And I totally understand if you're like,
[00:01:52] yeah, obviously something is wrong with me. Don't tell me there's not. I'm not
[00:01:56] here saying your pain is not real. Your pain is 1000% real. The truth is that the
[00:02:03] traditional approach to pain is missing a massive piece of the puzzle. And it's
[00:02:08] keeping so many people stuck in this frustrating, exhausted loop. So today I'm
[00:02:14] going to clear up the five biggest myths about chronic pain that I hear all
[00:02:19] the time, whether it's from doctors, well-meaning family members or even from
[00:02:23] our inner critics. And then we're going to talk about what's actually true, what's
[00:02:29] actually hopeful and how you can start moving towards healing starting today.
[00:02:34] Are you ready? First, I'm going to just pause actually before we jump right in.
[00:02:40] And you know, if you've been here a while, you've heard a little bit of
[00:02:43] my story, but the reason why this is so important to me is because I
[00:02:47] dealt with very difficult chronic pain, debilitating pain for a while. And it kind
[00:02:53] of was on and off. So I'm going to just share a little bit to kind of give you an
[00:02:56] idea of what I'm talking about. And again, my story is specific to me.
[00:02:59] Like you have your specific symptoms in your story. You don't have to have the
[00:03:03] same symptoms as me for this approach to work for you and for your body to
[00:03:08] respond in the same ways. I mean, if I really look back in my history, I
[00:03:12] actually started having pain symptoms when I was like 12, 13 years old.
[00:03:16] I was in cheerleading. I was competitive and I didn't really understand. I just knew
[00:03:21] my body hurt, my hips hurt, my back hurt. And I couldn't understand why people would
[00:03:25] kind of talk to me about it and just explain that, oh, you're hypermobile
[00:03:29] and your hips are off sometimes and that's why. But that's not like that was
[00:03:33] actually never helpful because I never learned actually how to work with it.
[00:03:36] So I just quit. I just quit the things that I actually enjoyed but
[00:03:40] brought me pain. And you know, that happened kind of on and off
[00:03:44] until the middle of grad school. No, really the beginning of grad school.
[00:03:48] I dealt with horrible pain all over my body from my head to my toe. Like
[00:03:54] would go up and down my spine, neck pain, shoulder pain, back pain.
[00:03:58] A lot of them my hips at that time same as when I was younger.
[00:04:02] And yeah, I went from I did all the things. I went to all the doctors, all
[00:04:07] the PT, all the, I went to a yoga therapist. I went to everything and
[00:04:11] and to be honest, like they were all, they were all so helpful in their own
[00:04:14] ways. I never want to dismiss the work that
[00:04:17] someone's doing because they're doing the best that they can. I truly feel like
[00:04:20] the people I saw were doing the best that they could.
[00:04:22] You know, massage therapists and chiropractors, they did what they knew
[00:04:25] to do, right? And it helped manage, right? Like
[00:04:30] some way shape or form kind of helps symptom management.
[00:04:33] But I would still like go to sleep at night just crying myself to sleep
[00:04:37] because I didn't understand what was going on and how the hell am I
[00:04:40] 20, I think I was three years old in this amount of pain.
[00:04:45] And, you know, I was told so many things like, oh, you just shouldn't be doing
[00:04:48] yoga anymore. That's not great for hyper mobility. It's not great for your body
[00:04:52] or you can't do these movements or that movements. I mean, I was like, I was
[00:04:56] pretty bound to just some stretches and like PT movements.
[00:05:00] Now, this is an important part. From the outside,
[00:05:04] I probably looked just fine. Maybe some people close to me knew I dealt
[00:05:09] with some pain, but no one really knew because I kept it under wraps because I
[00:05:14] was like, well, no one understands me. So what's the point?
[00:05:17] And because there were some times where I truly could operate
[00:05:20] without pain, meaning like I was with friends and
[00:05:24] hanging out and I was okay, right? Maybe I hurt when I sit a little bit
[00:05:28] longer so I'd get up and move around. But it wasn't like,
[00:05:31] at least for me in my story, it wasn't like I couldn't walk or something
[00:05:34] like that. I was very functional in my life. I just couldn't do the
[00:05:37] movements that I wanted to do. I've always been a very active person
[00:05:41] and I wasn't able to do that. And I also just like
[00:05:46] sitting in class was miserable many times. So my point in sharing with this is
[00:05:52] that, yeah, I had actual real physical manifestations
[00:05:57] of pain. Like you could do an x-ray and show that I had a little bit of
[00:06:00] scoliosis in my spine. Yeah, my hips were totally off when I would go to
[00:06:03] the chiropractor and my neck was out of alignment and
[00:06:06] there are true real things that still happen to today.
[00:06:10] But it didn't mean, it doesn't mean my body still needs to have pain. That
[00:06:13] amount of pain that I was experiencing, that amount of discomfort
[00:06:17] and that's what I want to get across to you. That
[00:06:21] the reason, that's my dog, the reason that you are
[00:06:31] in this, the reason that I was in this, the root cause comes much more
[00:06:36] from what we understand about mental health, emotional health, nervous system
[00:06:39] health. So I'm going to put that there while
[00:06:43] we go into our myths and how I'm going to demystify them and
[00:06:46] help you understand actually what's going on in a body with chronic pain.
[00:06:51] And if you hear my dog running around outside or beside me, that's
[00:06:55] because he sees something outside that he really wants to get.
[00:06:59] Okay, myth number one, pain is purely physical.
[00:07:05] This is one we've all been taught. How could we not?
[00:07:09] Right? Like I understand, this takes like a total 180 of you
[00:07:13] trying to understand what do you mean it's not physical, it is physical, right?
[00:07:16] So okay, yes it is physical, but the root, the reason behind it being
[00:07:22] physical is not physical. So we've been taught that
[00:07:27] pain means something that is only physically wrong, right?
[00:07:31] So we scan, we poke, we prod, we treat the tissues.
[00:07:35] But what research is actually showing us now is that pain is not just a body
[00:07:39] issue, it's a brain, nervous system, and emotional
[00:07:43] issue. Now I want to be super clear again, that
[00:07:46] doesn't mean your pain isn't real. It means your brain is playing a much
[00:07:49] bigger role than what we thought. So in fact, your brain
[00:07:53] is kind of like a security system, its job is to keep you safe.
[00:07:58] But sometimes that system gets too sensitive and it starts to sound the alarm
[00:08:03] even when there's no real danger. And this is where something like a modality
[00:08:09] which I'm trained in, like pain reprocessing therapy,
[00:08:12] where PRT for short comes in, it helps us retrain the brain to turn down that
[00:08:17] overly sensitive alarm system. Not only does it help change the
[00:08:21] brain, but we also know bottom up-wise when we talk about the body,
[00:08:25] we have to help the body release stored emotion and trauma.
[00:08:29] Because what's happening is it's stored in our bodies and our brains are saying
[00:08:31] danger, danger. So I'm going to send some signals of danger to the physical
[00:08:35] body because it's safer to feel physical pain than it is emotional
[00:08:40] or any kind of experience of trauma that our nervous system
[00:08:44] deemed as dangerous. And when we work
[00:08:48] with this, when we treat pain from a non-physical standpoint,
[00:08:53] the results are actually pretty wild. In one study, 66% of people with chronic
[00:08:58] back pain were pain-free, pain-free, truly, or nearly pain-free
[00:09:03] after just a few weeks of PRT. Not because they fixed their spine,
[00:09:08] actually not because they were treated physically at all,
[00:09:11] but because they changed their brain's interpretation of the signals.
[00:09:15] So yeah, this isn't just in your head. You're not just making this up.
[00:09:18] This isn't the negative connotation of psychosomatic,
[00:09:21] but your head definitely matters. So when I was in grad school, I finally,
[00:09:26] very, very, very gratefully was referred by a naturopath I was seeing
[00:09:30] to a psychologist. He saw me for a while and after I think he kind of
[00:09:35] saw my patterns and nothing was working, he was like,
[00:09:37] I think you need to go see this psychologist that I know.
[00:09:40] It specializes in this work. And mind you, at the time I was in school
[00:09:45] to be a counselor, but we don't talk about this at all.
[00:09:48] No one discusses this. So I had absolutely no idea this connection.
[00:09:52] So, and of course at the time I was like, I'll do anything.
[00:09:54] And sure, great. New psychologist. Within six months of working with her,
[00:09:58] and she did a lot of this work that I'm talking about,
[00:10:01] about 90 to 95% of my pain went away,
[00:10:05] truly away and it actually hasn't come back. There have been times where I've had
[00:10:09] random kind of things pop up in times of stress for sure,
[00:10:12] but I know how to work with it and I move through it.
[00:10:16] But I don't have that type of pain and I'm not restricted by pain anymore.
[00:10:20] And that is why I'm so passionate about this work and that's exactly why I do what I do.
[00:10:24] So myth number two, more meds, surgeries or physical therapy will fix it.
[00:10:30] Yeah, no. And I will say this one hurts my heart a little bit
[00:10:36] because so many people are doing all the things and still not getting better.
[00:10:40] And I have to say, I know some wonderful practitioners out there
[00:10:44] and I love them and the work that they do.
[00:10:47] But when your pain becomes something that is chronic like this,
[00:10:50] that modality is not going to actually help you.
[00:10:53] And when people, when you keep going to all the different physical modalities
[00:10:58] and it doesn't get better, then eventually,
[00:11:01] even if you're not conscious of it, you end up blaming yourself.
[00:11:03] But here's the thing, if your pain is being driven by a neural circuit,
[00:11:09] not a structural issue.
[00:11:10] And when I say neural circuit, I'm talking about the brain.
[00:11:13] Our brain has certain circuits within our brain that is stuck in survival mode,
[00:11:21] essentially, and is stuck in this pattern of pain.
[00:11:24] And that's not a structural issue in your body.
[00:11:27] That's a brain neurochemistry issue.
[00:11:30] And when this is the case, physical treatments alone might not actually do much
[00:11:34] because they're only treating the body when the signal is actually coming from the brain.
[00:11:39] That doesn't mean that meds or PT are bad.
[00:11:42] I never say that.
[00:11:43] It's just that they're not working for what you're experiencing.
[00:11:47] And it doesn't mean you're not broken.
[00:11:49] I mean, it doesn't mean you're broken.
[00:11:51] It means something deeper is going on.
[00:11:53] Your nervous system is stuck in a pattern of fear,
[00:11:57] intention, and hypervigilance.
[00:12:00] And the most powerful healing doesn't come from doing more.
[00:12:04] It comes from doing things differently.
[00:12:07] From calming the nervous system, getting us out of fight or flight,
[00:12:13] from retraining the brain and using new neural pathways,
[00:12:18] and by creating safety in the body instead of just chasing symptoms.
[00:12:25] Spoiler alert, you don't have to figure this out alone.
[00:12:29] It's literally what I do every day to help people.
[00:12:31] And I really hope that this is helping you.
[00:12:33] Myth number three, pain means damage.
[00:12:38] So you need to protect your body.
[00:12:42] This one gets so many people stuck.
[00:12:44] We feel pain.
[00:12:45] We automatically think, okay, I must have hurt myself.
[00:12:47] I need to be careful.
[00:12:48] I shouldn't move.
[00:12:49] I should rest forever and wrap myself up in bubble wrap.
[00:12:52] Or maybe you've been told that you have damage, right?
[00:12:55] You have a bulge disc or a herniated disc.
[00:12:57] Or you have some tissue damage or something along those lines.
[00:13:01] Again, though, studies show us that pain and damage are not always connected.
[00:13:06] Specifically, when it comes to spinal issues,
[00:13:10] like disc bulges or herniated discs,
[00:13:12] did you know that over 60% of people with no back pain at all
[00:13:17] have disc bulges or abnormalities on their MRI?
[00:13:20] So if you have pain and someone points to a disc or a spot on your scan,
[00:13:24] how do we even know that's the cause?
[00:13:26] We don't, actually.
[00:13:28] Because pain is not just what's there on a physical level.
[00:13:31] It's what the brain believes is dangerous.
[00:13:34] So two people with the same herniated disc or disc bulge in their spine,
[00:13:38] you can literally see them on a scan, on an x-ray.
[00:13:42] The same x-rays, one person has pain and one does it.
[00:13:47] Now that doesn't make sense, right?
[00:13:49] And this is just an example of many people deal with things like disc bulge
[00:13:53] or just herniated discs or things like that.
[00:13:56] But it doesn't mean that you need to have pain associated with it.
[00:14:00] This is what we call a neuroplastic pain loop.
[00:14:04] And it can be rewired.
[00:14:06] We can literally teach your brain that this is safe, this is okay.
[00:14:11] You don't need protection here anymore.
[00:14:13] And no, you don't have to force it.
[00:14:15] We do it gently and we do it with support.
[00:14:17] We rebuild trust in your body one step at a time.
[00:14:21] So essentially, every single person on this planet, every human,
[00:14:26] will have some sort of abnormality in their spine as they get older.
[00:14:31] That's aging.
[00:14:32] But you don't have to have pain with it.
[00:14:35] But it's just, it's a normal story, right?
[00:14:38] As you get older, you have aches and pains and blah, blah, blah, right?
[00:14:43] And I don't mean that doing this work,
[00:14:45] then you're going to feel perfect all the time.
[00:14:47] That's not the goal.
[00:14:48] And that's not realistic either because we're not perfect human beings.
[00:14:52] We are imperfect.
[00:14:54] And so really, our body is just talking to us, sending us messages like,
[00:14:58] hey, this is not okay.
[00:15:00] Something's going on here.
[00:15:01] And I'm just going to send you, keep sending you messages all day long of pain
[00:15:05] until you look at what's underneath the surface.
[00:15:09] So moral of this story of this myth is that actually it's very normal
[00:15:15] to have abnormalities in your spine or physical.
[00:15:19] And I'm going to put in quotes, like big quotes, damage,
[00:15:22] because it's actually not damage.
[00:15:23] It's just normal.
[00:15:25] But it's normal to have different types of dis-ease, if you will, in your body.
[00:15:32] But again, it doesn't mean we need to have a bunch of symptoms
[00:15:34] and pain associated with it.
[00:15:36] So myth number four is that you just have to live with it.
[00:15:40] Chronic is chronic, right?
[00:15:42] So the Western medical community doesn't actually, they just put chronic
[00:15:45] on something when they don't really know what to do with it.
[00:15:48] When all it is is symptom management.
[00:15:50] But I'm here telling you that it doesn't have to be just symptom management.
[00:15:53] You can truly heal and treat and not have to have pain like you do anymore.
[00:15:58] So I really actually hate this one.
[00:15:59] I hate this kind of diagnosis because it doesn't allow for actual healing and treatment.
[00:16:06] If someone told you, sorry, it's chronic, you'll just have to manage it forever.
[00:16:10] I just want to lovingly say no.
[00:16:12] Nope.
[00:16:13] Try again.
[00:16:15] Chronic doesn't mean permanent.
[00:16:17] It means persistent.
[00:16:20] And persistence doesn't mean you're doomed.
[00:16:23] It usually means your brain has learned a pattern
[00:16:25] and no one ever taught you how to unlearn it.
[00:16:28] Neuroplasticity means your brain is always changing,
[00:16:32] which means pain is changeable too.
[00:16:35] I'm going to repeat that.
[00:16:37] Neuroplasticity.
[00:16:39] Neuroplasticity, which is the ability for our brains to change.
[00:16:44] So long time ago, it was kind of thought that, oh, you hit like 25 years old
[00:16:49] and your brain is just stuck that way.
[00:16:51] No, we very much so know now our brain are totally adaptable.
[00:16:55] And that's when we change neural circuits.
[00:16:57] So it means that your brain is always changing.
[00:17:00] So the patterns that your brain has developed to get you into pain
[00:17:05] or put you into pain totally means it's reversible.
[00:17:07] It's totally changeable.
[00:17:09] And it has nothing to do with how long you've had pain,
[00:17:11] even if you've had it for five, 10, 20 years,
[00:17:14] even if other people don't understand it.
[00:17:17] And even if it feels hard to hope, there is another way
[00:17:22] and you don't have to do it alone.
[00:17:25] Myth number five, resting is weak
[00:17:31] and that you need to push through it to get better.
[00:17:33] So many of you have been stuck in this belief,
[00:17:36] especially my perfectionists, my high achievers, my I can't slow down people.
[00:17:41] I get it. I was that person.
[00:17:43] And all you're doing is trying all the things all the time.
[00:17:47] You're trying to be the perfect healer.
[00:17:49] You're eating better or trying to eat in a certain way.
[00:17:52] So you're super clean.
[00:17:53] You're moving with your body as best that you can
[00:17:56] with the tools that you've been given to help manage.
[00:17:58] You're taking the supplements.
[00:18:00] You're going to yoga.
[00:18:02] If you can, you're doing the things that you want to do
[00:18:05] or you think you should do, but it's not necessarily working
[00:18:09] and not doing anything feels weak, right?
[00:18:13] But here's the thing.
[00:18:15] Healing isn't about pushing harder.
[00:18:17] It's about regulating better.
[00:18:19] Rest is not weak.
[00:18:21] Slowing down is actually the way to retrain.
[00:18:25] And it actually is the way to tell your nervous system.
[00:18:28] It's okay to soften.
[00:18:31] It's okay to slow down and I'm safe now.
[00:18:34] And sometimes this looks a lot more mentally than physically
[00:18:36] because if you are in a lot of pain
[00:18:38] and you're not rushing around doing a bunch of things,
[00:18:41] your mind is.
[00:18:42] Your mind is on a hamster wheel and talking to you all the time,
[00:18:46] criticizing you, judging you, telling you you're not doing enough.
[00:18:50] That's actually the biggest place where I want you to slow down
[00:18:53] is within your mind.
[00:18:54] Learn how to speak to yourself with compassion and grace and love.
[00:18:59] It's really what your body needs is so much love and compassion.
[00:19:03] And that you don't have to earn the rest by being in pain first.
[00:19:08] You don't have to prove your worth by pushing through
[00:19:13] and doing everything you think you should be doing.
[00:19:17] In fact, pushing through it is what keeps most people stuck.
[00:19:22] Your body is trying to talk to you.
[00:19:24] And when you stop pushing and start listening,
[00:19:28] that's when things shift.
[00:19:30] So I first want to call out that if any of these myths have been
[00:19:33] looping in your head, if you've been living in fear
[00:19:37] or fighting your body, or thinking this is just your life now,
[00:19:41] I want you to know that it doesn't have to be this way.
[00:19:44] So I've actually created a free resource called
[00:19:46] the Chronic Pain Relief Kit that I would love for you to start with.
[00:19:50] It's below in the show notes under resources from me.
[00:19:53] And you can download it, work through it.
[00:19:56] There's a little bit of information.
[00:19:58] There's a little bit of information.
[00:19:59] There's a quiz that you can take to make sure this modality fits you
[00:20:02] and that you kind of align with this.
[00:20:03] Your pain aligns with what I'm talking about.
[00:20:06] And then I guide you through these myths audio practice wise.
[00:20:10] And then you also get a free video to explain
[00:20:13] how to get started in this work.
[00:20:15] And again, if you've listened to this at all,
[00:20:18] all I want to share is this work,
[00:20:20] is the mission behind understanding our bodies
[00:20:24] and mind and body and knowing that you can get out of it.
[00:20:27] That there really is a path to healing that's grounded in science,
[00:20:31] compassion and the nervous system.
[00:20:34] And that you don't have to do it perfectly.
[00:20:35] There is no perfect at all.
[00:20:38] And that, no, you're not broken.
[00:20:40] You're just ready for a new story.
[00:20:43] So go ahead and download that Chronic Pain Relief Kit.
[00:20:46] I really hope that it helps you.
[00:20:48] It's something that I just created out of this work.
[00:20:51] And I know actually that it will help you
[00:20:53] if you get started with it.
[00:20:55] And if you're curious about how I support people in this work
[00:20:59] at all beyond that relief kit,
[00:21:01] I've got some amazing resources and programs
[00:21:04] and one-to-one support options
[00:21:05] that walk you through this process step by step.
[00:21:08] So you can find that below as well.
[00:21:12] I offer private sessions
[00:21:13] as well as my mind, body, healing method group,
[00:21:16] which we are about to start very soon here.
[00:21:19] I have a whole new updated 2.0 program.
[00:21:22] And I'm so excited.
[00:21:23] Oh my gosh, there's so much in here.
[00:21:26] We're going to have some guest experts come in.
[00:21:28] You're going to get so many videos and information links.
[00:21:31] And I very genuinely and gently guide you through this process.
[00:21:35] So if you are interested in that as well,
[00:21:37] you can send me a DMM
[00:21:39] or you can sign up on the wait list below.
[00:21:40] And when you sign up on the wait list,
[00:21:42] you will actually get 50% off once we launch
[00:21:47] as a founding member of the new and updated program.
[00:21:50] Okay, so if this episode spoke to you,
[00:21:54] I'd love if you would share it with a friend
[00:21:55] who needs to hear this message today as well.
[00:21:58] And remember, healing is not only possible,
[00:22:02] it is truly your birthright.
[00:22:05] All right, I will see you next time
[00:22:07] and keep healing with Grace.
[00:22:10] If this podcast means something to you,
[00:22:12] it would mean so much to me
[00:22:13] if you could do these couple things.
[00:22:15] One, go to the Heal with Grace show page
[00:22:17] wherever you listen
[00:22:18] and tap the plus sign or click on the follow button
[00:22:21] so you don't miss an episode.
[00:22:22] It helps both of us out.
[00:22:24] While you're there,
[00:22:25] if you could give a five star review
[00:22:27] so that this podcast can reach more people,
[00:22:30] it would mean so much to me
[00:22:31] so I can continue sharing episodes
[00:22:33] that help you as well as others.
[00:22:35] Thanks for listening
[00:22:36] and I hope this brings you hope on your journey.