Episode 95
When to Rest and When to Push Through Fatigue
Show notes
Ever wonder if you should rest when fatigue hits—or keep going? Grace tackles one of the most common (and confusing) questions in chronic fatigue recovery: how to know when your body needs rest versus when your nervous system just needs reassurance that you're safe.
What You'll Learn:
The Two Types of Fatigue
- Normal fatigue (proportionate to life stress, activity, or lack of sleep)
- Nervous system fatigue (disproportionate, often paired with brain fog, body aches, or other symptoms—and doesn't improve with more sleep)
Why "Pushing Through" Isn't the Answer
- The difference between bulldozing your symptoms and moving through them with compassion
- How judgment, fear, and self-criticism actually reinforce fatigue by signaling danger to your brain
- Why your approach matters more than whether you rest or move
The Key Question to Ask Yourself Before deciding to rest or continue with your day, pause and check in:
- Can I meet this symptom calmly, without fear or panic?
- Can I reassure myself that this is my nervous system, not something dangerous or broken?
- Am I responding with compassion—or criticism?
If the answer is yes, you can gently move forward. If the answer is no, it might be time to pause, regulate, and build safety first.
What True Rest Actually Looks Like Rest isn't helpful if you're spending it in shame, guilt, or panic. Grace shares how to rest with permission—fully, compassionately, and without the mental spiral.
Trial and Error Is Part of the Process It takes time to learn the difference between types of fatigue. Grace walks you through how to experiment kindly with yourself, adjust as you go, and notice what your body is actually telling you.
Your New Mantra: "Symptoms are evidence of my brain perceiving danger—not proof that I'm broken."
Find the links below to learn more or reach out with questions.
Resources Mentioned:
Why Journaling is Important and How to Use It
How to work with Grace:
- Practitioner Training-Mind Body Integtration Method Founding Cohort
- Mind-Body Healing Method Course – Regulate your nervous system now
- Free Masterclass: How to Know If Your Nervous System Is Behind Your Symptoms
- Work with us in private mind-body coaching
- Subscribe to my Substack for the deeper how-to's
Connect with Grace
Read the transcript
[00:00:00] Hey, everybody. Welcome back to the Heal with Grace podcast. I am Grace and here to help you
[00:00:06] understand when do you rest and when do you push through your fatigue? It is
[00:00:11] such a big question that I get. And honestly, something I have asked myself many, many times
[00:00:17] as well as I've gone through this journey. So I just want to normalize that it is,
[00:00:22] first of all, not an exact science. And my answer is really going to be it depends,
[00:00:27] which I know that you don't really want to hear and you want to hear an exact
[00:00:30] few steps of how to understand that, which I'm going to give you some tips.
[00:00:34] But just like a lot of this, we're all a little bit different in our
[00:00:37] symptomology and how it shows up and where we are in this process. So I'm going to share with you
[00:00:43] the tips that I can give you to help you understand when do you
[00:00:47] rest and when do you essentially not rest because I don't like the term push through.
[00:00:53] I don't actually think you should ever push through. And I'm going to share with you about
[00:00:57] what I mean by that. Hey there and welcome to Heal with Grace. I'm your host, Grace Secker,
[00:01:03] and I'm a holistic licensed therapist and nervous system coach who believes that the chronic and
[00:01:08] often unseen symptoms you're living with are a sign of something deeper going on.
[00:01:12] A sign that your nervous system needs attention. In each episode, I'll share the science
[00:01:17] behind the most common chronic health disorders, plus holistic health tips,
[00:01:21] using mental, physical, and spiritual practices. You'll hear what I've learned in my journey
[00:01:26] and the true stories from our trusted guests so you can feel less alone in your experience
[00:01:31] and give yourself grace no matter what you're going through. So without further ado,
[00:01:35] settle in and get cozy. It's time to heal with Grace.
[00:01:40] So when you have been through chronic fatigue syndrome, ME, CFS, or just chronic fatigue
[00:01:48] has been a part of your journey, you probably have had times where you've had to push through.
[00:01:53] You're like, well, life is going on and I, I can't be tired and sit on the couch today
[00:01:58] if that's where you are in your journey. Now there are some people who cannot do that in our
[00:02:03] bedridden. And so this might be a little bit different for you, but you can also take it
[00:02:08] for where you are in your journey and what your symptomology looks like. So first and foremost,
[00:02:14] there's a couple of different types of fatigue, right? There is the quote unquote
[00:02:18] normal fatigue, like after a workout or lack of sleep or a big day or a lot of things stacked
[00:02:24] up over time in your life where you have a lot going on, which is proportionate. The fatigue
[00:02:28] you feel is proportionate to what's going on in your life. And I'm not talking about
[00:02:33] post exertion malaise. I'm talking about a true body or mind or energy fatigue that
[00:02:40] any human on this earth feels when there's a lot going on and they have stress in their life.
[00:02:45] And then, and again, that's objective, right? We all experience that a little bit differently
[00:02:48] and we all hold things differently. We all hold the amount of stress in our lives differently.
[00:02:53] Then there is chronic fatigue, like symptom fatigue, which is more of a nervous system
[00:02:58] freeze or shutdown, which is really disproportionate to what has happened in the stress in your
[00:03:05] life. You might feel achy, foggy, not resolved by extra stress. You sleep all the time and it
[00:03:11] doesn't change how fatigued or bad you feel usually has something else going on with it,
[00:03:17] whether that's like brain fog, achy body, joints, gut issues, other types of symptoms as well.
[00:03:23] It's not usually just fatigue. And so remember this, that the brain is a prediction machine.
[00:03:29] It expects fatigue, pain, or symptoms and that when you're in a high state stress response and
[00:03:35] then the body follows with that. So what we're going to talk about is how to get out of that
[00:03:40] expectation and really learn how to choose when are you going to rest and when are you not.
[00:03:44] And first and foremost, I want to say this, when I mean by I don't like the term push
[00:03:49] through, what I mean is if you're pushing through, you're probably coming at it from
[00:03:54] a place of shame, guilt, self criticism, judgment, right? You often judge yourself when fatigue or
[00:04:00] symptoms arise. Like, why is this happening? I shouldn't feel this way. Oh my gosh, how much
[00:04:04] coffee am I going to have to drink today? I don't know if I can do this. I'm barely hanging on.
[00:04:08] I mean, I don't know how to, you know, what's going on with me, what's wrong,
[00:04:12] my body's broken. And when we approach ourself and our symptoms with that,
[00:04:16] that judgment signals danger back to the brain, which just reinforces the prediction
[00:04:21] of fatigue. So it creates more fatigue. So that's what's happening when your brain is
[00:04:26] overprotecting itself. It's not about being broken. It's about perceiving danger where
[00:04:30] there isn't harm. So it depends answer comes from the place of, am I pushing through or am I not?
[00:04:38] It depends on how you can approach your symptoms. So if you can approach yourself,
[00:04:43] your nervous system, your fatigue, with a few different things, one from the knowledge of,
[00:04:49] I know this isn't dangerous. I know there's nothing wrong with me, or at least in a disease type
[00:04:54] way. This is not a disease. This is not something that I have to live with forever. I know this is
[00:04:58] my brain and nervous system response. And I know that I can approach it from a place of
[00:05:02] compassion and love and care and help myself move through this. That's when if you know you
[00:05:08] can do that and you can approach your symptoms without the judgment, then I would say, okay,
[00:05:15] let's move through this. Let's continue with life instead of having to stay put and rest and take
[00:05:19] a step back. How scared are you when the symptoms pop up? If you're terrified and really fearful
[00:05:25] and going down the rabbit hole of, oh my gosh, I can't do this. I don't know how I'm going to
[00:05:29] do this. I'm going to have to cancel work. Who's going to pick up the kids? You know,
[00:05:32] the spiral of the what ifs. If you're in that state, I would not continue to quote
[00:05:38] on quote push through or to move through your activity level when you want to. If you
[00:05:44] have something going on or you're trying to increase your exercise or your movement because
[00:05:48] that fear is just going to increase the brain response of danger. So, well, but if your symptoms
[00:05:55] go up a little bit, can you calmly respond and reassure yourself authentically, not with panic?
[00:06:03] Can you remember that symptoms are evidence of your brain proceeding danger, not actual danger?
[00:06:09] And if the answer is yes, then you can gently increase activity and keep moving through life.
[00:06:16] You still might not feel great. You still might feel tired or fatigued, but if you can approach
[00:06:21] yourself with love and compassion and see that fatigue as a part of you and not the full you,
[00:06:27] then it's actually a little bit easier to move through life. I mean, I've had days for sure
[00:06:31] where I, you know, second my eyes open, I'm like, oh, I feel it. I feel it. And what
[00:06:36] am I going to do? How am I going to go through life? Oh my gosh, I can't do work. I can't see
[00:06:42] clients. I am like the amount of fear that happens when I first opened my eyes. Of course,
[00:06:47] my brain and my body is going to go under even more danger and more symptoms. But instead,
[00:06:51] if I can open my eyes with, okay, I'm, I'm feeling it today. And I know that this is just
[00:06:59] a part of me. So I'm going to talk to it and say, Hey, I see you as you protective
[00:07:04] mechanism. You see that you're trying to help me. And then I might go into the journal speak
[00:07:10] practice or a meditation to help reduce symptoms, all the tools that I, that I teach in the mind
[00:07:15] body healing method and do the practices I know to help me move through it. And it might not
[00:07:21] just totally really going through those practices, I might still feel it, but I know that I can
[00:07:26] move throughout the day, knowing that that part's there, just kind of like this blanket or
[00:07:30] this cloud over me or this part of my shoulder, right? But I know that's not fully me. And I'm
[00:07:35] not afraid of it. I'm not afraid of those symptoms. I can still be in my work and do what I want to
[00:07:40] do that day with a lot of grace, a lot of flexibility, a lot of compassion for myself. And I might
[00:07:46] modify my day for sure, or modify my workout or exercise or whatever it is. But it's from a
[00:07:52] place of love and care and response of, Okay, I know this isn't going to last forever. And
[00:07:58] it just is what it is. I see it as a part and I'm going to move through it. That's very different
[00:08:03] than if the answer is no, you can't do that, then it might be better to pause, regulate and
[00:08:08] build safety first. Meaning if you wake up with judgment or I say wake up, that's just my
[00:08:13] experience. I know the second my eyes open, like if I'm in symptoms or not. But if that's not
[00:08:18] in your practice, I wouldn't continue to move forward with increasing your activity. If
[00:08:24] you're coming at it from a place of judgment and criticism. Hey friend, it's Grace. I know you're
[00:08:29] tired of feeling like managing your physical and mental health is just one big moving target.
[00:08:34] I also know that you've spent years of your life and hundreds of dollars on doctor's visits,
[00:08:38] juice cleanses, fad diets and fancy supplements only to feel like nothing about your chronic
[00:08:43] symptoms has changed. If this sounds like you consider this your invitation to find a holistic
[00:08:48] health protocol that works for you and your body. Even if you have chronic symptoms,
[00:08:52] unhealed trauma or dysregulated nervous system. That's exactly what's waiting for you inside the
[00:08:58] mind body healing method. My 12 week group program that's designed to help you say body
[00:09:02] or chronic symptoms through learning how to regulate your nervous system, retrain your brain
[00:09:07] and heal unresolved trauma. Our clients have found relief from even the most chronic of
[00:09:12] symptoms including fibromyalgia, sciatica, migraines, gut issues and other uncomfortable
[00:09:17] symptoms without pills or a long list of rituals and regimens. If you'd like to
[00:09:21] learn more about our program, head over to the show notes and learn more because the truth is
[00:09:26] that there is a protocol that works for you. You just might not have found the right balance
[00:09:31] for your body yet. Now let's get back to the episode. I also want to point out that there's
[00:09:38] also a trial and error part of this. So it's not always going to be easy to understand
[00:09:44] is this quote unquote normal fatigue or is this nervous system fatigue? It takes time to
[00:09:50] understand that. I now understand more of the difference, but if you've been in fatigue and
[00:09:55] symptoms for a long time, you may not really understand that difference. So it takes practice.
[00:09:59] Like if you're fatigued one day and you're like, well, I don't really know if this is
[00:10:04] normal. Like should I rest because this is just a normal human response or is this just
[00:10:08] fatigue? So I should continue on with my day and my exercise because I don't want to give
[00:10:13] my brain the validation that something's wrong. Well, sometimes you kind of try it out again
[00:10:19] with some gentleness and ease and talking to yourself and working with your skills and grounding.
[00:10:24] So what that might look like is, okay, well, maybe I'm actually going to let myself rest
[00:10:31] today and I'm going to maybe shift some plans around or cancel something or not do an exercise
[00:10:36] or movement and really just give myself that rest with compassion. Not while you're resting,
[00:10:42] you're going to be like, oh my gosh, I should be doing more and I feel so guilty for resting.
[00:10:47] That's not resting. Resting is giving yourself the ultimate permission to be able to rest.
[00:10:54] And if you do that and you get extra sleep that night or something like that,
[00:10:58] and then you recognize, oh, okay, I have a little more energy now. All right. Well,
[00:11:03] then you did the right thing. But if you did that and you still have a lot of fatigue
[00:11:08] and brain fog and you just don't feel well, that is your nervous system and brain response.
[00:11:13] So that's what I mean by trial and error. Sometimes it takes some experience, some
[00:11:17] experiments to figure out what's going to work for you and what's not. I mean,
[00:11:21] this has taken me years to figure out, to be honest. It doesn't have to for you believe me
[00:11:25] because for a long time I was missing that judgment. I was missing the response. I would judge the
[00:11:32] shit out of myself all the time. Even if I was like, okay, I'm going to give myself time to
[00:11:37] rest and relax and just chill. I wasn't. I was judging and criticizing myself the whole time
[00:11:44] and feeling so guilty and shameful that I wasn't being more productive. And then I had this whole
[00:11:48] just distraught mindset of like, oh my gosh, how am I going to do this? Right? Again, there's
[00:11:54] a difference here. So a couple of checkpoints here. One, before deciding to rest or move,
[00:12:00] pause and try to journal. What's really going on for you right now? What are you feeling?
[00:12:05] Like, what are the depths of your feeling? And if you don't know what I mean by that,
[00:12:08] you can go back to the journal, the episode I have on my podcast about journaling and what
[00:12:14] that looks like. I'm going to link it below. Start to give yourself some inquiry, self-inquiry,
[00:12:18] okay? Listen to the parts of you that are activated. What's going on right now?
[00:12:23] Help yourself reduce some fear by maybe somatic tracking, using some sort of meditation,
[00:12:29] which I have a multiple of in my program that helps reduce this fear and really listen to
[00:12:34] actually what's going on underneath the surface. Then if you still want to rest, rest and don't
[00:12:39] move forward. If you have symptom fatigue, if you know that it's your nervous system and brain
[00:12:44] response, like you have that chronic fatigue that feels like crap, you can still move through life.
[00:12:49] But don't come at it from a place of pushing through. Come at it from a place of moving
[00:12:53] through with compassion and expanding your capacity to hold this stress as you move
[00:12:59] through life. Respond calmly, meet yourself with compassion and continue with gentleness.
[00:13:05] And then you'll also learn what's normal fatigue. So when you're starting a new exercise or workout
[00:13:09] routine, your body, not just physically, you mentally also might feel extra fatigue and that's
[00:13:15] normal. And again, I'm not talking about post-exertional malaise. That's something different.
[00:13:20] So that is a nervous system response to when you start increasing activity from when you've
[00:13:25] been healing chronic fatigue, when you've been working through this process and you
[00:13:28] start to increase your activity. And then your nervous system goes, oh my gosh, that was so
[00:13:31] dangerous. And it sends you into a chronic fatigue, like deeper response. That's different.
[00:13:37] That doesn't mean you did too much. And I know there's some varying opinions about that,
[00:13:41] but it doesn't always mean that you did too much. And again, when that happens,
[00:13:45] how can you respond to yourself with compassion and understanding and knowing that
[00:13:49] that's not always going to be the case. But when you're challenging your nervous system
[00:13:53] and you're expanding your capacity for these things that your brain has always said is dangerous,
[00:13:59] then yeah, your body's probably going to respond in the beginning of like, oh,
[00:14:02] we don't like this. This is dangerous. All right, I'm going to send you these symptoms.
[00:14:05] So in a way, you can almost expect, I know that's not really great to hear, but you can almost
[00:14:10] expect that you're not always going to increase activity and it go well. That's just not the
[00:14:16] reality of recovery of moving through this. So remember that pushing through is not bulldozing
[00:14:22] or ignoring your body. It really means showing up softly, even if not at 100% while teaching
[00:14:29] your brain that this is safe. And then every time you do this without fear or judgment,
[00:14:34] your brain learns, I'm not in danger. I don't need to sound the alarm. Yeah. And so every time
[00:14:40] that you do this, that you experiment with resting, true rest, remember true rest,
[00:14:46] not shameful rest, then you reinforce that there's no perfect formula. It's just,
[00:14:51] it's trial and error and depends on how much fear you can meet with calmness. So remember,
[00:14:56] maybe this, make this your mantra. Actually, let's make this our mantra.
[00:15:00] Symptoms are evidence of my brain perceiving danger, not proof that I'm broken.
[00:15:05] Symptoms are evidence of my brain perceiving danger, not proof that I'm broken or that
[00:15:10] something is wrong. So next time you're fatigued ask, can I meet this calmly?
[00:15:14] Can I reassure myself? Or do I need to pause first? If you want deeper support in moving
[00:15:20] through this, and you're not exactly sure how all this works, or maybe you've been on this journey
[00:15:24] and you feel a little stuck, I would absolutely love to support you. This is truly my mission
[00:15:29] in life is to help support others along this path and to help you understand that you don't have
[00:15:34] to live and suffer in your symptoms at all anymore. You really don't. So find the link
[00:15:40] below to sign up for my mind, body healing method group program or for individual support.
[00:15:47] I have a few spots left for the rest of the year for individual therapy or coaching. And
[00:15:53] when you do that, when you work individually with me, you also get access to the mind body
[00:15:57] healing method. So I would love to support you if you feel like it's the right time for you
[00:16:01] and you can let me know if you have any questions. All right, y'all, talk soon.
[00:16:06] If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to me if you could do
[00:16:10] these couple things. One, go to the heal with grace show page wherever you listen
[00:16:14] and tap the plus sign or click on the follow button so you don't miss an episode.
[00:16:19] It helps both of us out while you're there. If you could give a five star review
[00:16:23] so that this podcast can reach more people, it would mean so much to me. So I can continue
[00:16:28] sharing episodes that help you as well as others. Thanks for listening. And I hope this brings
[00:16:33] you hope on your journey.
[00:00:06] understand when do you rest and when do you push through your fatigue? It is
[00:00:11] such a big question that I get. And honestly, something I have asked myself many, many times
[00:00:17] as well as I've gone through this journey. So I just want to normalize that it is,
[00:00:22] first of all, not an exact science. And my answer is really going to be it depends,
[00:00:27] which I know that you don't really want to hear and you want to hear an exact
[00:00:30] few steps of how to understand that, which I'm going to give you some tips.
[00:00:34] But just like a lot of this, we're all a little bit different in our
[00:00:37] symptomology and how it shows up and where we are in this process. So I'm going to share with you
[00:00:43] the tips that I can give you to help you understand when do you
[00:00:47] rest and when do you essentially not rest because I don't like the term push through.
[00:00:53] I don't actually think you should ever push through. And I'm going to share with you about
[00:00:57] what I mean by that. Hey there and welcome to Heal with Grace. I'm your host, Grace Secker,
[00:01:03] and I'm a holistic licensed therapist and nervous system coach who believes that the chronic and
[00:01:08] often unseen symptoms you're living with are a sign of something deeper going on.
[00:01:12] A sign that your nervous system needs attention. In each episode, I'll share the science
[00:01:17] behind the most common chronic health disorders, plus holistic health tips,
[00:01:21] using mental, physical, and spiritual practices. You'll hear what I've learned in my journey
[00:01:26] and the true stories from our trusted guests so you can feel less alone in your experience
[00:01:31] and give yourself grace no matter what you're going through. So without further ado,
[00:01:35] settle in and get cozy. It's time to heal with Grace.
[00:01:40] So when you have been through chronic fatigue syndrome, ME, CFS, or just chronic fatigue
[00:01:48] has been a part of your journey, you probably have had times where you've had to push through.
[00:01:53] You're like, well, life is going on and I, I can't be tired and sit on the couch today
[00:01:58] if that's where you are in your journey. Now there are some people who cannot do that in our
[00:02:03] bedridden. And so this might be a little bit different for you, but you can also take it
[00:02:08] for where you are in your journey and what your symptomology looks like. So first and foremost,
[00:02:14] there's a couple of different types of fatigue, right? There is the quote unquote
[00:02:18] normal fatigue, like after a workout or lack of sleep or a big day or a lot of things stacked
[00:02:24] up over time in your life where you have a lot going on, which is proportionate. The fatigue
[00:02:28] you feel is proportionate to what's going on in your life. And I'm not talking about
[00:02:33] post exertion malaise. I'm talking about a true body or mind or energy fatigue that
[00:02:40] any human on this earth feels when there's a lot going on and they have stress in their life.
[00:02:45] And then, and again, that's objective, right? We all experience that a little bit differently
[00:02:48] and we all hold things differently. We all hold the amount of stress in our lives differently.
[00:02:53] Then there is chronic fatigue, like symptom fatigue, which is more of a nervous system
[00:02:58] freeze or shutdown, which is really disproportionate to what has happened in the stress in your
[00:03:05] life. You might feel achy, foggy, not resolved by extra stress. You sleep all the time and it
[00:03:11] doesn't change how fatigued or bad you feel usually has something else going on with it,
[00:03:17] whether that's like brain fog, achy body, joints, gut issues, other types of symptoms as well.
[00:03:23] It's not usually just fatigue. And so remember this, that the brain is a prediction machine.
[00:03:29] It expects fatigue, pain, or symptoms and that when you're in a high state stress response and
[00:03:35] then the body follows with that. So what we're going to talk about is how to get out of that
[00:03:40] expectation and really learn how to choose when are you going to rest and when are you not.
[00:03:44] And first and foremost, I want to say this, when I mean by I don't like the term push
[00:03:49] through, what I mean is if you're pushing through, you're probably coming at it from
[00:03:54] a place of shame, guilt, self criticism, judgment, right? You often judge yourself when fatigue or
[00:04:00] symptoms arise. Like, why is this happening? I shouldn't feel this way. Oh my gosh, how much
[00:04:04] coffee am I going to have to drink today? I don't know if I can do this. I'm barely hanging on.
[00:04:08] I mean, I don't know how to, you know, what's going on with me, what's wrong,
[00:04:12] my body's broken. And when we approach ourself and our symptoms with that,
[00:04:16] that judgment signals danger back to the brain, which just reinforces the prediction
[00:04:21] of fatigue. So it creates more fatigue. So that's what's happening when your brain is
[00:04:26] overprotecting itself. It's not about being broken. It's about perceiving danger where
[00:04:30] there isn't harm. So it depends answer comes from the place of, am I pushing through or am I not?
[00:04:38] It depends on how you can approach your symptoms. So if you can approach yourself,
[00:04:43] your nervous system, your fatigue, with a few different things, one from the knowledge of,
[00:04:49] I know this isn't dangerous. I know there's nothing wrong with me, or at least in a disease type
[00:04:54] way. This is not a disease. This is not something that I have to live with forever. I know this is
[00:04:58] my brain and nervous system response. And I know that I can approach it from a place of
[00:05:02] compassion and love and care and help myself move through this. That's when if you know you
[00:05:08] can do that and you can approach your symptoms without the judgment, then I would say, okay,
[00:05:15] let's move through this. Let's continue with life instead of having to stay put and rest and take
[00:05:19] a step back. How scared are you when the symptoms pop up? If you're terrified and really fearful
[00:05:25] and going down the rabbit hole of, oh my gosh, I can't do this. I don't know how I'm going to
[00:05:29] do this. I'm going to have to cancel work. Who's going to pick up the kids? You know,
[00:05:32] the spiral of the what ifs. If you're in that state, I would not continue to quote
[00:05:38] on quote push through or to move through your activity level when you want to. If you
[00:05:44] have something going on or you're trying to increase your exercise or your movement because
[00:05:48] that fear is just going to increase the brain response of danger. So, well, but if your symptoms
[00:05:55] go up a little bit, can you calmly respond and reassure yourself authentically, not with panic?
[00:06:03] Can you remember that symptoms are evidence of your brain proceeding danger, not actual danger?
[00:06:09] And if the answer is yes, then you can gently increase activity and keep moving through life.
[00:06:16] You still might not feel great. You still might feel tired or fatigued, but if you can approach
[00:06:21] yourself with love and compassion and see that fatigue as a part of you and not the full you,
[00:06:27] then it's actually a little bit easier to move through life. I mean, I've had days for sure
[00:06:31] where I, you know, second my eyes open, I'm like, oh, I feel it. I feel it. And what
[00:06:36] am I going to do? How am I going to go through life? Oh my gosh, I can't do work. I can't see
[00:06:42] clients. I am like the amount of fear that happens when I first opened my eyes. Of course,
[00:06:47] my brain and my body is going to go under even more danger and more symptoms. But instead,
[00:06:51] if I can open my eyes with, okay, I'm, I'm feeling it today. And I know that this is just
[00:06:59] a part of me. So I'm going to talk to it and say, Hey, I see you as you protective
[00:07:04] mechanism. You see that you're trying to help me. And then I might go into the journal speak
[00:07:10] practice or a meditation to help reduce symptoms, all the tools that I, that I teach in the mind
[00:07:15] body healing method and do the practices I know to help me move through it. And it might not
[00:07:21] just totally really going through those practices, I might still feel it, but I know that I can
[00:07:26] move throughout the day, knowing that that part's there, just kind of like this blanket or
[00:07:30] this cloud over me or this part of my shoulder, right? But I know that's not fully me. And I'm
[00:07:35] not afraid of it. I'm not afraid of those symptoms. I can still be in my work and do what I want to
[00:07:40] do that day with a lot of grace, a lot of flexibility, a lot of compassion for myself. And I might
[00:07:46] modify my day for sure, or modify my workout or exercise or whatever it is. But it's from a
[00:07:52] place of love and care and response of, Okay, I know this isn't going to last forever. And
[00:07:58] it just is what it is. I see it as a part and I'm going to move through it. That's very different
[00:08:03] than if the answer is no, you can't do that, then it might be better to pause, regulate and
[00:08:08] build safety first. Meaning if you wake up with judgment or I say wake up, that's just my
[00:08:13] experience. I know the second my eyes open, like if I'm in symptoms or not. But if that's not
[00:08:18] in your practice, I wouldn't continue to move forward with increasing your activity. If
[00:08:24] you're coming at it from a place of judgment and criticism. Hey friend, it's Grace. I know you're
[00:08:29] tired of feeling like managing your physical and mental health is just one big moving target.
[00:08:34] I also know that you've spent years of your life and hundreds of dollars on doctor's visits,
[00:08:38] juice cleanses, fad diets and fancy supplements only to feel like nothing about your chronic
[00:08:43] symptoms has changed. If this sounds like you consider this your invitation to find a holistic
[00:08:48] health protocol that works for you and your body. Even if you have chronic symptoms,
[00:08:52] unhealed trauma or dysregulated nervous system. That's exactly what's waiting for you inside the
[00:08:58] mind body healing method. My 12 week group program that's designed to help you say body
[00:09:02] or chronic symptoms through learning how to regulate your nervous system, retrain your brain
[00:09:07] and heal unresolved trauma. Our clients have found relief from even the most chronic of
[00:09:12] symptoms including fibromyalgia, sciatica, migraines, gut issues and other uncomfortable
[00:09:17] symptoms without pills or a long list of rituals and regimens. If you'd like to
[00:09:21] learn more about our program, head over to the show notes and learn more because the truth is
[00:09:26] that there is a protocol that works for you. You just might not have found the right balance
[00:09:31] for your body yet. Now let's get back to the episode. I also want to point out that there's
[00:09:38] also a trial and error part of this. So it's not always going to be easy to understand
[00:09:44] is this quote unquote normal fatigue or is this nervous system fatigue? It takes time to
[00:09:50] understand that. I now understand more of the difference, but if you've been in fatigue and
[00:09:55] symptoms for a long time, you may not really understand that difference. So it takes practice.
[00:09:59] Like if you're fatigued one day and you're like, well, I don't really know if this is
[00:10:04] normal. Like should I rest because this is just a normal human response or is this just
[00:10:08] fatigue? So I should continue on with my day and my exercise because I don't want to give
[00:10:13] my brain the validation that something's wrong. Well, sometimes you kind of try it out again
[00:10:19] with some gentleness and ease and talking to yourself and working with your skills and grounding.
[00:10:24] So what that might look like is, okay, well, maybe I'm actually going to let myself rest
[00:10:31] today and I'm going to maybe shift some plans around or cancel something or not do an exercise
[00:10:36] or movement and really just give myself that rest with compassion. Not while you're resting,
[00:10:42] you're going to be like, oh my gosh, I should be doing more and I feel so guilty for resting.
[00:10:47] That's not resting. Resting is giving yourself the ultimate permission to be able to rest.
[00:10:54] And if you do that and you get extra sleep that night or something like that,
[00:10:58] and then you recognize, oh, okay, I have a little more energy now. All right. Well,
[00:11:03] then you did the right thing. But if you did that and you still have a lot of fatigue
[00:11:08] and brain fog and you just don't feel well, that is your nervous system and brain response.
[00:11:13] So that's what I mean by trial and error. Sometimes it takes some experience, some
[00:11:17] experiments to figure out what's going to work for you and what's not. I mean,
[00:11:21] this has taken me years to figure out, to be honest. It doesn't have to for you believe me
[00:11:25] because for a long time I was missing that judgment. I was missing the response. I would judge the
[00:11:32] shit out of myself all the time. Even if I was like, okay, I'm going to give myself time to
[00:11:37] rest and relax and just chill. I wasn't. I was judging and criticizing myself the whole time
[00:11:44] and feeling so guilty and shameful that I wasn't being more productive. And then I had this whole
[00:11:48] just distraught mindset of like, oh my gosh, how am I going to do this? Right? Again, there's
[00:11:54] a difference here. So a couple of checkpoints here. One, before deciding to rest or move,
[00:12:00] pause and try to journal. What's really going on for you right now? What are you feeling?
[00:12:05] Like, what are the depths of your feeling? And if you don't know what I mean by that,
[00:12:08] you can go back to the journal, the episode I have on my podcast about journaling and what
[00:12:14] that looks like. I'm going to link it below. Start to give yourself some inquiry, self-inquiry,
[00:12:18] okay? Listen to the parts of you that are activated. What's going on right now?
[00:12:23] Help yourself reduce some fear by maybe somatic tracking, using some sort of meditation,
[00:12:29] which I have a multiple of in my program that helps reduce this fear and really listen to
[00:12:34] actually what's going on underneath the surface. Then if you still want to rest, rest and don't
[00:12:39] move forward. If you have symptom fatigue, if you know that it's your nervous system and brain
[00:12:44] response, like you have that chronic fatigue that feels like crap, you can still move through life.
[00:12:49] But don't come at it from a place of pushing through. Come at it from a place of moving
[00:12:53] through with compassion and expanding your capacity to hold this stress as you move
[00:12:59] through life. Respond calmly, meet yourself with compassion and continue with gentleness.
[00:13:05] And then you'll also learn what's normal fatigue. So when you're starting a new exercise or workout
[00:13:09] routine, your body, not just physically, you mentally also might feel extra fatigue and that's
[00:13:15] normal. And again, I'm not talking about post-exertional malaise. That's something different.
[00:13:20] So that is a nervous system response to when you start increasing activity from when you've
[00:13:25] been healing chronic fatigue, when you've been working through this process and you
[00:13:28] start to increase your activity. And then your nervous system goes, oh my gosh, that was so
[00:13:31] dangerous. And it sends you into a chronic fatigue, like deeper response. That's different.
[00:13:37] That doesn't mean you did too much. And I know there's some varying opinions about that,
[00:13:41] but it doesn't always mean that you did too much. And again, when that happens,
[00:13:45] how can you respond to yourself with compassion and understanding and knowing that
[00:13:49] that's not always going to be the case. But when you're challenging your nervous system
[00:13:53] and you're expanding your capacity for these things that your brain has always said is dangerous,
[00:13:59] then yeah, your body's probably going to respond in the beginning of like, oh,
[00:14:02] we don't like this. This is dangerous. All right, I'm going to send you these symptoms.
[00:14:05] So in a way, you can almost expect, I know that's not really great to hear, but you can almost
[00:14:10] expect that you're not always going to increase activity and it go well. That's just not the
[00:14:16] reality of recovery of moving through this. So remember that pushing through is not bulldozing
[00:14:22] or ignoring your body. It really means showing up softly, even if not at 100% while teaching
[00:14:29] your brain that this is safe. And then every time you do this without fear or judgment,
[00:14:34] your brain learns, I'm not in danger. I don't need to sound the alarm. Yeah. And so every time
[00:14:40] that you do this, that you experiment with resting, true rest, remember true rest,
[00:14:46] not shameful rest, then you reinforce that there's no perfect formula. It's just,
[00:14:51] it's trial and error and depends on how much fear you can meet with calmness. So remember,
[00:14:56] maybe this, make this your mantra. Actually, let's make this our mantra.
[00:15:00] Symptoms are evidence of my brain perceiving danger, not proof that I'm broken.
[00:15:05] Symptoms are evidence of my brain perceiving danger, not proof that I'm broken or that
[00:15:10] something is wrong. So next time you're fatigued ask, can I meet this calmly?
[00:15:14] Can I reassure myself? Or do I need to pause first? If you want deeper support in moving
[00:15:20] through this, and you're not exactly sure how all this works, or maybe you've been on this journey
[00:15:24] and you feel a little stuck, I would absolutely love to support you. This is truly my mission
[00:15:29] in life is to help support others along this path and to help you understand that you don't have
[00:15:34] to live and suffer in your symptoms at all anymore. You really don't. So find the link
[00:15:40] below to sign up for my mind, body healing method group program or for individual support.
[00:15:47] I have a few spots left for the rest of the year for individual therapy or coaching. And
[00:15:53] when you do that, when you work individually with me, you also get access to the mind body
[00:15:57] healing method. So I would love to support you if you feel like it's the right time for you
[00:16:01] and you can let me know if you have any questions. All right, y'all, talk soon.
[00:16:06] If this podcast means something to you, it would mean so much to me if you could do
[00:16:10] these couple things. One, go to the heal with grace show page wherever you listen
[00:16:14] and tap the plus sign or click on the follow button so you don't miss an episode.
[00:16:19] It helps both of us out while you're there. If you could give a five star review
[00:16:23] so that this podcast can reach more people, it would mean so much to me. So I can continue
[00:16:28] sharing episodes that help you as well as others. Thanks for listening. And I hope this brings
[00:16:33] you hope on your journey.
