Perfectionism, Productivity and Pain

[00:00:00] Hey y'all, how's it going? Welcome back to The Oath Grace Podcast. I am sitting here today
[00:00:07] going to talk to you about how perfectionism, productivity, and pain all go together.
[00:00:13] While at the same time, this whole week, I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to make
[00:00:20] this episode perfect. And it's one of those things where, you know, when you plan to do
[00:00:25] something but you things keep getting in the way of it, which in reality really just means I'm
[00:00:30] putting on off because I'm feeling a little vulnerable or I'm feeling like I'm not going to get it right
[00:00:36] or I'm nervous about it. Like that's procrastination. We put off things that we're not sure we can
[00:00:41] do well or right or, you know, insert perfect statement. And so it's pretty ironic. And I
[00:00:48] realized that yesterday as once again, I planned to record this and it just didn't end up happening
[00:00:54] because a million other things happened. So I am coming to you sitting on my couch because I'm not
[00:01:02] in my, well not my couch. I'm sitting on a couch. I'm not in my normal office, which means I don't
[00:01:06] have my video and my microphone set up, which is how I'm supposed to be doing these things.
[00:01:12] And I realized, you know what, whatever, I'm just going to record with my little
[00:01:17] small microphone here. We're not going to do video. So I'm sorry if you like to watch them on YouTube,
[00:01:25] but this is just going to be an audio podcast. And to my editor, I'm sorry if the audio is not
[00:01:32] perfect, but it's okay. We're just going to do the best we can. The whole point is I want you
[00:01:38] to get across. I want to get across to you how the pressure we put on ourselves can lead to
[00:01:46] a stuck nervous system and to symptoms and how oftentimes you may not even actually realize
[00:01:53] you're doing it. Actually more often than not, we don't realize we're doing it. Some people will say
[00:01:57] like, oh, I noticed I'm being critical of myself. I'm putting pressure on myself. But
[00:02:01] more often than not, we don't, we don't realize it until someone points it out to us.
[00:02:05] So hi, that's me. I'm going to point that out to you today. All right. So
[00:02:10] I'm going to guess that if you're listening to this, you might be someone who
[00:02:15] you tell yourself you'll relax once the dishes are done, but somehow there's always one more thing
[00:02:21] or you can't send an email without rereading it five times. You feel guilty if you sit down to
[00:02:26] watch Netflix without also folding laundry and even on vacation, your brain is already running
[00:02:32] through your to-do list. Or maybe you feel like you just can't always get it right. Something's
[00:02:37] always coming in the way of your to-do list or finishing it. You can't get done what you
[00:02:42] thought you were going to get done or maybe you keep putting things off and then you criticize
[00:02:48] yourself for putting them off and not completing them. All of these things are little habits that
[00:02:54] might not feel like a big deal in the moment, but together they add up. They are signs of
[00:02:59] perfectionism and productivity running the show and they have a huge impact on your nervous
[00:03:04] system and your health. But here's the thing. Perfectionism and productivity aren't just
[00:03:09] personality traits. They are actually learned survival strategies. They're ways that our nervous
[00:03:15] system learned to keep us safe, loved, and accepted. And while those traits may have gotten you far in
[00:03:22] life, maybe even made you successful, they can also keep your body stuck in pain, fatigue,
[00:03:28] or other chronic symptoms or actually cover up what you really do enjoy and what makes you
[00:03:33] happy. So first and foremost, let's define these two things. Perfectionism and productivity.
[00:03:39] Perfectionism isn't just wanting to do things well. It's the belief that your worth or safety
[00:03:46] depends on doing things without mistakes. We often define it as setting unrealistically
[00:03:52] high standards for yourself, being overly self-critical, and tying your identity to
[00:03:57] achievement. In a nervous system lens, perfectionism is a survival strategy. It says,
[00:04:03] if I get it perfect, I'll be safe, I'll be loved, and I won't be rejected. And we're going to talk a
[00:04:08] little bit more about that, but that is the primal need of this perfectionism survival strategy.
[00:04:15] Productivity in itself just means accomplishing tasks or creating output, right? But in the
[00:04:21] context of chronic illness and nervous system work, productivity often becomes more than that.
[00:04:26] It's used as a coping mechanism. And actually, I would say probably just in the wide human
[00:04:32] nature, especially Western culture, that's just anyone. We all use productivity as a coping mechanism
[00:04:38] to feel more worthy and like we accomplished and like we're good. Like we were productive,
[00:04:44] oh, it was a good day. Again, it's not just I like to get things done, it's if I don't keep
[00:04:50] moving, accomplishing and producing, then I feel anxious, unsafe, worthless, weak, not good
[00:04:57] enough, all these beliefs. So where perfectionism is about how well you do something, productivity
[00:05:05] is about how much you do and see they can totally go hand in hand, but they're also separate, both
[00:05:11] can become ways of avoiding rest, feelings or vulnerability. So today, I'm going to unpack
[00:05:17] the surprising connection between productivity, perfectionism and chronic symptoms. And I'll
[00:05:22] share why your body might be screaming at you when you push yourself too hard, how this shows
[00:05:27] up in sneaky everyday ways. And most importantly, some steps you can take to break the cycle.
[00:05:33] Okay, first and foremost, let's talk about these beliefs, where perfectionism and productivity
[00:05:39] come from. So these patterns don't just come out of nowhere. They're not flaws. Again,
[00:05:46] they are strategies that your nervous system developed. And I have to say this, like, obviously,
[00:05:53] maybe not obviously, but to me, obviously, perfection and productivity are somewhat easy.
[00:06:01] I don't know if I should really say the word easy, but they are, they're very normal
[00:06:06] to fall into because society praises you for being perfect and productive. It's like,
[00:06:13] you get the gold star, you're seen as this worthy person if you are productive and perfect.
[00:06:21] And so for a lot of people, this perfectionism comes from childhood messages. For instance,
[00:06:26] like, if you get good grades, you're lovable. If you keep the peace, you're safe. You know,
[00:06:32] maybe there was a sibling or a parent that in your family that was having a lot of trouble.
[00:06:38] So if you were the peaceful one, you didn't make a lot of noise or commotion or any trouble for
[00:06:44] your parents or you were the one that just kind of like smooth things over a little bit more,
[00:06:49] then you're seen as good, right? You're seen as the better one or at least just someone that
[00:06:56] they can count on your worth. Maybe you learned that if you can get it right,
[00:07:01] you won't get in trouble. Maybe you were always aware of everyone else in the home,
[00:07:06] aware of when to stay in your room. So to not disturb the peace or maybe you were counting
[00:07:11] down the minutes before a parent came home. So you weren't loud so they wouldn't get upset
[00:07:17] or you knew that a sibling was having a hard time or causing more trouble. So you stayed
[00:07:23] quiet. So it did not cause any quote unquote trouble. And so actually there's so much that
[00:07:28] could come from this, not just needing to be perfect and productive, but also that dismisses
[00:07:34] your own needs and wants. So you become quiet, you don't voice your needs, you don't express your
[00:07:38] feelings because that might be deemed as too much or disturbing the peace or you never felt safe in
[00:07:46] order to do that. So you just didn't, you stayed quiet, you stayed perfect. So the nervous system
[00:07:53] wires in this belief, if I do enough, achieve enough or never make mistakes, I'll be safe.
[00:07:59] The wiring doesn't just vanish when you grow up. It runs in the background,
[00:08:04] driving you to push harder, to do more, to criticize yourself for falling short. And I mean,
[00:08:11] I very much don't know this from a personal experience, but I have to name that I never
[00:08:16] saw myself as this. I never saw myself as a perfectionist or like I could never get it
[00:08:21] right. And so, you know, from the outside, I didn't look like someone who I never got straight
[00:08:25] A's. I never got like great grades actually, always had trouble in school. And along the way,
[00:08:31] I could have seen myself, or I did see myself as like having a hard time achieving things.
[00:08:37] So how could I be a perfectionist? Well, yeah, I got called out early in my early 20s in therapy.
[00:08:44] And I don't even know what I was talking about. But my therapist at the time
[00:08:48] called out perfectionism. And I said, I said, no, I don't think so because I've never been
[00:08:54] able to like get it right or get it perfect. Like I couldn't get that great, perfect grade.
[00:09:00] And as I said that, I was like, I had the a-ha of like, oh,
[00:09:05] oh, yeah, the idea that I can't get it right. That's perfectionism in and of itself. It was
[00:09:11] like that like literally if I was in a movie, a light bulb would have been all gone off right
[00:09:14] over my head of like, oh, okay. So then I kind of started diving into it of like, what
[00:09:20] does this actually look like? Because we have this idea of perfectionists. And maybe you're thinking
[00:09:26] of one in your life, maybe you are thinking of that person as you, but that all that we look all
[00:09:31] different. It's really more about the pressure you put on yourself, the fear that you feel if you
[00:09:37] can't get something right, or the rejection you actually feel underneath the surface,
[00:09:42] because you're so afraid of not being worthy of getting it right.
[00:09:46] So here are some of the ways that it can show up that might not be something you would think of. So
[00:09:52] a lot of people don't realize that they're operating out of perfectionism or productivity
[00:09:57] because it shows up in these really minute everyday ways. So for example, maybe
[00:10:04] you can't sit down to relax until the kitchen is spotless or even just cleaned up
[00:10:09] more than maybe it quote unquote should be or could be. Maybe you reread an email 10 times before
[00:10:16] sending it just to make sure it's perfect. Maybe you feel guilty if you sit down to watch TV or
[00:10:24] take a break from work or rest without doing all the things on your to-do list that you should
[00:10:31] have quote unquote should have gotten done for the day. Maybe your checklist always has to
[00:10:36] be done, but then you also feel like you can't ever get it done. So then you inherently just feel
[00:10:41] like you're failing. Or maybe you replay conversations at night worrying if you said
[00:10:46] the wrong thing. Are you always apologizing for being tired or sick even to yourself?
[00:10:53] Maybe you micromanage your healing. You're always getting new tests. Maybe you've already
[00:10:58] started brain training and nervous system regulation and you are always trying to
[00:11:04] figure out if you're doing it right and you're afraid that you're getting it wrong.
[00:11:08] Maybe you keep questioning whether you're journaling correctly or you're regulating
[00:11:12] your nervous system correctly and you're learning and reading all the things all the videos.
[00:11:18] Maybe you fall into the all or nothing camp where when you do something you do it you do
[00:11:24] it all. You do everything. You're full force at it. Or if you can't feel like if you don't
[00:11:30] feel like you can get it right and you're going to be good at it you just don't approach it at all.
[00:11:35] That's all or nothing. Maybe you tense up the second you feel behind. Tight shoulders, tight jaw
[00:11:43] and this feeling of not being able to get it right or always doing more is that pressure
[00:11:51] that we have within our bodies. Perfectionism doesn't always look like a gold star student
[00:11:57] with color coded binders. Sometimes it's in these tiny habits that keep your nervous system
[00:12:03] stuck in the danger mode. Anytime I start to share examples like this I can start to see
[00:12:09] some of my clients some of my students like will go off like oh okay all right I see that
[00:12:16] right. Maybe you're the one always planning things in your family. You're always planning
[00:12:20] the things to do. You're always on. That's productivity and the way that you approach it
[00:12:26] if you approach it with pressure and perfectionism that's the added layer to it.
[00:12:33] One thing I want to highlight here too is that for many of us productivity is actually a coping
[00:12:38] mechanism. So as I mentioned earlier it's really to cover up this belief systems about
[00:12:43] ourselves that we're not worthy if we don't do these things and it looks like maybe on the
[00:12:50] outside like ambition or discipline but underneath it's a nervous system strategy.
[00:12:56] So when we stay busy we keep moving. When we're constantly checking things off the list
[00:13:00] it keeps us having to sit with what's underneath and that anxiety the grief the shame the old
[00:13:08] stories we don't want to feel is what we're covering up. So productivity becomes this
[00:13:15] socially acceptable way of avoiding and actually I even say more than socially acceptable.
[00:13:22] It is praised. It is you get the gold star if you are more productive and you are more perfect at it.
[00:13:31] Nobody questions you for working for being a hard worker. They reward it. You get praised
[00:13:37] for being efficient organized on top of it but for many of us our body ends up paying
[00:13:43] the price. I mean I can't even tell you since I've become a little bit more aware at this countless
[00:13:48] times I overhear conversations or I hear someone say to me you know like oh wow you're doing all
[00:13:56] that or like oh wow how do you do it or you know wow you did this and there's a part of me that's
[00:14:03] like oh that feels good right that validation which there's nothing wrong with that. It's not
[00:14:08] there's nothing wrong with getting validated and at the same time like the other part of me
[00:14:13] can be can become aware of oh okay am I only getting my validation from all the sprays of
[00:14:20] you know being the quote unquote good girl and doing all the things that I can wow people by.
[00:14:25] So I don't want you to think I'm just completely pessimistic about
[00:14:29] productivity because sometimes it's needed and it's how we get to our desires and our
[00:14:34] goals in life. It's just more about like how much are you doing and how are you approaching it.
[00:14:40] So what perfectionism and productivity do to your nervous system is that it keeps it on constant
[00:14:45] activation. You're never signaling to your brain it's okay to stop it's okay to rest we're
[00:14:52] safe to do so. We deserve and are worthy of not producing all the time. Maybe your
[00:15:00] productive coping mescanism is working a lot working later so you can feel avoid feeling lonely
[00:15:08] or being productive so that you avoid actually acknowledging with making you unhappy or you're
[00:15:17] continuing to fold the laundry so you're avoiding thinking or crying about maybe actually what you
[00:15:22] feel inside and I have to normalize that this is a very normal human response if we never learned
[00:15:29] to express our feelings, manage our feelings if we never learned to be authentic to ourselves and
[00:15:36] it's okay to do that and it's safe to do that then we're going to cope. We're going to put on a shield
[00:15:42] of productivity to help us feel accepted and that's a very primal normal response. So this
[00:15:50] isn't to say oh look at what you're doing to yourself you know shame or guilt for being
[00:15:55] productive or perfect not at all not at all this is really just to help you become more aware of all
[00:16:01] these little ways that it can show up. Your body doesn't want you to outrun your feelings forever
[00:16:08] and that is when symptoms start showing up that's when the fatigue the pain the migraines the
[00:16:14] IBS the anything shows up as a way to force you to pause. So productivity is being used
[00:16:24] as a coping mechanism and the good news is once you see it you can start to shift it. So when your
[00:16:30] nervous system is wired for this when it's wired for productivity and perfectionism your body never
[00:16:36] really gets to rest and even when it does it doesn't know how because if you think about it if your
[00:16:41] baseline like your base on your nervous system is to constantly go your body is stuck in that
[00:16:46] sympathetic activation which is also known as fight or flight mode and that means that your
[00:16:52] stress hormones are pumping constantly so your cortisol increases your hormones maybe become out
[00:16:59] of balance your digestion starts to slow down or gets a little bit messed up for lack of better
[00:17:06] medical terms your muscles stay tense and your sleep gets disrupted maybe you're someone who has
[00:17:13] high anxiety and it's really hard to slow down because your nervous system thinks it's
[00:17:18] truly unsafe to do so or maybe you're someone who will shut down and have high fatigue your body
[00:17:25] literally shuts your brain and your body down because it feels unsafe to to not I've had a few
[00:17:32] clients say if I even try to sit still like I can't my body will not let me and I feel like
[00:17:41] everything will fall apart and they've lived by that belief always striving always pushing
[00:17:47] until their body literally forced them to stop developing chronic fatigue developing pain
[00:17:54] and as frustrating as it is it's also their body's way of saying if your mind won't slow down I will
[00:18:01] so her body was doing what her nervous system knew was necessary which was
[00:18:06] really demanding attention and this isn't just anecdotal meaning I'm not just telling you
[00:18:12] what I've experienced with my clients research backs this up as well so in pain reprocessing
[00:18:17] therapy they talk about how personality traits like perfectionism people pleasing and putting
[00:18:23] pressure on yourself are actually predictors of chronic pain Alan Gorder who's one of the
[00:18:28] creators of pain reprocessing therapy and his team found that these high pressure
[00:18:32] self-critical patterns keep the brain on high alert and when the brain is scanning for danger
[00:18:38] 24 7 it misfires interpreting normal sensations as dangerous and that misfiring shows up as pain
[00:18:47] Dr. Howard Schubertner who was also on my podcast a few episodes ago who wrote on learn your pain
[00:18:53] says the same thing that these traits what he calls good ism which I kind of like that word
[00:18:58] the good ism traits or the drive to always be good perfect and productive are some of the
[00:19:03] strongest indicators that symptoms are neuroplastic rather than structural it's not that you're
[00:19:09] causing the pain by being perfectionistic again please do not hear me saying that you're not
[00:19:16] causing it you're not doing anything wrong to your body it's just that your nervous system
[00:19:21] has been conditioned to associate pressure with danger and it responds accordingly this is actually
[00:19:27] often why I see people plateau when they're healing because you can do all the things to
[00:19:35] help yourself whether that's physical treatments or brain training or nervous system regulation
[00:19:41] but if you're still pushing yourself and criticizing yourself to achieve it to
[00:19:47] achieve all these things your body never gets the safety it needs to heal there's many times
[00:19:52] where I hear someone say I'm doing this and I'm doing that and I'm afraid I'm not doing enough
[00:19:56] and I'm afraid I'm not doing it right and that in and of itself it's creating more pressure which
[00:20:01] creates more inflammation and dysregulation and pain so again it's not about blaming you it's not
[00:20:07] about saying you're doing it wrong because you're doing this it's really just helping you
[00:20:13] understand and rewire that automatic pressure that you you just keep continuing to put on
[00:20:20] yourself to get it right to do enough because with this work there is not going to be a perfect
[00:20:27] way of doing it that there can't be and everyone's a little bit different everyone takes their own
[00:20:34] time and so yes there are things to do and guidelines to to go by there's a reason why in
[00:20:41] my program the mind-body healing method I have things laid out in a certain way but I also
[00:20:46] very much so encourage people to go to different lessons that fit them like you don't have to
[00:20:53] go through each single one right off the bat or I mean like right after another you can if that
[00:20:59] helps you but again everyone's a little bit different and a big part of this process is
[00:21:03] learning flexibility is learning how to approach things from a sense of flexibility and curiosity
[00:21:11] and openness and willingness instead of pressure and rigidness and control and being critical
[00:21:18] because healing doesn't happen in fight or flight it happens in safety it happens in the
[00:21:28] the exhale and when we're in these high pressure feelings and automatic states we are not
[00:21:36] fully exhaling we are up here in our chest and talking fastly and trying to get it all
[00:21:44] done and blah blah blah blah blah like as I talk about it I start to like talk fast and do a lot
[00:21:51] more and I start to feel pressure but if I'm leaning in to safety and the relaxation response of the
[00:22:01] nervous system my body softens a little bit there's more trust in knowing that this work works
[00:22:12] that I am doing my best and that there is no perfect way so how do we do that what do we do
[00:22:21] how do we actually begin to loosen perfectionism script so our bodies can finally exhale and heal
[00:22:30] there aren't quick hacks for this well not overnight hacks I guess I'll say but it is
[00:22:35] about slowly and gently building new ways of right relating to yourself relating to those thoughts
[00:22:42] those feelings those emotions and here are a few core practices that I've seen change everything
[00:22:47] for myself and my clients so first and foremost trusting yourself and the work now
[00:22:54] if you hear me say that and you're like I don't know how the F to trust myself or my body because
[00:23:01] I mean I've there's been so much that's happened I get it first of all totally get it
[00:23:06] and it's okay you don't have to trust yourself 100 it's taken me years I mean so so many years
[00:23:15] to get to a place where I really really trust my body and myself and it's not perfect it's not
[00:23:21] every single day all the time and it doesn't have to take you years and years and years that's
[00:23:25] why I'm here teaching you but I guess yeah I'm just saying like you don't have to fully lean in
[00:23:31] all 100% and trust this work and trust yourself for it to work but there does have to be a little
[00:23:37] willingness and openness healing means that leaning in even when it feels uncomfortable or uncertain
[00:23:43] because perfectionists we love control you really want to control something so you feel worthy
[00:23:49] and you don't fail or lose control we want to see the outcome before we take the step
[00:23:55] but this work asks you to trust the process to trust your nervous system and trust yourself
[00:24:05] even when it feels messy or hard that trust is what slowly teaches your body I don't need to live
[00:24:13] and overdrive anymore I know that I am working with myself I am taking the steps to help my body
[00:24:20] help my mind and I'm going to continue doing this and I can trust that I will continue doing this
[00:24:26] especially when it doesn't look perfect and when it looks a little bit messy but there does have
[00:24:31] to be a certain level of trust and willingness so that you can let off the gas of the perfectionism
[00:24:38] and trust that you will be worthy you are enough just as you are and again that might
[00:24:45] feel so foreign to you and that's okay but that's what I want you to work towards
[00:24:49] is that you can be 100% worthy just as you are sitting where you are no matter what you're doing
[00:24:56] no matter if you're bedridden you can't get up or you are I don't know climbing the top of a 14 or
[00:25:03] mountain it doesn't matter you're worthy just as you are second is self-compassion which
[00:25:11] if you've listened to this podcast at all you know that's what I talk about all the time
[00:25:15] self-compassion because perfectionism thrives on self-criticism so every time you think I should
[00:25:22] be doing more I'm not enough your nervous system hears danger and self-compassion flips that script
[00:25:31] it's speaking to yourself the way that you would speak to someone you love it's safe to rest
[00:25:37] I'm already enough this is medicine for your brain and your body
[00:25:42] self-criticism is the antidote I'm sorry self-compassion is the antidote to self-criticism
[00:25:48] so so so so so so so much compassion for yourself when you notice yourself saying like oh I can't
[00:25:54] get this right or I'm not doing enough or how to keep doing more blah blah blah so lots and
[00:26:00] lots of compassion place your hand over your heart breathe deeply into your body
[00:26:08] notice the breath filling your body from head to toe feeling what it's like to pause
[00:26:19] and breathe without any other expectations without needing it to be a certain way
[00:26:25] just bringing in that love and light to your body and your heart number three is curiosity
[00:26:32] instead of judgment when you notice yourself pushing striving or feeling guilty for slowing
[00:26:37] down you pause and ask okay what am I afraid will happen if I stop what what am I doing here what makes
[00:26:45] me need to be so pressure-oriented and striving and pushing right now this isn't about blaming
[00:26:53] yourself it's about shining the light on the old survival story underneath the behavior
[00:27:00] curiosity helps you see the pattern without getting trapped in shame about it
[00:27:05] instead if you keep asking yourself oh why am I doing this why do I act like this why am I thinking
[00:27:10] about this why is my body reacting like this those why statements are actually pretty critical
[00:27:17] so why can be okay why can be compassionate curious statements but I would encourage you
[00:27:24] to say instead of like what am I afraid of feeling here or what belief system is actually
[00:27:30] driving the show right now is there a little flexibility that I can shift what I'm doing
[00:27:36] maybe I can pull back a little bit or is it okay to not that get this extra thing done today or
[00:27:40] is it okay to do it tomorrow or is it okay if I did mess up I did say something stupid
[00:27:48] actually I don't even want you to say that you could just say it's okay if I said that one
[00:27:53] thing it's okay people aren't gonna hate me for saying one thing number four is support and community
[00:28:02] so perfectionism thrives in isolation sometimes um no thrives in community as well if we're really
[00:28:08] getting praised by if we're surrounded by people whether it's work or family that are constantly
[00:28:14] expecting us to be perfect they can really thrive in those areas of as well but within
[00:28:20] yourself it can really thrive alone right it whispers like don't let anyone see you struggle
[00:28:26] but when we can open ourselves up to communities that can show us a different way
[00:28:33] it can be really healing so being witnessed and being reminded that you're not alone in this
[00:28:39] it's okay to mess up it's okay to not be perfect and having others reflect your humanity back to
[00:28:44] you and actually say you are loved we love you you are 100 okay just as you are that's one of the
[00:28:52] most powerful antidotes to perfectionism and shame is to be seen in some of your pain is to be seen
[00:29:00] as truly who you are and that's why group work and community spaces and one-on-one mentorship
[00:29:07] and therapy are such a core part of the healing journey there's no way shape or form I would
[00:29:12] be where I am today without all the support from my mentors and therapists and coaches and teachers
[00:29:18] and people there's there's just no way and that is exactly why I do what I do to help others just
[00:29:25] like I've been helped so this is just your encouragement to join in to find that support
[00:29:30] to start talking to people start talking to someone and if you don't have that if you
[00:29:34] don't know where to look go ahead and contact me we can figure out maybe what might work best for
[00:29:39] you or how to how to find those places so again like these are not boxes to check off they're more
[00:29:46] like practices to return to again and again trust compassion curiosity and support these are what
[00:29:54] actually rewire the nervous system so your body can move out of survival mode and end to safety
[00:30:01] where real healing happens so for just a simple day-to-day question you can ask yourself when you're
[00:30:10] feeling like you're pressuring yourself a lot or feeling critical instead of asking did I do
[00:30:16] enough today ask did I give myself moments of safety today that is where the real healing
[00:30:23] happens last but not least here's the truth today that perfectionism and productivity aren't
[00:30:30] flaws they are survival strategies they were ways you kept yourself safe in environments that didn't
[00:30:37] feel safe but those same strategies that once protected you and are now keeping your body stuck
[00:30:44] in survival your symptoms aren't portraying you they're signals that it's time for a different
[00:30:49] way of being a gentler way a more compassionate way if you want to go deeper into this work
[00:30:57] and really be seen and witnessed so you can step out of these patterns of criticism and lack of
[00:31:04] safety and not sharing how to manage and heal some of your symptoms this is exactly what we do in the
[00:31:11] mind-body healing method and we work directly on these patterns we talk a lot about perfectionism
[00:31:17] people pleasing productivity nervous system regulation brain training and how it all fits
[00:31:22] together and how they show up in your nervous system because when those patterns shift your
[00:31:27] body can finally do what it's designed to do which is heal and if you didn't know the mind-body
[00:31:33] healing method is a 12 week program where I give you the tools and steps to retrain your brain
[00:31:40] regulate your nervous system understand and work with your emotions so that you can really
[00:31:47] release some of these chronic symptoms that your body are using is using to protect you and
[00:31:53] I would love for you to join so go ahead and find the link below to apply and I'll talk with you to
[00:31:58] see if it's a right fit okay y'all I hope that this was helpful keep doing the work and I'll see you next time