The Emotional Roots of Physical Symptoms

[00:00:00] Hey there and welcome to Heal with Grace. I'm your host Grace Secker and I'm a holistic
[00:00:05] licensed therapist and nervous system coach who believes that the chronic and often unseen
[00:00:10] symptoms you're living with are a sign of something deeper going on. A sign that your
[00:00:14] nervous system needs attention. In each episode I'll share the science behind the most
[00:00:19] common chronic health disorders plus holistic health tips using mental, physical and
[00:00:24] spiritual practices. You'll hear what I've learned in my journey and the true stories
[00:00:28] from our trusted guests so you can feel less alone in your experience and give
[00:00:33] yourself grace no matter what you're going through. So without further ado,
[00:00:37] settle in and get cozy. It's time to Heal with Grace. Welcome back to the Heal
[00:00:42] with Grace podcast. I am so glad that you are here. Today's conversation might
[00:00:48] land a little bit differently. It's tender, it's validating and it might
[00:00:51] crack something open. So take a deep breath, tune in, allow the messages here to
[00:01:03] really settle into your body, into your nervous system. I want you to feel what
[00:01:11] it's like to be in your body as you go through and reflect on what we're
[00:01:17] talking about today, about the emotional components of your physical health.
[00:01:22] Notice if you're having a little bit of resistance or hesitation or criticism
[00:01:28] around what I'm going to share with you. There's no right or wrong, nothing bad
[00:01:32] about that. Just be curious. I ask you to be open and curious and maybe let
[00:01:38] this be an episode for a moment where you're not trying to do or fix anything.
[00:01:44] You're just here. You're just listening with me, with yourself. Here's the truth.
[00:01:48] So many of us are doing all the right things. Therapy, stretching,
[00:01:55] breath work, clean eating, supplements, ice rolling our faces into oblivion and
[00:02:00] still waking up in pain or feeling like we're walking through molasses. And what's
[00:02:04] often missed is the emotional weight the body is carrying. And I can very much
[00:02:10] so personally speak to this as well. I feel like it's been like layers and layers
[00:02:15] and layers of healing as years go on. And when I really drop into this message
[00:02:20] and work with the emotional state of my body and what's there, it's usually
[00:02:26] the biggest impact. But I keep forgetting it sometimes. I'm like, oh, I
[00:02:30] need to do this and I need to do that. And I'm doing all the things. And then
[00:02:34] I forget like, actually, I don't need to do all those things. I just need
[00:02:37] to pay attention to my emotions and my belief systems. So that's that's what
[00:02:40] I'm going to talk to you about today. Like actually, why is that true? What's
[00:02:43] the science behind it? We're talking about not just like these big tea
[00:02:47] traumas that happen in life that we know can lead to physical illness, but
[00:02:51] the everyday, the quiet, the chronic emotional repression, the feelings
[00:02:56] we didn't have time, space or safety for. And so we're going there
[00:03:00] today. I'm going to walk you through what the research says about
[00:03:03] emotions and physical health, the sneaky belief systems that keep you stuck
[00:03:07] in symptom loops, the emotional signatures that show up in different
[00:03:11] parts of the body and why you learn to repress your emotions. Finally, I'm
[00:03:16] going to guide you through a little practice to help you gently listen to
[00:03:19] what your body is holding. So I highly recommend saving this episode so
[00:03:23] that you can always come back to it. Whether you've been dealing with
[00:03:26] chronic fatigue, gut issues, pelvic pain, mystery symptoms, fibromyalgia,
[00:03:31] chronic pain here or there, and no one seems to have the answers for it.
[00:03:35] This is very, very much for you. So let's start with the science
[00:03:40] because it's not all woo-woo. Though we love a little woo here and there,
[00:03:45] right? And to be honest, I don't even really want to say that term,
[00:03:47] like, and very much so in the physical, emotional, mental, spiritual
[00:03:50] space. So much though, I haven't even really shared all of my healing
[00:03:55] practices on the spiritual side and I will probably get there. But this
[00:03:59] is not that. This is truly what's going on mind and body. So first
[00:04:05] and foremost, back in the 1970s and 80s, Dr. John Sarno started
[00:04:10] noticing something strange. He's the founder of what he called
[00:04:15] tension myositis syndrome, what we now know as we call neuroplastic
[00:04:20] symptoms or syndromes. So he was treating patients for chronic
[00:04:24] back pain. And many of them showed no abnormalities on imaging.
[00:04:30] Nothing that would explain the intensity of their pain. What he
[00:04:33] did find was a common emotional thread, rage, stress, pressure and
[00:04:41] grief. So he coined the term tension myositis syndrome or TMS
[00:04:48] because this is where physical symptoms were being caused by
[00:04:51] emotional tension. The brain in an effort to protect the
[00:04:55] person from emotional overwhelm was creating physical pain as a
[00:04:59] distraction. Wild, right? But it worked. People who began to
[00:05:04] express to feel and to acknowledge those hidden emotions
[00:05:08] started to feel better, sometimes dramatically better. And this
[00:05:12] is what kicked off a big part of this movement. And then now
[00:05:15] we're seeing in the past five to 10 years, like a whole new
[00:05:19] movement of that where some of these people that worked with
[00:05:21] Dr. Sarno have been bringing this workout for a long time.
[00:05:25] And now it's becoming even more and more widely known,
[00:05:27] which is just amazing. Then came Dr. Gabor Mate, whose work has
[00:05:33] been transformational for so many of us in the field. His book
[00:05:37] when the body says no, looks at the link between chronic
[00:05:40] illness and emotional suppression, especially in
[00:05:43] people who are highly empathetic, highly functional and
[00:05:47] highly avoidant of conflict. He talks about the disease
[00:05:52] prone personality. And it's not because you're to blame,
[00:05:56] but because your body has been adapting to your emotional
[00:05:59] environment for years, which causes some of these personality
[00:06:03] characteristics. There's other people like Howard Schuberner,
[00:06:06] who is the co founder of emotional awareness and
[00:06:09] expressive therapy, which by the way, he's coming on the
[00:06:11] podcast. So stay tuned. And he teaches emotional expression
[00:06:17] to heal chronic symptoms, teaches therapists, teaches
[00:06:20] clients, does really amazing work in this space and takes a
[00:06:24] lot of what he knows now from Dr. John Sarno's work. There's
[00:06:29] also Nicole Sacks, who took Sarno's work, who actually worked
[00:06:32] with him and said, Okay, this is wonderful. But how do we
[00:06:35] actually feel all this repressed stuff? She created a
[00:06:39] practice called journal speak, which I've actually talked
[00:06:41] about on here, where you just write exactly what you're
[00:06:44] feeling raw, unfiltered, angry, messy, tender for about 20
[00:06:50] minutes a day. And the goal is to give the unspoken
[00:06:53] emotions of voice. So the body doesn't have to scream. So yes,
[00:06:59] emotional repression shows up in the body. And when we don't
[00:07:04] acknowledge what's inside our body takes a hit. So let's look at
[00:07:09] exactly how this plays out in the body. I'm going to say the
[00:07:13] term TMS like tension myocytus syndrome, or neuroplastic
[00:07:16] symptoms as synonymous of the same thing, just FYI. But
[00:07:20] specifically, if you've ever had something like TMJ that flares
[00:07:24] when you're holding in frustration or gut issues when
[00:07:27] you're around people who make you feel small or when you're
[00:07:30] stressed or didn't get enough sleep, or maybe you've had neck
[00:07:33] pain when you're carrying invisible emotional weight. Here
[00:07:37] are a few emotional patterns I see over and over and over
[00:07:42] again in my work, and is very much so shown and a lot more
[00:07:46] like Eastern modalities of understanding the different
[00:07:50] emotional centers and the body and organs associated with
[00:07:53] emotions and different parts of the body is associated with
[00:07:56] emotions. So this can be really helpful when you're like, okay,
[00:07:59] like I understand this concept, but I don't even know how to
[00:08:02] get in touch with emotions. I don't even know what I'm
[00:08:04] feeling or I have no idea what's there. So this can just
[00:08:07] give you a suggestion as to okay, if you have these parts
[00:08:11] of your body that feel pain or feel symptoms, you might and
[00:08:16] I'm going to say might because not everyone is the same, right,
[00:08:20] but you might have some of these emotions. So, for example,
[00:08:24] repressed anger a lot of times shows up as chronic physical
[00:08:29] pain, jaw tension, migraines, and even autoimmune flares.
[00:08:36] Anger is a mobilizing energy. When it's turned inward
[00:08:40] instead of outward, it creates a kind of emotional
[00:08:43] combustion, if you will. So anger really has this sense of
[00:08:48] like force, right? It can be really positive and they can
[00:08:53] help bring some motivation and energy. But again, if we suppress
[00:08:57] it, it's like we're holding on to this fire of neglect
[00:09:04] within us. And repressed anger is a very big one, we all
[00:09:09] have it. We all all have it, especially if you're sitting
[00:09:11] there like anger, I don't feel anger. Yeah, you do. You do.
[00:09:16] You're just not aware and you were never taught how to do it
[00:09:19] safely. So you just pushed it away. Grief. Grief tends to
[00:09:23] settle in the lungs and the chest. It can feel like pressure,
[00:09:30] like you can't quite breathe deeply. It often leads to
[00:09:33] fatigue, not just physical, but emotional heaviness, like
[00:09:37] deep, deep, bone dense fatigue. I remember when I was
[00:09:40] going through my divorce, the first time I felt like intense
[00:09:44] grief. Yeah, I had a huge fatigue there. I mean, I was in and
[00:09:48] out of that. But to be honest, I didn't truly connect the dots
[00:09:51] at that time. I should have done this podcast at that time.
[00:09:56] Shame, a big one often shows up in the gut, nausea, bloating,
[00:10:02] IBS, pelvic pain, icy. Shame is a collapsing emotion. It
[00:10:09] pulls us inward and down and the gut responds. You know that like
[00:10:14] sinking feeling in your gut when you recognize maybe you made a
[00:10:18] mistake or you accidentally did something wrong or maybe you're
[00:10:20] afraid of doing something wrong? That ends up being shame when
[00:10:24] we feel it on that deep level. And shame is one of those
[00:10:29] sensations and emotions that can really wreak havoc on our
[00:10:33] bodies. I mean, it's shown time and time again, people like
[00:10:36] Brené Brown and Kristin Neff talk about shame resiliency all the
[00:10:40] time and how it can really break us out of a dark pattern when we
[00:10:46] can work with shame and heal shame. Fear and hypervigilance. This
[00:10:51] is really common in clients with things like pelvic pain, bladder
[00:10:56] issues or tension patterns in the hips, SI, hip patterns,
[00:11:01] joint issues around there. If you think about it, the body is
[00:11:05] bracing. It's scanning and holding even when the quote unquote
[00:11:10] threat is long gone. We hold a lot of tension and emotion and
[00:11:15] fear and hypervigilance and our hips and our pelvic area. And
[00:11:20] especially when you've had years and years of pelvic issues,
[00:11:23] there's probably a long pattern of being fearful,
[00:11:27] hypervigilant, because maybe there was an unpredictable
[00:11:30] environment around you or a family member or a partner
[00:11:34] that you had to brace for because you couldn't fully release
[00:11:37] and be yourself around. Those are just some examples, but think
[00:11:41] of like bracing, scanning, holding that like freeze response
[00:11:45] in the nervous system. So there are some beliefs that a lot of
[00:11:49] us have in common when dealing with chronic issues, chronic
[00:11:51] physical issues, beliefs like I'm not safe, I'm too much, or
[00:11:55] I can't rest. These live in the nervous system. And remember,
[00:11:59] beliefs are not always conscious. They're very
[00:12:01] unconscious. But these beliefs wire us into sympathetic
[00:12:05] overdrive or that fight or flight, or into dorsal collapse
[00:12:09] freeze. So you may not even notice them because you're so
[00:12:12] familiar. They feel like you, but they're not you. They're
[00:12:16] very much so not you. It's just they've been so normal and
[00:12:19] you're unconscious for so long. But really what they are is
[00:12:23] adaptations. They're adaptations for your nervous
[00:12:25] system to keep you safe. These emotional patterns aren't
[00:12:28] random. They're maps. And your symptoms can be clues, not
[00:12:33] curses. So I want you to reflect on these different areas
[00:12:37] right now, maybe some of the emotions or the beliefs that
[00:12:40] I brought up and really reflect on like, Okay, does that make
[00:12:42] sense for me? Does that feel like that resonate in my body
[00:12:45] when I say that? Does it resonate when, you know, if
[00:12:49] I'm having tension or pain in my shoulder, is it possible
[00:12:53] to have some repressed anger? And maybe it doesn't even
[00:12:58] fully make logical sense, but I guarantee you it's there. So
[00:13:01] let me give you an example of this. So like someone who grew
[00:13:04] up in a family who seemed quote unquote, fine, especially
[00:13:08] from the outside, I don't know, everything was somewhat
[00:13:10] normal. You know, you strived in school, you got somewhat
[00:13:15] along with your siblings and your parents had a job and
[00:13:20] pretty much provided you with what you needed fine on the
[00:13:23] outside. But when you look back and you start to
[00:13:26] learn, you recognize, actually, you were really never
[00:13:30] attuned to emotionally, like you really needed to be, you
[00:13:33] never learned what safe emotions were. You never
[00:13:35] actually learned how to be vulnerable with your own
[00:13:38] self, with your family, how to really embrace the
[00:13:42] person that you are, not to strive for perfection, or
[00:13:48] for productivity to actually be accepted. Because there
[00:13:51] were these unspoken rules in your family that you did
[00:13:53] learn about how to be when in reality, it didn't actually
[00:13:57] work for you. The biggest one here is that you probably
[00:14:01] were ignored on emotional level, and not creates anger, but
[00:14:05] you were never learned how to feel that ever, or maybe
[00:14:10] someone in your family did get angry, but it was a really
[00:14:12] scary angry. And so we just internalized anger is bad. So
[00:14:16] you never actually learned how to express it. But anger
[00:14:19] is a really wonderful expression. It can be, right? It's
[00:14:24] just that it gets scary when people abuse it, but anger
[00:14:27] is normal, anger is natural, it's mobilizing, it's
[00:14:29] energetic, it's that fire within you that can motivate
[00:14:32] you to get things done or to make something known that
[00:14:35] you feel right about, right, or that you're like
[00:14:38] trying to advocate for. So I hope that helps you
[00:14:41] underspent anger a little bit more. So why do we do
[00:14:45] all of this? Why do we hold it all in? And I
[00:14:48] mentioned it a little bit in my example, but basically
[00:14:50] it's because of some at some point it was safer to
[00:14:52] suppress them to push them down and to feel them. Many
[00:14:56] of us were raised in environments where emotions
[00:14:58] were ignored. They were minimized or punished. Maybe
[00:15:01] we're told, stop being dramatic. Don't cry. Or I'll
[00:15:05] give you something to cry about. Be strong. Make
[00:15:08] good grades. Be easy. Don't be too much. Only be
[00:15:14] small. Don't make too much of a fuss. Don't ask
[00:15:17] too many questions. Play it safe. So you got the
[00:15:21] messages that your needs are inconvenient. Your
[00:15:23] feelings are too much. And your body said, okay, I'll
[00:15:26] take it from here. You learned to perform
[00:15:29] wellness. Smile through the pain. Be the helper.
[00:15:34] Be the strong one. And your body became the
[00:15:37] storage unit for everything you didn't know how
[00:15:39] to process. But here's the thing. Your body
[00:15:43] remembers. And eventually it starts asking for
[00:15:47] attention, not to punish you, but to invite you
[00:15:50] back home. And that threshold, when the body
[00:15:54] starts acting out, that's not failure. That's a
[00:15:57] call to healing. Okay, I am going to lead you
[00:16:04] through a small practice just to give you an
[00:16:07] idea of how to start tuning into the
[00:16:10] emotional roots of your chronic sensations. So
[00:16:15] if you are not able to close your eyes and listen
[00:16:17] to this right now, that's totally okay. Keep
[00:16:20] listening. Allow it to just be there. Listen and
[00:16:24] keep doing what you're doing. But then I highly
[00:16:26] recommend that you save this and you come back
[00:16:29] and you practice when you can have a quiet
[00:16:32] space and close your eyes. Okay, start to find
[00:16:35] a comfortable place somewhere you can sit or
[00:16:40] lie down. Take a few deep breaths and
[00:16:45] your nose and out through the mouth. Just
[00:16:51] starting to notice the breath, starting to
[00:16:55] notice your internal awareness. Just start to
[00:16:59] pay attention to your body without the
[00:17:03] need to fix it to be aware of it to make
[00:17:06] sensations go away, go away to push
[00:17:08] anything away. We're not fixing or doing
[00:17:12] anything here, but just bringing awareness
[00:17:16] to the present moment within your body. Now
[00:17:21] just take a scan of your body to notice
[00:17:24] where you might feel some sensation. Again, no
[00:17:29] making meaning of it or trying to figure
[00:17:31] it out or make it go away. You're simply
[00:17:34] just noticing. You can also place a hand
[00:17:39] there. If that feels okay with a sense of
[00:17:43] compassion and breathe into it gently, no
[00:17:50] pressure. There's no need to figure
[00:17:54] anything out. You're just noticing as we
[00:17:57] move along. I'm going to ask you a few
[00:18:00] questions that you can ask yourself and
[00:18:03] what you're going to do is let whatever
[00:18:05] comes come. If there's nothing that's
[00:18:09] fine to you, it's totally okay. And if
[00:18:12] there's something, all you're going to do
[00:18:14] is notice. So ask yourself, what might be
[00:18:19] living here emotionally under the
[00:18:22] sensation? What might be living here
[00:18:26] emotionally in my body? What do I need to
[00:18:31] know? Ask the question and just keep
[00:18:35] breathing, allowing whatever to come to
[00:18:38] come. Maybe it's an image, a word, a
[00:18:47] sensation or nothing. No need to figure
[00:18:53] it out. Just notice. Maybe you ask
[00:19:01] yourself, what haven't I given myself
[00:19:03] permission to feel? What haven't I given
[00:19:09] myself permission to feel? With each
[00:19:15] exhale, imagine softening around that
[00:19:19] place. You don't have to go in and fix it.
[00:19:23] Just be with it. Maybe you say to
[00:19:28] yourself gently, it's safe to feel.
[00:19:31] There's nothing wrong with me. My
[00:19:40] symptoms are messengers and I'm
[00:19:42] listening now. Continue to breathe here
[00:19:47] and stay here for as long as you need.
[00:19:53] If you want to take some more time,
[00:19:55] pause it and give yourself all the time.
[00:19:58] And if you're ready, take a few more
[00:20:02] breaths. Start to bring your awareness
[00:20:05] back to the space around you and
[00:20:09] slowly come back to my voice and open
[00:20:12] your eyes. So here's the truth. Your
[00:20:20] body has never been against you. It's
[00:20:23] been carrying you, speaking for you,
[00:20:27] protecting you. But healing asks us to
[00:20:31] shift the conversation from fixing and
[00:20:34] fighting to listening and partnering. I
[00:20:38] really hope that this resonated and
[00:20:40] this is helpful today and that this
[00:20:43] sparked some more awareness around the
[00:20:46] root of your symptoms. And just know
[00:20:49] that you don't have to do this alone.
[00:20:51] And if you want to go deeper, if you
[00:20:53] want to really get some support around
[00:20:54] this, this is exactly what I help you
[00:20:57] do in the Mind Body Healing Method. I
[00:21:00] teach this work in a way that's safe,
[00:21:02] grounded, and step by step. We don't
[00:21:05] bypass anything, we don't sugarcoat it,
[00:21:07] but we do walk with you. If something
[00:21:11] stirred in you today, come find me on
[00:21:14] Instagram, heal with grace, or head
[00:21:16] to the show notes to join the Mind
[00:21:18] Body Healing Method. We have some
[00:21:21] special pricing going on, so make sure
[00:21:22] to check that out. And remember, you're
[00:21:26] not broken, you're brilliant, and you're
[00:21:29] allowed to feel it all because
[00:21:31] feeling is healing. Keep healing with
[00:21:34] grace and I'll see you next time. If this
[00:21:38] podcast means something to you, it
[00:21:39] would mean so much to me if you could
[00:21:41] do these couple things. One, go to the
[00:21:43] Heal with Grace Show page wherever you
[00:21:45] listen and tap the plus sign or click
[00:21:47] on the follow button so you don't miss
[00:21:49] an episode. It helps both of us out.
[00:21:51] While you're there, if you could get a
[00:21:53] five-star review so that this podcast can
[00:21:56] reach more people, it would mean so much
[00:21:58] to me, so I can continue sharing
[00:22:00] episodes that help you as well as others.
[00:22:02] Thanks for listening and I hope this
[00:22:05] brings you hope on your journey.